Is my friendship over? Are we too different to be friends?

Question

We met in junior high and were inseparable (and I mean inseparable) until we had a falling out shortly after high school ended. It was pretty horrible. The reason for our ' break up' was complicated but definitely her decision.

After 3 years of not speaking AT ALL, she wrote me a letter apologizing for everything and I accepted the apology. Since then we have become friends again but it's weird. We have tried to get together but it is super difficult.

I think we are just too different to be friends. She is very active, very sociable and likes to party, go out to clubs etc. I am the opposite. I like to stay home, don't have any other girlfriends really and do not like to party. That being said, I am not an unfun person - I just am more comfortable doing things with her one on one which I don't think is too much to ask considering how often we see each other. When we have hung out we'll do things like do our shopping errands together or just hang out and chat.

I feel like I am a bummer and feel bad about myself when I don't want to go to a bar or hang out with her friends or do yoga after work. I am okay with who I am but I feel bad about myself which I know is something I shouldn't get from having a friendship. I guess the main reason I am reluctant to end the friendship all together is that she really is the only girl friend I have and we go way back. We only see each other every couple months... Is it worth holding on to? Do you think she has had enough as well? Am I the problem? Should I try to be more like her? Any ideas or advice would be appreciated. Thanks

Answer 1

i was once in the same situation so here's my advice...life takes everyone down different paths and they are all unique, but there are always similarities. you two go way back and i think that  it is worth saving the friendship even if you only talk over emails!  so you like to stay in and she likes to go out no big deal there should be somethings that both of you like to do. like suggest camping or a girls movie night where you can stay in and just have girl talk and watch good movies together. but you have to comprimise and do some of the things that she likes as well. if you were close friends before and did everything together than that bond is still there and it is worth saving. i don't think she feels that you are not fun just that you have different opinions of what is fun for you. so talk to her about it see what she thinks and then go from there.