Is my Dad being too harsh on me?

Question

I talk to people older than me online. I know these people don't mean any harm. They don't ask for any personal information or pictures. They also don't talk about subjects that aren't appropiate. If they did, I would have been aware of it and stopped talking to them. My Dad thinks it is wrong, and that I'm going to sneak out in the middle of the night to meet them. I wouldn't do that.

He thinks I should talk to people only my age. But I always got along with adults better. I know a lot of sixteen year olds don't even use grammar when typing to another person. I never got along with other teens. He grounded me for a month from the internet last month. I feel I didn't do anything to betray his trust. How do I approach him on this?

Answer 1

Here's the problem -- it's not you that he mistrusts, it's the adults who have nothing better to do with their time than talk to kids online.  THOSE are the ones that are a little creepy, especially if you don't know them.  You are only talking to a person who has told you what they want you to know about themselves -- who knows how much of it is true?

The only exception I would make for this is if you had an interest -- for example, books, dog agility training or stained glass work, or something that is normally something that only adults participate in -- and were taking to people on-line only about that subject and your age wasn't a factor.  

Casual chatting, though -- that would put up red flags for any parent.  Sorry.

Answer 2

I always use grammar.

Also, your dad is only trying to protect you. You can never think that you can't get along with other teens, it just seems that you haven't met too many if you say it like that.

Answer 3

your father is only trying to keep you safe not hurt you. He knows how adults are he is one. There are alot of sickos out there and you may think they mean no harm but then that is how they hurt you the worst. Please listen to your dad he  loves you and doesnt want anything bad to happen to you.

Answer 4

wow you sound just like me when i was 16. actually all my life i have always gotten along a lot better with adults, my maturity level was much higher than my peers. lucky for me, my parents recognized it and were never surprised that i had older friends. on some levels your father is being to harsh, because of the fact that you are more mature than the people your age and you don't really find them stimulating. on the other hand your father's worries are completely justified, because of the way your peers are now days. i would suggest sitting him down and explaining how you feel about the situation. tell him you know better than to sneak off, your conversations are non-sexual, and you just crave more mature  and stimulating conversation. tell him how you feel and see if you can come up with a compromise to make everyone comfortable.

Answer 5

I agree with your dad.  If my teenage daughter was talking to adults on-line I would ban her from using the internet untill she promised to stop and then moniter her internet use untill I could trust her again.

Answer 6

What you need to do is take a step back and look at things from a different perspective...look at it from your dad's point of view.

He's thinking about all the horror stories he's heard and watched on CNN, MSNBC, FOX, etc. about teenage girls being lured out of their homes by someone they met online.  He's seen those videos of myspace teens. What he's trying to do is avoid that situation completely. He doesn't want to be the one on TV, crying his eyes out, because some s*x fiend or murderer, convinced his child that no harm would come to her if they just met at a local restaurant for a soda. Very seldom is it just a " casual " meeting for a drink.

He is being protective as a father should be. Maybe he's old fashioned in his ways, but it's still the same feeling of making sure your child is safe. So, I don't think it's a fact of betraying his trust unless he specifically told you not to do it and you went ahead and kept talking to older people online.

Have a talk with him...let him know you understand he may be feeling like I mentioned above. But also make him part of your online life. Tell him you'd never do anything like sneaking out but, would instead, let him know if you're invited somewhere by an online friend and have him go with you.

He needs to know you are safe. Grounding you for a month makes his fears a little less real. If you're home, and off the internet, then he worries a whole lot less.

Answer 7

make your dad meet them/talk to them

Answer 8

I think that your dad isn't being harsh, more protective of his little girl.  You hear all the time about these girls who end up talking to older men online and in the end they are found dead.  Although you are being responsible about it, there is still a possibility that you can leak information about yourself.  Now a days these older people are capable of hacking onto your computer and accessing all of your personal files (it happened to my friend).  I would be careful and maybe lay off of it for a bit until you are older.

Answer 9

uhhhm yeah.... your dad is not being harsh on you one bit. i'm not sure why you have the internet back when you still think its not bad to talk to adults online.

gah that's just messed up that you're talking to adults. and i'm guessing they're guys too..... who cares if people your age don't spell or type right. its not going to hurt you or anything. but talking to adults potentially could.

you have no idea how easy it is to access imformation from a computer you're sending and recieving messages from.... these adults could easily find out where you live....

Answer 10

I do not think so. You might think you know everything and you won't be that stupid to give info away but just for saftey you should stop.

Answer 11

Yes I think your dad is to harsh, In this day and age there is so much paranois over internet predators people dont realise how harmless 'talking to strangers' can be. For example just by asking this question here in yahoo answers your 'talking to strangers!' the people who are answering you are 'talking to a stranger'. the stranger being you, so yes your dad is paranoid. but kudos to you for thinking outside the box!

Answer 12

Yes... completely wrong... They don't need you to tell them information once you start talking to them they can easily hack into your computer....

Answer 13

I have several friends that I know from online who are between the ages of sixteen and eighteen (I'm twenty-six myself).  Often without meaning to they slip up and say/do something that gives away personal information.

While I know that I would never use that information improperly, I make it a point to let them know when they do it so that they can be more cautious with others.

That said, it's a case of your father looking out for your safety.  If you want to make certain that your father trusts you on the matter, why not offer to use a logger so that he can read over your conversations later and thus see that you aren't doing anything inappropriate?

Edit - Also, to previous posters, I note that she never gave the gender of these people that she knows from online.  Why the automatic assumption that they're men?  Grown women use the internet too.

Answer 14

If I was your father I would take away your computer. Would you talk to boys 10 years younger than you? If these men can't get  friends there own age and have to talk to kids they must be real losers, which is why you should not be talking to them.

Answer 15

some parts r reasonable & some arent

Answer 16

It's wrong

You might give something away on accident

It's just safe to stop talking to them