Is my Cat a wanton Harlot?

Question

"Meeeoww!" Was the noise that got me up out of bed at 02.00am.

I heard it again. . .against some Dervish Music, throbbing Drum 'n Bass.

"MeeeeeeOOOOOOOOOWW!" Hairs standing on the nape of my Neck, I cautiously ambled over to the bedroom window and gingerly opened the curtains.

And what did I see? Four surly Youths sitting in their Ford Escort Customized Motor leering and looking all slavish and unruly with the Boom Box on full blast as my Cat was Belly Dancing on the car bonnet wearing a pair of my Dear Wife's Bloomers.

She was yowling and making the same sort of racket Cleopatra did when she seduced Mark Anthony.

Well, I stormed outside, but just like a rabble of h**l Bound Bats they all shot off into the night.

Well,no Bloody milk for her tomorrow, Begad!

Answer 1

I agree with Lagomorph I did not believe those truly existed it has touched my heart, tickle under there!

In answer to your question Sir those cats sneek up on baby birds and make me cry so may I suggest you call the vet?

Yeah! I know they look cool and are fun to watch but they are scoundrels and burglars.

And might I also suggest you point a finger at it that will put it in its place, the hussy!

Answer 2

OMG write a book! pleeeeeeeeeeeeze!

Answer 3

Kitty is merely testing her powers of seduction my dear, as all young ladies must. Though she went a little over-the-top (a simple purr and rubbing up would have sufficed), her belly dance was certainly the closest these youths and their customised vehicle will get to erotica old chap.  Teach Kitty that vulgar posturing never appeals to a true gentleman.

Answer 4

Righty-o!

Answer 5

No...just sounds like a female cat crying out to be spayed

Answer 6

I say old bean your p***y has been parading her self draws akimbo upon the bonnet of the chav motor?

This is a common effect of customised vehicles owned by the younger generation; it would appear they have installed a devilish device described as a "p***y MAGNET" I over heard some of the common riff raff talking about their "p***y MAGNETS" in the car park down at the Badgers Armpit Inn? they apparently drive around with the old gramophone turned up and it attracts cats of all descriptions ?I do believe they also attract donkeys as one wretched youth was boasting he had pulled a "Fine piece of ***" ruddy h**l man i am sure a donkey in a customised vehicle would cause some damage???

Answer 7

Bl**dy h**l, youve got a vivid imagination!!!!!

Answer 8

You simply must encourage her to become with kittens straightaway. Once she takes up her own social housing tenancy, it will be someone else's estate she's disturbing.

Answer 9

Hahahahahaha Hilarious. :) I guess your kitty likes to dance!!!!! Cute. Are you a writer?? lol If not you should be!

Answer 10

Well, you supplied and she took-so that makes you _____!

Answer 11

all cats are harlots

Answer 12

Yep she either needs to be fixed or she's bored. Our girl was fixed last week and was so quiet when she came home but now she's keeping us up at night with all her meowing. I have yet to see why she is doing this.

R