Is my guy being clingy or am i overreacting? i'm so confused....?

Question

so i'm 16 and my guy is 18 and we have been best friends for a year now and liked each other off and on and finally we became an official couple about two months ago...in the very beginning of our romantic relationship i thought it was perfect and we were going to be together forever and he thought the same because he told me it....allllll the time. and i agreed. and he got me a promise ring and everything to promise we will get married (he hasn't given it to me yet because my friend told him to wait; but he did tell me about it). he's always talking about our future and even when we have kids and he threatens to beat up any guy who might like me or who i talk to on the phone other than him. he has told everyone he loves me and i'm THE ONE and we're going to be togehter forever but now all of a sudden i'm not excited for him to come over and sometimes i don't even want him to. i just came back from a week at the beach with my friends and i wasn't even excited to see him when i got home and all week he kept texting me and got upset because i was going to a football game the day i got back without him because he had to work and he didn't want other guys to see me before he did. i don't know what to do....i broke up with my last boyfriend because i thought he was too clingy and the same thing happened...i no longer wanted to see him as often as boyfriends and girlfriends do. (like with both my ex and my current boyfriend we hang out like 3 maybe 4 days a week). my boyfriend is in college now, he just started and is commuting, and he just got a job and he's already complaining how much he misses me....and i really don't know. Is my guy clingy, or am i just overexaggerating and dumb and don't realize what i have? i mean is this a guy most women would die for? i'm scared to break up with him, because he has planned his entire future around me, and after all....i wanted this for sooooo long. what went wrong?

Answer 1

Tell him you need some space, he's suffocating you!!  Don't let anyone pressure you into feeling that you have to go out with them because they need you.  Also, he should DEFINITELY not be making you scared of him!!

Answer 2

well he's older than you, and if he's more mature, its going to be had because its too much too soon. Youve got over the 'honeymoon' phase then gone 'Woah! my whole life??' so try to cool things down a bit. Talk to him and tell him your scared and it seems so much when your only sixteen.

And dont get married until your at least 25. You dont fully mature until 21, and you need time to mature and learn about the world and travel.

I wouldn't consider him 'clingy' just he is older, and even though its only two years, if he is more mature he will be ready to settle down and live his life, while your overwhelmed.

You are only young, so even if you still want to be with him, you can cool it off, so you can grow as a person, not just a couple.

Hope i helped, good luck!

xoxo

Answer 3

This might be one of those self-acclaimed prophecy things.

You had a hunch that he was being clingy, and it put you off him a bit. Then he noticed that you were less interested, so he kept trying to be closer.

And why do you think you should just dump him right away? That's why relationships don't work.

You need to tell him everything you just typed. Tell him that you feel tied down, or that he's being a bit clingy.

If he wants to be with you forever, he should realize that forever hasn't come yet. He needs to realize taht you're NOT married. You're not living together. Yes, you're boyfriend and girlfriend, but it's not anything concrete.

It sounds like he's getting too attached, but only if you don't feel the same way. If you felt the same way, things would be fine.

Tell him that you have other friends and that they're important to you too. Even if he is most important to you, he's not the ONLY important thing, right?

Try not to pick one or the other. Friends or relationship. Try to keep both.

But if you're not happy with him, break it off. Don't feel that you need to be with him. I'm 16 too, and I've only had one boyfriend. Who I still have. Been together for a long, long time.

Answer 4

He sounds sweet and kind of over-protective to me. Maybe you're just going through a little phase. With my boyfriends, sometimes I'll get really bored with them for a little bit but once I wait it out, everything is good again. So, I would suggest that you just stay with him and see if it's just a phase. If you KNOW it's not a phase, then I would talk to him about it or just break up with him. If you break up with him, make sure you two will still be friends.  

Answer 5

If you love him. Stay with him. If you feel no love, leave. He deserves happiness like you. However, now in college he most likely will have less time. But still, at the same, if he is just bugging you now, you don't love him, so leave him.

Answer 6

He's not only clingy, he's jealous and possessive.  Beware.

:: i'm scared to break up with him, because he has planned his entire future around me, and after all....i wanted this for sooooo long. what went wrong?

You can't stay with someone just to please them and/or because they made plans for, ah-hm, YOUR life.

What went wrong is you got to see the real him and he's turned out to not be attractive to you.  Being clingy, needy and desperate are not attractive.