Is my dad concience of what an a*****e he is?

Question

I think my problems come down to the fact I have not told my family off

My dad calls me and I go through the routine of being phony, but now I realize what an a*****e he is, when he says stuff like "So are you ever going to come in again" is he saying this to be manipualative, because I never want to see them again

My problem is I havent told my family off years ago, basically because I am a coward

Do you think he is aware of all the damage he caused me in my life, do you think he gives a **** about me?

I get the feeling he doesnt care because if he did he would stop calling me

Answer 1

He's manipulating you because you're manipulating him!  Just tell him that you never want to see him already!  

Tell him to stop calling you and that you are not going back.  He's probably going to ask you why.  Just tell him it's your decision, instead of trying to recall the things he did.  It will spare you the painful memories and spare him the blame and guilt.  Plus, you have a right to make decisions for yourself without making excuses for him.

Also, I think you need a therapist.  Find one in your phone book.

Answer 2

maybe you would talk to him

maybe he does not even realize, that he's doing something wrong

just talk to him

or you can change your number for some time, so you can have like a break, so you will surely know what you exactly want

oh and maybe he's just trying to be good father.. let him be, maybe he needs it more than you need to be far from him

Answer 3

You need to let go of all of the c**p from that past that you are ALLOWING to hold you back and control your life right now. If you don't want to talk to him again, tell him so. And then stop using the past to prevent you from having a decent future. There are too many people who have had horrible childhoods but have grown up to be successful and happy for that to be any kind of excuse.

Answer 4

If he didn't care, why would he call you?  Wouldn't he just wipe you out of his mind?  It's possible he is being manipulative with his calls, but I can't see that from the one you quoted.  You have a bigger problem than your dad.  If your family has damaged you, you need to get some help to undo the damage.  Telling them off will not change anything, except temporarily relieve your anger.  It will take work to really get rid of it.  The longer you go without help, the longer you will remain locked at this level of development.  Don't waste your life!  Get help now!