Is my fiance cheating? Can someone offer some advice?

Question

Can someone please give me some advice, i have been in a relationship with a women 10 years older than me (she's 38 I'm 28) we have been dating for nearly one year, things were great in the beginning however i did notice that she said "i love you" after only one week. she recently moved job and i noticed that she became very distant and her cell phone was always on silent and she would check her phone whenever i got out of the car. we went on holiday and (i know its wrong) i checked her cell phone messages, and there were a number from a guy she works with, he was clearly flirting with her and some of the messages were quite explicit, we had a huge row and she promised me nothing ever happened between them and that he was pestering her. i insisted that she cut all ties with this man however last weekend a text came through from the same guy asking if he could call round to her house, she insisted he didn't even know where she lived. Now in the last 7 weeks she has went to work 3 days and i am wondering if something happened at work between the two of them, he is a married man with 2 kids after all. is she playing around? can someone who has had perhaps a similar experience give me some advice?

Answer 1

You should just sit her down for a long talk about it; no matter what you should atleast figure something out, if you don't clarify the whole thing.

Answer 2

It sounds like office flirting. Did she say how he got her number? If she wanted to get rid of the guy, she'd do so. She could report him harassing her or change her number. Maybe she likes the attention and is going through a crisis and needs attention from any guy. Either way, even if she's innocent, you need to let her have some space. Love is free and if she wants you, she must choose you. You can't force it. If she's playing around, you'll find out once you back off. Give her the ultimateum. Its you or him. Also sounds like she's avoiding him at work by only working 3 days. Good luck.

Answer 3

Leave her she's definately cheating.

Been there.

Answer 4

The fact that she is being evasive is a red flag. In an honest relationship she would have told you that someone was sending messages anyway. I suggest that since there are obviously issues in your relationship that the cheating if it is there is just one of them, the lack of communication and not being straight with each other alone,and her not telling you whats going on is reason enough to dump her. Until you catch her in the act you will never completely know whats going on. But your flags are there so is she really worth it anyway? Life is short dont waste it!

Answer 5

Look you know the truth and the truth will set you free...  Move-on already...  Once she cheated on you it's bound to keep happening.  She doesn't love you if she loving someone else too.  You should be thanking God that you didn't marry her.

Answer 6

Mark, she's not going to give you a straight answer. Rather than having another row, tell her that you want some space and perhaps she'd be happier if you were out of her life. The things she's done are certainly good enough reasons for you to move on. Even if she wasn't cheating, she's certainly not getting rid of that other guy.  

Answer 7

age is irrelevant .. however.. a relationship where you feel the need to snoop... ain't worth being in... move along... it won't be fun to break up, but it ain't' really all that fun to have that gnawing gut feeling of betrayal either is it?

the only way a good relationship will work out in the end is ... TRUST... love, communication, compromise (and chocolate!)  

Answer 8

The fact that she seems sneaky and has explicit messages tells me that your instincts are probably right. Dump her. You can do better.

Answer 9

she's cheating leave her

Answer 10

Sounds like she could at least be flirting with this guy...try to ask her calmly if she has any feelings for him and go from there...Just a flirt is not harmful and could be making her feel good ...

Answer 11

A woman tells me she loves me after one week of knowing me is my que to run....run far far away.

Yeah it's really hard to tell what's going on.  I think you need to collect more evidence, but I would definitely be suspicious of guys leaving lewd messages too.  It would make me wonder what she is doing or saying to merit such things from a married man.  Keep your distance from her until you can prove yourself right or wrong on this.

Answer 12

she's probably messin around with him but since he's  married with kids its obviously not sumone she thinks she can be with in the long run.... so do what u feel u need to do. at the same time ure dead wrong for snoopin in her phone.. seek and u shall find. so handle it playa

Answer 13

She is cheating, sorry dude, I tell you this from experience.  I cheated (YEARS AGO) and it sounds very similar to your situation.  Confront her or leave her, but she is up to no good.  SORRY!    : (  

Answer 14

I know someone that was dumped by his fiance because she thought that he was cheating on her. he was just hanging out with a friend of his, nothing happened between them.

BUT, this seems a little different, if you can get into contact with this man, do so and tell him to back the h**l off

don't give up on your girlfriend(or whatever she is to you)

a relationship IS about trust, tell her all that you told us and tell her that you love her(if you do, i'm sure you do) but say that all of this is making it difficult for you, someone married woulldn't stalk someone for soo long after she had told him to stop

Good luck.

Answer 15

Dude, she is cheating, she is playing you like a fiddle. Don't be a door mat and dump this ho !

Answer 16

I know how the mind can drive you up the wall thinking she is cheating on you. Do you know this guy personally. If you do then confront him. Ask him why a married man is wanting so much to talk to your lady. Or maybe your lady is needing some attention that you may not be giving her and this person is giving her. I knew a guy like your situation and the guy at work made this lady laugh because he was funny. Maybe theres something missing in your relationship that she needs. Dont drive yourself crazy wondering....................Go to the root of it and find out face to face...........

Answer 17

If you suspect her cheating your probably right it sounds like she is. Sorry man.  I cant tell you what else to do.