Is my dad too close for comfort?

Question

Dear people,

Please do not think that my dad is weird by what im about to tell you.

Im 18 and have lived with him for 7 years. Just the two of us. We do get on really well - like flat mates! We evencall each other mate!

But i cant help but think that he treats me like his 'wife'. being a woman and him old fashioned, expecting the woman to clean, cook etc.

He also treats my boyfriend of 2 years disgustingly, even though he has no need to - my bf is a good nice hard working lad. It is like him being jellous!

He did have a girlfriend of 2 years, they seemed ok together - i moved out a year ago for a year, and they stayed together yet not living together, and when i moved back in he broke up with her saying he enjoyed his own space etc. Which i get....

But why the jeloussy with my bf and expecting me to do shopping cooking cleaning etc.

From time to time he can also get a bit close - holding my hand etc. People that know me and him say it is funny that he is sooo close. They find it strange!

What should i do?

Answer 1

This isn't beyond odd behavior or anything but it certainly isn't normal. Just let your dad know that you need your space, and that you want to be treated more like a daughter than his spouse, cleaning, holding hands etc.  

The only way you can avoid this otherwise, is if you were to move out again. Also, let him know that you don't appreciate how you treat his boyfriend. You're dad should accept that you grown up, wait how old are you?, and that you have feelings for this boy. Good luck!

Answer 2

First, you need to sit down and talk to him about this situation.  Tell him you aren't comfortable with the way things are going.

If this doesn't straighten things out....move!

Answer 3

I would put some distance between you and your dad. try not being home all the time and tell him he will have to take care of his dinner. start going to college if its time and tell him you have a lot of homework and can't cook clean and shop. just have a talk with him and tell him you will be happy to help out when you can and keep your room clean but you have to have time for yourself. a father shouldnt be holding your hand like that a hug and some affection is normal but that does sound like he needs some space. tell him he should go out and meet some single ladies. good luck

Answer 4

He's treating you like his wife and you need to set him straight. Don't be so willing to do his cooking and cleaning. Clean your own room, tidy up a bit around the house, but DON"T do it all. The more you do, the more he'll expect.

As for the hand holding, it's ok if it's just a very short time or wanting to hold it while you or he is upset, but I'd discourage anything further. I don't know him, but I just hope you are ok with him. You're his daughter, not his wife or mate.