Is my husband leaving me??

Question

My husband and I got into an argument about week ago. He has been staying out late every night (between 10pm and 4am). He says that he is helping his cousin fix up her house, or watching her, kids, or something along those lines. But I haven't been buying it. At fist I didn't think anything of this, but he's been over there everyday straight from work until late at night. Every time I said anything to him through out this time...I would joke about him coming home late (hoping he would take the hint). I would ask if I could go with him the next time he went to his cousin's house (its not like I haven't been there before). But there was always an excuse as of why I couldn't or shouldn't go. The past three weeks I had been working two jobs, and I finally found a job that will give me more money for less hours, but of course they have sent me away for four weeks for training (i get to come home on weekends). Before I left....over the weekend.....I got really upset that he came home late ....again...and this time....I blew up. I couldn't take it anymore...I asked him if he was cheating on me....(he said no)....I asked his if he was unhappy with me (he said he didn't know)....That's when I lost it....I couldn't believe he wasn't happy....not just that....but he never said that he wasn't happy...he just left. I tried to get him to tell me why...what have I done...and he told me that I've changed....in this one year....my father died (5 weeks after our wedding)....I had a miscarriage.....I lost my job....and we had his friend and their family move in with us. Yes! Everything has changed...Well needless to say he left the next day...and didn't come back. I rented a car for my training...so I drove to his cousin's house....at about 2am....and he was there.....we talked for a while, but he was still upset with me. He came back home around 6am ...an hour before I was supposed to leave for my business training....of course we "made up" or atleast I thought we did. I've been away since Monday, and today is thursday/friday...I have not talked to or seen my husband. I called hime once and he was...of course at his cousin's house at 1am....he told me that he had taken her to a 24 hour supermarket to get food. When I asked him if we could talk ....he said he didn't want to talk to me at that moment. I haven't heard from him since. I am home at 12am and he has still not come home, and he left his phone here at home. We have been married for almost a year...our anniversary is next week. I'm going crazy...what is going on?? Not to mention I'm pregnant....now I'm really worried about this family that I thought we were building, and now we are falling apart :( I don't know what to do....I've written him letters...spoke to him at calm times about our feelings....asked him straight out...and have had full blown arugments...well I yelled and he just ignored me. HELP!

Answer 1

I am sorry.  Ouch.  Ouch.  Ouch.  He's trying to justify leaving you by being an ***, or force you to leave him. Just go ahead and leave him--but make sure you take steps to protect yourself. Get copies of all the financial information.  Make sure your budget is set.  Keep a diary of his f-ups, and be still and calm.  See an attorney.  Then do yoga.    

I knew my marriage was in trouble when my husband did not acknowledge my birthday, mother's day and anniversary.  I know, stupid huh?  If he does nothing for your anniversary, you know what the deal is.

Answer 2

kissing cousins.  

Answer 3

either he is into the whole incest thing with his cousin, or he's cheating. either one. sounds like a real jerk off. forget him, and kick his incest *** out of your house.

Answer 4

First, you have my condolenscense. It sounds really complex and hurtful. I remember when my husband told me he was unhappy. Turns out it was just an excuse for his affair. Not that this applies to you. But I do know the feeling of questioning why, what did I do, is something wrong...etc. I really think your spouse has a lot of pressure, with the two jobs you have, baby on the way, new marriage. And to tell the truth you did not give your newly marriage a good leap, by jumpin into the workforce. You seem not to have enough attention to give to your husband. And if this is what he's feeling, overwhelmed by dealing with your busy life, I wouldn't be surprise if he went outside home looking for an understandin companion. But it does seem like he's is at the cousin house like he claim. But doesn't mean there's not room for him to be sliding in and out the cousin house. Technically, you have no buisness working outside home so much and he has no buisness sleepin outside home like that. Both ya'll need to get back home and start working on the marriage.

Answer 5

wow.  you can't have the marriage alone.  For whatever reason...immaturity, cowardice...this man is not marriage material right now and not for you.

Time to consult a lawyer, sit down and talk with him and proceed.  This is someone who is acting VERY young.  It's not fair to you.  You deserve better and you can do better.  Please don't stay in this mess.  It will only get worse and you will have wasted so much time with him.

Don't you think you deserve someone that will be there with you in a marriage?  Good luck and PRAY.