Is my daughter growing up too fast, or am I just out of touch?

Question

For her 6th birthday next month, she wants her hair "styled" - not cut, but styled, and her ears pierced. She'd also like a dress she's seen in one of the shops "if it isn't being greedy asking for that as well."

I would have thought at her age, clothes and haircuts would all be the same, and would be something we (as her parents) paid for. I'd have expected her instead to have asked for the latest toy or gadget.

As for the earrings, I'd have thought at her age the idea of having holes poked through her ears would be as welcome as a flu shot or bloodwork, and since she spends the week before a shot worrying about it, I hadn't expected this topic to come up until she was a few years older. I also have mixed feelings on this. Ideally, I'd like her to wait until she is older, but on the other hand, she is a girl so it is a sure-fire bet she'll get them done sooner or later, so since she is asking already, is there any point in making her wait?

Answer 1

I  AGREE WITH BOBGOAT

Answer 2

That's up to you. Me personally, I have strong opinions about not letting my daughter get her ears pierced until junior high.  We know plenty of girls (my daughter is 8) who already have pierced ears, though.  Some cultures pierce their daughter's ears when they're infants! I think she should be old enough to take care of her ears, keep them clean and disinfected, and I don't think she's nearly there yet as she's the kind of kid who comes home every day grubby and stained.  But there are other kids who are just naturally disposed  to be careful with their clothes and belongings who do just fine.

My guess with a 6-year-old is that she will probably forget in a week, or if you give her something else for her birthday like the hair styling she will forget about the ears. You might want to turn it into something you two can do together, like going for a mom/daughter manicure or pedicure.

You've got a girly-girl there - that's all it means. :)  At that age it's not about looking better than other girls or trying to get boys! It's about looking pretty for the fun of looking pretty and dressed up.

Answer 3

Getting her ear pierced isn't necessarily a big deal, and i wouldn't let that lead to you thinking she's growing up too fast. A lot of your children want there ears pierced, mostly because a lot of other kids might have it, or have gotten it when they were just babies. Also, Kids don't think about how they get them done, you girl probably is not thinking about the needles shoved through her ear part, or the pain, or the taking care of them.

If you would like her to wait until she is older, its your decision, it wont hurt her either way if she waits. If you wait until she is older though, it might be better, because if she gets them now, she cant take as good as care of them, and they might get infected. So honestly it just matters if YOU feel comfortable with your child getting her ear pierced.

And honestly i just think she's trying to look all cool for her friends, so they can be jealous of what she looks like.

i wouldn't be worried about her growing up too fast.

:]

Answer 4

Wow, thats really fast.  But there really is no point of making her wait because once she becomes a teenager, she will get her ears pierced.

Answer 5

Hm,well I mean she is growing up but she is a kid and is gonna want want want certain things that her age shouldn't be getting.

As for the ears peirced,I mean im not gonna say every little kid gets there ears peirced but it is something alot of kids under the age of 8 are doing,I mean my parents got my ears peirced 24 hours after I was born.So all my life I've had mine peirced.But it is up to you weather you want her to get them I mean there harmless,but if you want her to wait then tell her she needs to wait a while

as for hair cut,I say let her get a tiny style to it,nothing dramastic just something you can tell she did something to it.it'll show her she has other options then the regular trim.

but maybe something you could try is she needs to choose either or.which ever option out of those 3 option does she really want.which ones would she always keep.with ears they can always change up and you can find cute and fun earings.Hair she'd always have to cut and it would be a proccess and she'd have to learn with a style cut she'd have to take care of it every single day no matter what.and if she got that dress she's seen and likes would she wear it alot or on occasion?

so try something like that maybe?

putting thoughts into her head will make her think and if the end result bothers her it make her wait a while longer to get whatever it is

so I hope that helps a little

Answer 6

If she is aware of the pain involved in ear piercing I'd let her do it. I would Howe make her watch some first so she gets the true picture. My grand daughter asked for hers done on her 9th b-day. her mom let her but she watched first and knew even if it hurt she had to sit thru both. i was really surprised she did it as she also hates needles, etc. but she loves them and doesn't regret it.

The dress i'd get as it is her b-day. i guess the hair too. why not? Girls are growing up soo fast these days and i HATE it.

Mine had to start wearing a sports /training bra at 9 or 10 full time. She's now 11 and 5 foot tall and getting a curvey shape. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. i was 12 before i had to wear a bra due to teasing.

Peer pressure is strong at this age and she wants to fit in.It must be the hormones in the beef and chicken.  you have to decide mum, not her. tell her in no uncertain turn that dating come at 14 for group dates only. !6 is as early they can be resoponsible for their acionstrins.

Answer 7

I don't think so, but I could be wrong.

She might see you do your hair for special events or see other girls do their hair for special events, so she might just be trying to mimmick them.

I think she is just going like the whole princess thing (pretty hair, earrings and dresses).

I think you should make the birthday party a princess thing.

So that way you can make this into a "special event", so that way she knows ahead of time that all this dolling up isn't a daily thing.

I don't see why people put an age limit on ear rings. Its hardy  sexual "grown up" thing. Most guys couldn't care about jewelry. Plus, I am 18 and I havent ever thougt oooh if I wear those ear rings, i'll be hot. To me its all clothes and make up.

Answer 8

nah u shouldnt make her wate i got my ears peirced when i was a baby shell just bother u more about it and then have a tantrum and then be mad at u for a lil while so yeah get it done as soon as possible good luck:]

Answer 9

yes there is a point to making her wait. You allow all this too early then she wants more sooner than she should. I would say no too all but the earings

Answer 10

seems a bit early.

Answer 11

it sounds like her friends are raising her more then you are..

Answer 12

I got my ears pierced when i was seven. And if she is only six it sounds like she has been reading a bit to many magazines for asking her hair to be styled not cut. Getting her ears pierced is no big deal. Some kids do it as early as 3, and its not really like a shot. And asking for a dress isn't that bad either. She could ask for a shirt or some shoes and its just her wanting something. Do what ever feels right

Answer 13

It does sound like she is acting a bit older than she should be, but hey this day and age there are worse things a little girl can ask for. my niece is about to turn five and they are growing up sooo fast these days

Just remember to keep talking to her as she grows.

As for the earings I'd say let her go for it, but make sure she knows about it, it will hurt for a while and make sure she knows she will have to clean them. show her some websites about ear peircing. also maybe getting the ears pierced will help her get over the fear of shots or blood work, the hair style does seem a bit much but if you can get her to know that it is only because it is a special occasion i dont see a big problem if there is a beauty school near by they are cheap and do a pretty good job. and so long as the dress is age appropriate.

maybe you can make the hair style and a new dress a birthday tradition?

Answer 14

I think Kindergarten/First Grade is too early for ear piercings - but you will get a lot of different answers on that.  It's your personal decision.  In this day and age, and back in our olden days, fitting in is important to kids.  No matter what you think, it is.  It is important for kids to feel like they fit in. (within reason of course).  If all her friends are getting their ears pierced, your friends kids are, etc., then by all means go ahead and do it, if it really means so much to her.  Point out though that she can only wear studded earrings only, no loops or hanging earrings because those are too dangerous.  Also, does she have older sisters, cousins and such?  If so, they could be rubbing off on your young daughter.  My daughter is 7.  She doesn't have any interest in her hair styled, although she loves it when I trim her hair.  She is way into clothes, which started probably in late Kindergarten.