Is my husband a habitual liar or just too obsessed?

Question

The first time I asked this, it got deleted, the second time, not ONE answer...plz help!

My husband is a firefighter and in very good shape. He is kinda short, about 5'7, and around 170lbs. [all muscle] He is obbsessed with working out, whether its at home or gym, he has to 'pump iron' everyday! Well I have always been big on not using alot of "help" whereas he wants to use Protien, Creatine, and anything he can get his hands on. He even used illegal steriods at one point!! Well protien is ok, its natural [sometimes] and made to help his muscles recover, at least thats what he told me. Recently , just as a gift, I bought him a pretty strong supplement, Creadex cuz he had been listening to me and not going out and spending hundreds on work out pills and powders. Well he was looking for his keys this morning and i asked if he had looked in his bag, he said "yes, 100 % they're not in there..umm..look here instead." So I got kinda suspicous and I looked in his bag, there was Hydrocycut... the fat burner. thats the LAST thing he needs, and he knows it. He never told me about taking them, they were MINE, and he knows i don't want him using a fat burner. This all may sound stupid, but its a big deal to me, he LIED once again about taking pills. He constantly lies to me, mostly about little things. I'm not sure what to do. Why does he HAVE to take work-out pills and powders, even if he knows it cause problems between us. He is already in incredible shape, better than all the other firefighters, why does he lie about it?

I'm not controlling him, he used whatever he wanted before and even some bad stuff, and lied to me about using illegal roids, and when he wanted to spend his whole paycheck on stupid pills, I knew it was time to say something. So I did, and now he obviously gets stuff and doesn't tell me.. and thats just wrong in my eyes.

What do I do?

Answer 1

Find a male relative to find his training friends for advice. Eventually, if he is doing something unsafe, his friends will advise him.

Answer 2

You need the assistance of a marriage and family counselor to help you through this. If your husband refuses to go, go on your own to get some ideas about how to proceed. Separation/divorce may not be on the table now, but if he is willing to withhold truths about his spending and health with you, he isn't in a position to be in a marriage--which depends upon complete trust and honesty between partners in order to last "illness and in health".

Answer 3

dang... stealing? lying?

You may seem alittle controling, but I get where you are coming from.

You obviously caught him in this lie before and now you are stuck in it again.

Once, shame on you Twice, Shame on me.

You can have another serious talk with him but if he doesn't straighten up. get rid of him.

P.S. - Hydrocycut has an ingredent in it that shows up on drug tests.

Answer 4

It sounds like he has some serious body image issues. It may be due to his height. What he lacks in height, he's making up for in muscle.

I do think he is obsessed and somewhat compulsive. In terms of the powders, pills, etc. I would try to find an agreement on a couple that you think aren't too bad for him. (Hydroxycut isn't that bad for him).

I do think you need to draw a very serious line with the lying though. I'd make that very clear. Even if he thinks it's a white lie, it's not.

EDIT - In terms of dealing with his dishonesty, I would confront him and possibly give him an ultimatum. Let him know the seriousness of him hiding these things from you. (and stealing, in the case of the Hydroxycut). Let him know that these lies about "little things" are affecting how much you trust him as a person and a husband. Without trust and honesty, your relationship probably won't last. If it's stealing pills and lying about workout habits now, what could it become later?

If you want to be rigid about it, do a check of his bag and things randomly, like a random drug test. If he opposes, tell him this is what he has caused with his dishonesty. Or throw that idea out to him and then say that it is sad that you may have to take meaures along the lines of treating him like a child because he can't be open and honest with you like an adult.

A solution probably won't be easy and he will most likely put up a fight or try to become more secretive until he gets the big picture. Make sure you're also listening to him and understanding his needs as being extremely fit is clearly very important to him. Try not to overcontrol the situation so he can feel comfortable being honest with you. If you just snap every time, he'll hide more and more from you.

Best of luck!!