Is my boyfriend too jealous?

Question

1. He goes through my phone to see who has called / texted me. Also, he stole my diary and read it.

2. He has called me up to 10-15 times a day when he's out of town to see what I am doing & he gets mad if I don't answer.

3. If I invite a friend over, he is usually very rude to her until she leaves

Help.

:-(

Answer 1

Ok, if I was going out with a chick and she did one of those things I am sure I would start walking away slowly then sprint into a rush dash far far away from the abusive person.

Face the music it is clear your boyfriend has security issue's that will likely lead towards violent abuse.

     Stand up for yourself. I see no point in trying to compromise because it might just turn him violent. The best thing you can do is calmly tell him you can't take it anymore and end the relationship.

   After the relationship is over if he attempts to contact you get a restraining order.

    If this is a real post your in a precarious situation. A friend of mine just got out of a situation like that and he is lucky to be in one piece.

Answer 2

Be very concerned, these actions are all the early warning signs of someone who will very likely become abusive. While not all abusive people show the same signs, or display the tendencies to the same extent, if several behavioural traits are present, there is a strong tendency toward abusiveness. Generally, the more signs are present, the greater the likelihood of violence.

Jealousy

At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of love. He/she may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him/her. As the jealousy progresses, he/she may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.

Controlling Behaviour

Controlling behaviour is often disguised or excused as concern. Concern for your safety, your emotional or mental health, the need to use your time well, or to make sensible decisions. Your abuser may be angry or upset if you are 'late' coming back from work, shopping, visiting friends, etc., even if you told him/her you would be later back than usual. Your abuser may question you closely about where you were, whom you spoke to, the content of every conversation you held,

Check out the website below.  If after this you do no believe your boyfriend is like this stand up to him, challenge his behaviour and tell him it is not acceptable and see how he behaves before you become too involved.

Answer 3

He's a control freak and a potential abuser.  Get out of the r/ship because he'll start to alienate you from your friends and family, then the physical and emotional abuse will start.

Answer 4

He's too controlling.  It would be wise to break it off; the sooner the better.  Sad to say so many women confuse this with protection; it's not. He over does wanting you for himself, literally.

Answer 5

"Help."

Sorry, I can't help you with your dysfunctional choice in men.

You obviously agree with this relationship if you're handing over your phone for inspection and answering his calls. Figure out what you're getting out of it, and then ask yourself if it's worth it. Perhaps, for some strange reason, you enjoy the attention. You know what he's doing and you stick around. Please do not play victim when you clearly know better.

Answer 6

Break up with him immediately. But do it with other people nearby. His behavior will only escalate to become even more controlling and paranoid. It will not get better...it will only get worse.

You do not need a person like that in your life.  

Answer 7

okay guys like this are DANGEROUS he will only grow more controlling and more abusive he will never lighten up you need to leave him he is not a good person he treats you like you are a possession that he owns. the sweet and caring side you think you know is an act he uses to keep you from leaving. he will hurt you emotionally and physically. im sorry to come off as mean but he has some serious issues.

Answer 8

Oh, just a tad too jealous. Just a tad.

No, seriously, this is crossing the line into abusive behaviour. You don't deserve to be monitored like some kind of criminal.

Answer 9

You need to raise your standards a bit.

Is he your boyfriend or your warden?  

Answer 10

Your boyfriend is a wicked animal and you should send him to the authoriteis for his demonic behaviour.

I'm speechless at this point and I'm having trouble containing my emotions.

Answer 11

Absolutely.  This is a control issue.  He is sending you great big red flags! Do not ignore them.