Hello
I have seen the signs that say that something will happen after my death, and after this awful life of mine to which I have had an incredible amount of problems; I have had several heart attacks at the age of 25 or so.
I have had many paranormal experiences and things that suggest something good would happen one day.
They include the following things...
A feeling inside since the age of about 3 years old that I long for something intensely, feeling a sick like feeling (not nausea) as a result of the emotion.
It is a longing sensation.
I have also felt that something will happen that's good one day.
As time went on, this feeling has got more and more intense.
When I developed cardiac arrhythmia previously, when it reached September 1st 2002, the emotion was so strong (feeling something good was going to happen) that I had a heart attack that day; but this is not the cause of the heart problem (that was caused by a chemical).
I told my mother about this feeling, and she just says "You have a special meaning or purpose" which it's self doesn't tell me anything about what is to happen, but she says "You will go to the highest place when you die".
She has no scientific proof of this.
She then said that this 'special meaning I have' was due to the disability of the mind, something she claimed to believe in accordance to her religion.
But my research showed nothing of the sort is mentioned in her religion's texts at all, so it makes me wonder how she could make such a claim.
Although something that was similar in nature that has been found is the information about 'Indigo children', but I don't think she know anything from this....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indigo_children
I am aware of a feeling of being drawn to freezing temperatures, I can withstand incredibly cold weather and I mean incredible cold.
How does this related to what she thinks?
Then I thought that I must have been in a place like the Arctic in the pre-mortal existence and that I would be going back to the freezing world.
I wanted to be there that much that it has resulted in these emotions.
I want to communicate what this feeling is like, feeling that something is going to happen. I called it 'Phoenix phenomenon', but unless you have felt it, you couldn't understand what I mean.
It feels like an extremely pleasant, very strange and a kind of forbidden feeling; kind of like you get when you eat chocolate when you’re on a diet.
It is profoundly extreme, deep and emotional (through the spirit and deep down).
I associate many things with it.
The phoenix means 'the new age', hence the name.
It is represented by shocking pink to me.
I remind me of how I like the cold.
However, one thing that cannot be explained is that before my mother told me anything about this; I felt this feeling strongly about 30 seconds before hand; she hadn't mentioned this issue before hand for about 10 years.
Back then, I thought she was crazy.
Today, many things happen; they have included flashes of light, amazing co-incidences and all kinds of incredible events.
Mystical incidents are common place now; many people have made comments about them when they knew nothing of it previously.
It will not be long before I die, I can feel I will die soon.
I don't know what to expect.
I can't stop asking "What is gonna to happen to me?"
Although there is this excitement in a pleasant way, the mysteriousness is making me feeling a feeling of slight fear, not real fear, but a feeling of "Uh-oh!â€Â
It is like standing in a corridor that is ‘pitch dark’ at the other end, and I know what I want is supposed to be at the other end; but I can't be sure that it isn’t really h**l.
It is really strange to think about.
But I know I want to go into that pitch blackness to get to the other side, I will die regardless of what I do, so I may as well go down there.
It is a feeling like being in a room that is absolutely ‘pitch black’.
What is going to happen to me? Will I be OK?
I only wish someone can be with me as I go there, but they probably won't be.
I want to go there so very much, even though it feels really dark and mysterious.
The pleasure of going down there greatly outweighs the feeling of disconcertedness. (I want to go so very much; and the fear is slight, but still very real) It is best described as a feeling of 'awe'.
What do you think of going to happen to me?
Snow Man
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