Is my baby the only one who won't sleep thru the night?

Question

I'm at my wits end with my little one and am wondering if anyone out there is going through the same thing. Our little girl is 10 months old and I can count on my hand how many times she has slept thru the night. She averages about once a month. I have talked to her doctor and because we have tried EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING, she really had no suggestions. Is there anyone out there like me who's baby just won't sleep thru the night? She wakes up about every 2 hours and we're so desperate for sleep that we just let her sleep with us. We NEVER co-slept with her but after 10 months, we're desperate. She still wakes for her pacifier, which is a quick fix, or does wake up and we have to shush her to sleep but are we the only ones? Are there others out there whose baby still doesn't sleep thru the night? I know she will sleep thru the night eventually but after trying EVERYTHING, I'm wondering if there is anything we're missing and how many others are out there that are sleep deprived too! I joke about being sleep deprived but I am truly concerned about her getting a good night sleep as well since she needs it more than we do. She's growing and needs her rest and I want to make sure she gets what she needs. Please tell me we're not alone! Thanks!

Answer 1

Is she on a schedule? Like eating her meals around the same time during the day? That was one thing my mom pounded in my head and it worked. When does she nap during the day? Does she sleep more than once? You should try to keep her on a schedule where she wakes up eats breakfast lunch and dinner at the same time everyday. And her nap should be once a day and normally around the same time everyday. And also does she still drink bottles? Try putting some cereal in her milk before bed. Doctors say not to because they can choke but are you really just going to give it to her and leave her alone? Haha, but seriously i did it and my child is 3 and sleeps all through the night unless he's sick. Try it really. Other ppl prolly won't agree as well but do what you think is right. I know PLENTY of women who have done this with their children and they started sleeping through the night at 3 months. Hope I helped. =)

Answer 2

Thiks should make you feel better - my 8mos old little girl will only stay in her crib for about 20 minutes before screaming high holy heaven!  She will sleep just fine when she is sleeping with me but alone, no way.  She also is the lightest sleeper so making the transfer from my arms to her crib is a no go.  I have tried the crying it out - method and get so tired---that I bring her back to bed with me.  Hey---eventually, our kids will get it.  Welcome to parenthood eh??  Good luck!

Answer 3

You're not alone.

One of my twins didn't sleep through until she was about a year old.  Even now she has some bad nights sometimes.

Hang in there!

I co-slept to save my sanity.  :-)

Answer 4

First off you are soooooo not the only one.

My nephew is nearly 2 and still does not sleep through the night.

How often do you let her name during the day.......you could try cutting the naps down.

The worst thing you can do is allow her to sleep with you.....your only making the situation worse by doing that because she'll form a habit and think it's ok to sleep with you.

The best advice I can give you is to stick it out.....she will improve......sleep when she's sleeping......and try a little tough love, it's hard but sometimes it's what they need. Also try some background noise for her, or a radio station that's all talk no music.....it make calm her down just hearing a person's voice.

hang in there.....you can do this.

Answer 5

Think about these questions:

1. Does she take naps during the day? If so, how many?

Maybe she sleeps too much during the day, and isn't as tired at night.

2. Does she eat or drink anything before putting her to bed? Try having her drink milk about an hour or two before she goes to bed. That might help.

If this doesn't help, then she will eventually get out of it.

There will be a point were she will grow out of this. You just gotta keep trying but be patient.

Answer 6

This may sound strange but, super nanny Jo Frost, I don't know if you've seen her on tv, has a book out about raising a confident baby.  She is amazing..Get the book, it's only like 16 dollars.

Answer 7

No your not the only one...there are only a hand full of us moms that have good sleepers....there honestly is no 'miracle' cure..our doctor just told us we got lucky and have a great sleeper..you just will have to ride it out and remember it won't last forever. I'm sorry you have to go through this tough time..

Answer 8

My 12 month old still wakes a few times in the night.

We have him in bed with us and he'll wake up, toss and turn a bit, fuss a bit while he decides if he wants to snuggle with mommy or daddy, and then fall back to sleep within a few minutes.  He's never taken a pacifier and up until about a month ago, I'd nurse him back to sleep- but it was causing back problems for me because I was stuck in the same position all night.

She'll start sleeping more eventually.  I know it's tiring- but having her in bed with you seems like it's helping.  And there's nothing wrong with co-sleeping if it's done properly.

Good luck & I hope you start getting sleep soon mama!

Also, don't worry about her being sleep deprived.  All babies wake in the night.  Some just bring more attention to themselves than others.  Our oldest is a great sleeper and has been since he was 8 weeks old.  He's 2 now, and I still sometimes wake up in the night because I hear him on the monitor talking to himself.

Answer 9

This is a common problem, and there are a lot of different schools of advice for how to handle it.  It is hard to help much without a list of what you already did.  I know that list is long and a lot to write.  You will also find that people who favor one approach can be very much against others.

My son slept through the night most of the time starting at around 2 months old after we read Jodi A. Mindell's Sleeping Through the Night and followed her advice.  My brother-in-law told us about it.

My son is 2 years old, and his sleep battle now stems from his never ending desire for dinosaurs.  He wants them non-stop but has bad dreams if we don't distract him well enough before bed time.

Answer 10

The best way to break her from waking up so often is to ignore her - or at least make her think you are.  If everytime she wakes up you guys jump and get her what she wants - you're not teaching her that she is supposed to sleep all night.  Keep her pacifier near her and make sure she is full before bed.  That should help.

Answer 11

probably

Answer 12

FINALLY SOMEONE THAT CAN RELATE!!! Though this is not something to be happy about... but to one tired parent to another... its nice to know you are out there... my son is 5 months old and doesnt sleep more than 2 hours at a time. EVERY once in awhile he will surprise us and sleep 4 hours... I am sooo tired... the crazy things I have done from lack of sleep is NUMEROUS (I.E supposedly I walked around the house w/ a turkey baster, I have breast pumped w/ no bottle attached, the craziness is endless) I have tried everything and it doesnt work... (Ferbers "cry it out", routines, etc...) he wont take a pacifier... the only thing I have started to do that works is give him a bath then play w/ him until he is exausted and he sleeps A LITTLE MORE (like 2 1/2 hours...)

I really want to hit my friends who say.. "well I dont know why he wont sleep for you.. I never had that problem when my baby was 6 WEEKS old he/she slept through the night." THEN they go on to complain hoooow HARD that 6 WEEKS were!!

Lets see: I dont co-sleep (though did in the beginning month and tried a few more times to see if hed sleep longer... but he likes sleeping on his own) I am sorry I have NO advice... if you find a miracle PLEASE send it my way?  

Answer 13

My son is going to be 10 months on the 19th and he's only slept through the night ONCE. You are not alone. I'm hoping along with you that it doesn't continue much longer. : )

Answer 14

MY SON HAS NEVER BEEN A GOOD SLEEPER.  WE CO SLEPT FOR MANY A MONTHS.  HE IS NOW 21 MONTHS AND SLEEPS IN HIS CRIB, BUT HE USUALLY WAKES UP AT LEAST ONCE A NIGHT.  I PAT HIS BACK AND HE GOES BACK TO SLEEP.  SORRY IM NOT VERY HELPFUL.  BUT IT WILL GET BETTER..........EVENTUALLY.

Answer 15

your definatley not alone. my son has been getting up a few times a night for the past month or so too... its driving me batty! he used to sleep through the night with no problems... not anymore! i dont really have any suggestions for you either... sorry but your not alone. a friend of mine has a little girl that didnt sleep through the night until she was 8 years old.... :S

Answer 16

*lol* about 50% of babies still do not sleep through at 12 months, sorry you have been lied to ;-)

If it makes you feel better my 28 month old is still up 3 times a night, at least.  And I have an 8 month old. He slept two 6 hour chunks from 2 weeks to 4 months and is now up fairly often at night.  Honestly I just don't count anymore.

http://kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/slee...

"However, even in the 12-month-old group, 50% of infants typically required parental intervention to get back to sleep after waking. Results emphasize the individual and contextual factors that effect the development of self-soothing behavior during the first year of life. "

Goodlin-Jones BL, et al. Night waking, sleep-wake organization, and self-soothing in the first year of life.

J Dev Behav Pediatr 2001 Aug;22(4):226-33

Armstrong KL, Quinn RA & Dadds MR. The sleep patterns of normal children.

Medical Journal of Australia 1994 Aug 1;161(3):202-6.

The above study is the definitive work on sleeping habits of (Australian) children to 38 months. The researchers surveyed 3269 parents, with a 96.5% response rate, over a one week period. The parents had to report on their child's sleeping habits over the past 24 hours, plus answer a few questions related to their perceptions of their child's sleep behavior.

What did they find?

    * There is a wide range of normal childhood sleep behavior.

    * Circadian rhythm is not well established until four months of age.

    * Daytime sleep becomes less regular with increasing age, the most marked reduction in length occurs around 3 months of age. However, a surprising 11% under 3 months of age don't have a daytime sleep every day.

    * Frequent night waking that disturbs parents is common from 4-12 months (12.7% disturb their parents 3 or more times every night).

    * Night time settling requires more parental input from 18 months.

    * Nearly a third of parents have a significant problem with their child's sleep behavior.

    * Sleeping through the night: 71.4% did this on at least one occasion by 3 months of age, but many of these relapse into more frequent waking in the 4 to 12 month period. It is not until after 24 months that regular night waking (requiring attention) becomes much less common.

Although this study did not address breastfeeding, it is relevant because a lack of understanding of "normal" sleep patterns can lead to supplementing, early solids, belief there is not enough milk, etc. The authors claim it also leads to misdiagnosis of gastro-esophageal reflux (GER) and overuse of sedative medication. A worrying 31% of 25-38 month-old children were disciplined (mostly smacking) to get them to settle. 27% of parents let their children cry, 11% at less than one month.

Scher A. A longitudinal study of night waking in the first year.

Child Care Health Dev 1991 Sep-Oct;17(5):295-302.

Abstract: A longitudinal study of the development of sleep patterns addressed the issue of continuity and change in night waking in the course of the first year. Mothers of 118 infants, who took part in a follow-up study of normal babies, completed a sleep questionnaire at 3, 6, 9 and 12 months. Regular night waking was a common characteristic throughout the first year:

Baby's age



% babies waking at night

3 months



46%

6 months



39%

9 months



58%

12 months



55%

The number of awakenings per night was a function of age. Following a decline in the number of interruptions from 3 to 6 months, an increase in night waking at age 9 months was recorded. Although the methodology does not lend itself to an objective validation of the changes in sleep-wake states, nor is it suitable for causal explanations, it is, nevertheless, important to note this profile. The increase in night waking towards the end of the first year coincides with significant socio-emotional advances which characterize this developmental stage.

Elias MF, Nicolson NA, Bora C, Johnston J. Sleep/wake patterns of breast-fed infants in the first 2 years of life. Pediatrics. 1986 Mar;77(3):322-9.

Abstract: Published norms for infant sleep/wake patterns during the first 2 years of life include an increase in length of maximum sleep bout from four to five to eight to ten hours by 4 months but little decrease in total sleep in 24 hours from 13 to 15 hours. Thirty-two breast-fed infants were followed for 2 years and data collected on 24-hour patterns of nursing and sleep. Infants who were breast-fed into the second year did not develop sleep/wake patterns in conformance with the norms. Instead of having long unbroken night sleep, they continued to sleep in short bouts with frequent wakings. Their total sleep in 24 hours was less than that of weaned infants. This pattern was most pronounced in infants who both nursed and shared a bed with the mother, common practices in many nonwestern cultures. The sleep/wake development accepted as the physiologic norm may be attributable to the early weaning and separated sleeping practiced in western culture. As prolonged breast-feeding becomes more popular in our society, the norms of sleep/wake patterns in infancy will have to be revised.

Sleeping through the Night

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepth...

ormal, healthy, breastfed and co-sleeping children do not sleep "through the night" (say 7-9 hours at a stretch) until they are 3-4 years old, and no longer need night nursing. I repeat -- this is NORMAL and HEALTHY. Dr. James McKenna's research on co-sleeping clearly shows the dangers of solitary sleeping in young infants, who slip into abnormal patterns of very deep sleep from which it is very difficult for them to rouse themselves when they experience an episode of apnea (stop breathing). When co-sleeping, the mother is monitoring the baby's sleep and breathing patterns, even though she herself is asleep. When the baby has an episode of apnea, she rouses the baby by her movements and touch. This is thought to be the primary mechanism by which co-sleeping protects children from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/sl15.asp

This is a common concern, and a common argument against co-sleeping. The answer to your question is: "Yes, he will learn to fall asleep by himself." BUT, it will probably be much later than you are anticipating. Many parents have an unrealistic expectation about when their infants should be able to fall asleep by themselves. I hear people say six months, or one year. In reality, it's usually between 2 and 4 years. Our four-year-old still needs to be parented to sleep. This is not a problem for us, he still needs the "snuggle time".