Is my boyfriend's behavior telling me that he wants to cheat?

Question

My boyfriend of one year has a friend that he met online. This girl has sent him messages like "I heart you" with a little heart and telling him which of his pictures she likes. I always felt a little funny about this girl, considering that they've never met. I brought up this issue with him before and told him I didn't want them to talk anymore. He told me he understood and left it that. Now, a couple months later, the same girl tries to add me on facebook, telling me she is "good friends" with my boyfriend. I told him how I felt about that, which was pretty upset, and he said he didn't want to do anything to make me upset. Now today, I am on his computer, and rather than removing her from his buddy list on messenger, he just moved her down farther so I wouldn't see her if I were just glancing at the screen. I just don't feel right about the whole situation. Am I over reacting or do I have reason to be concerned??

Answer 1

If he's not doinking her now, he probably will.  Come on use your instincts, what would you do if you were in her situation.  What would make you say " I heart you" to a guy?  However is she local? Could just be an e-affair.

Answer 2

How did they meet on-line? Is he looking for something? I do not understand. It doesn't sound good to me, but my BF has female friends from on-line, but I know them too and I trust my BF completely. Also, we are much older and more mature. Over all that silly stuff.

Answer 3

It doesn't mean that he wants to CHEAT. If she's just an internet friend, it could mean he just likes the attention. What will be more telling is how he talks to HER. The gal sending affectionate messages doesn't mean that he's unfaithful via "affairs of the heart" I've had lady-online friends that were more romantic to me, than I to them.

  His insistence on keeping her around despite your objections? ... it's hard to say. A lot will depend on how 'jealous' you tend to be about his relations. Do you tend to get defensive about ANY female acquaintance? Do you object often about others? THAT may make it a "she's ALWAYS telling me not to talk to others" ..

   BUT! If it's rare that you get that way, or if you've NEVER asked him to delete a girl... It implies that the girl means more to him. It still may be innocent, but...  

  In either case, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, but keep watch on other "red flags" If there's trouble afoot between the 2 of you, it'll manifest in other areas. If not, remember that he DID take your feelings into account and tone down the relationship. ..Make SURE he understands that you worry about what her importance says about YOU. It's natural to be concerned.  

Answer 4

she has a big huge crush on him & it boosts his ego.

bottom line, YOU are his gf, & he should be concerned w/ your comfort first & foremost, so, if he isnt taking you seriously on this then, yes, I think he would cheat. sorry relationships suck.

Answer 5

He's already cheating.

With you!

If you're not his wife, he's cheating on the woman who he will eventually marry.

How's it feel to be a hussy?

Answer 6

I would say hes cheating on you but I'm not sure. If she was trying to add you wouldn't she know that he was already in a relationship? Unless hes mixing it up a little and playing with both of your heads. I wouldn't jump to conclusions but I would be a little sneaky and try to hold a conversation with this girl on his screen name ( not telling her you are not him). I know that's a little mean but you already don't trust him much. Go for it and see what happens. Oh or you can just ask him directly for his messenger password (if you don't have it already) and if hes not willing to give you his password you know hes hiding something from you.

Answer 7

Invite her for a threesome!

Answer 8

you are being overly protective. give him some breathing room otherwise he will cheat. let them be friends. let them talk and be like friends should. and try not to get into his life too much because you cannot control who people hangout with even if you are their girlfriend.

trust me.

Answer 9

thats a jerky thing to do on his part. i think he is disregarding your feelings and is rude enough to do it right in front of you

Answer 10

id tell him straight up  i know wats up

and cuss the hoe out.

boo yah!  

Answer 11

yes you have reason to be concerned

Answer 12

talk to him ask him what he sees in her that he doesnt in u. ask him if its something personnel that u need to help him with. but if  hes just in it for cyber s*x...well come on u kno u need to dump him!

Answer 13

Yes, boys cheat.

Answer 14

omg u have a HUGE REASON to b conserned threaten him tell him to choose between the internet girl or u dont just tell him to remove her  from his buddylist ORDER HIM to hes cheating on u

Answer 15

MMM...I don't know. I mean before you do anything that you may regret find out just how much conversation they are actually having. It is a 50/50 chance that he could be cheating or has barely spoken to her at all. However, if he can't respect the fact that you are uncomfortable with him having contact with her and continues to speak to her despite the fact, then you might want to reconsider your relationship. Hope this helps

Answer 16

I'm not meaning to bring you down.  But that's a fishy situation.  And to me it sounds like he's cheating on you.  But  go with your gut feeling which is if you wanna break up with him orrr stay together.  Or you can tell him your feeling really concerned and I'll garentee you if he likes you enough he'll tell you the truth.

Good Luck! :]

Answer 17

OMG YES DUMP HIM SOON

Answer 18

Dump him.  

Answer 19

over-reacting

i mean the girl did try to add you on her facebook didn't she

clearly she acknowledging that your his gf

Answer 20

More than likely he's already  been cheating on you with this woman if he doesn't want to take your feelings into consideration by talking and chatting with her on the computer.

Answer 21

Dump him, he's already cheating on you, idiot.

Answer 22

If anything it will be your insecurities that drive him to cheat. Relationships work on trust, if you can't trust him to have a friendship of any sought with a girl then it will never work out even if he does stay faithful.

Answer 23

u aren't overreacting!k,,, he's a pig

Answer 24

I believe your over-reacting, he probably wants to talk to her, being a boy myself i like to speak to other girls on msn aswell. The only time i would get concerned is when they start meeting each other. If i was in his position i would feel quite traped if i couldn't talk to girls on MSN. my girlfriend likes talking to all these guys on msn and sometimes i get jelous but then again its just talk. Let it go now and see what happens

Answer 25

it sounds like just firends and hes not old enough to go see her right? well its just on here but hten again you don't trust him and therefore that i not love and i would just move on and without him period.

Answer 26

its a reason to be concerned

if he really just wants you, he wouldn't have a problem with deleting the girl off of his list

but then again its hard to tell because maybe he just does consider her a friend, try to find proof, of them flirting or whatever, to make sure he is cheating or whatever

Answer 27

Maybe he's already dating that girl even when you met him and you just assume that he's your boyfriend. Or if he's really is your boyfriend and he's messing around just likw the others said, Dump him.

Answer 28

did he move her down or  has he just added other names in front of her,  

Answer 29

well almost all guys will do that

i mean add a hot chick on myspace or whatever and talk to her for fun

if he sees her in person he might cheat on u but if hes never seen her b4 then dont wory about it

Answer 30

you should be concerned but if he is relationships overcome this thing so  only you kno wat 2 do

Answer 31

dump him before he dumps you