Is my man A freeloader?

Question

I have been living with a man for 3 yrs he never yells,and says sweet things to me often,the s*x is amazing..I make more money then he does but we both work full time.he puts in about a quater the money i do for household bills and other expensives..I have had to ask him for money many times which i hate and lose respect for him for having to..he often says he will pay for something but doesnt usually come through

I have 2 kids that live with me he has no kids should i pay more because i have the kids? also he is a slob!!!!! and gets upset at my kids for not cleaning everyday,and he cleans nothing.ever

Answer 1

Well he certainly could do more but hey....amazing s*x makes up for it lol.

Answer 2

Hun...if you are finding all these faults about him, you probably don't luv him. He may be there for your mutual convenience. My sister was in a similar situation. He sponged off of her and still is 15 years later...not married...not committed...greax sx and all that. It works as long as you want it to work. She's sick of it but afraid she will wind up alone. She drop dead gorgeous and could do much better. I say...dump this guy...you probably can do better!

Answer 3

Yes, I think he is a freeloader.  Even though he makes less he could do more around the house and shouldn't expect your kids to clean every day.  They should help but  he should take responsibility and help around the house and support you in other ways.  You shouldn't have to ask him for money,

If he cares about you and your kids he should make the effort without you having to ask him.

Answer 4

he may not be a free loader just lazy. you should only pay a little more because you have kids. when he got with you he knew about the kids so he knew that he has a responsibility to as long as he lives there. Tell him to get off his *** and clean something himself for once. dont dump him if you think hes a great guy.

Answer 5

I THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE A REAL HEART TO HEART TALK WITH HIM,YOUR KIDS SHOULD NOT HAVE TO CLEAN UNLESS YOU ASK THEM TO DO CERTAIN THINGS,AND HE SHOULD HELP CLEAN,CAUSE YOU R MAKING MORE MONEY THAN HIM ITS SAD WHEN A MAN  MOVES IN KNOWING YOU HAVE KIDS THEN STARTS BLAMING THEM FOR THINGS HE SHOULD DO,,HIS GIVING EXCUSES ,THAT WILL ALLWAYS BLAME THE KIDS,HE GOT WITH YOU AS YOUR BF NOT SO YOU CAN BECOME HIS MOTHER,YOU HAVE TWO CHILDREN TO RAISE,,AND IF HE PUTS MORE RESPONISABILTY ON YOU THEN ITS TIME YOU N HIM HAVE A TALK..PEACE

Answer 6

whats yours is his and whats his is ......well his where does his money go then sounds like hes got an easy ride there girl.he may be unwilling to pay for someone elses kids but he should be helping out when you ask ulness your not playing fair either

Answer 7

yall should be equal with the spending since you have more responsibilites with the kids, and you get paid more, but i dont think hes a freeloader, a freeloader is someone who lives off another person and they have no job, and no incoming money, and not trying to do anything to make money

Answer 8

A real man steps up to the plate in his home and in his commitment to his commitment to his "family".  Even though he makes less financially...he could be picking up the slack in many other areas.  You can discuss it with him but if he's set in his ways you cannot change him.  Being unhappy and stressed out affects not only the relationship between you and him but between you and your children too.  What you choose to do is up to you, but  whatever you decide keep in mind he's not the only man who knows his way around a bedroom.

Answer 9

You just answered your question.

And the one you're too scared to ask.

Yes.

DUMP THE FREELOADER.

You can do BAD all by yourself.  You don't need some freeloading lazy-assed s.o.b. around bossing your kids and not even buying his own toilet paper.

Answer 10

FREELOADER BIG TIME!

I'm a little old fashion, but who cares I've learned from my own mistakes.

He should at least be paying 1/2 of everything!

He probley doesn't feel that he needs to but just because you get money from child support or whatever.

Hes a loser give him the boot!

Tell me how having a lazy example of a man around your children helps them.

It doesn't!

So, hes nice to you but that doesn't make him a good stepfather.

Give him the boot trust me he will ruin your credit then just find someone else to mooch of.

1.Let me guess you have everything in your name.

2.You likely had or got your place yourself.

3.You make all the Major purchases in your name.

4.His credit is bad, it huge clue hes a loser!

5.Mad at the kids for being clean, please this man is in it for the good s*x:)

6.( Your alot younger than him, right at least by 3 years! lol)

Answer 11

Just because you have children and he does not doesn't mean that he shouldn't have to pay at least half of the bills.  I wouldn't call him a free loader but i would definitely start laying down the law a little better!  You shouldn't have to ask him for money he should just do it out of the respect he should have for you.  A nice man is hard to come by and he seems pretty cool but i would definitely talk to him about pitching in a little more dough.

Answer 12

i have lived with my bf for about 2 yrs and even before we moved in together everything was 50/50.  he pays half the bills and i pay the other half.  it's fair and simple.

Answer 13

wow this sounds just like the program i saw on tv, the EXACT scenario which tried to be resurrected by the nanny etc.

the thing about guys is they are predictable (i think so anyway) they have a tendancy to grow lethargic and loose passion for everything..

he may have been better to begin with, or may have been just the same, but his skin deep characteristics are the ones which attracted to you in the first place, but now the more important characteristics which were never prominent to begin with are letting you down.

he may love you, but he may also love what you have to offer and its consuming him.. but remember, in this modern age, it seems just as kosher the women wearing the pants and earning the money, which ISNT the reason why your losing respect for him believe me, its just the lack of effort hes putting in, not what hes earning, and hes used to you taking care of things so feels like he doesnt really need to put in the effort..

so in effect, youve let him get sloppy. its not your fault but it happens due to heirachy and lack of communication, i.e. if your scared to bring up this topic with him (which believe me you shouldnt be)  then its never gonna get better.

you need to tell him to stop ordering your kids around until he has earnt the right to, i.e. until he starts taking some responsibility for himself. I am ever so strict about this, i dont let my flatmate get away with missing out on a single task, and its a PAIN IN THE BUTT, yet some guys just wont get it done on their own accord..

when dating you can pick up on these characteristics when exposing him to different scenarios, getting to know him better.. if hes paying a 1/4 of houshold related tasks then he should be putting SO much more effort into making everyones lifes easier, helping out as much as possible, and being proactive. these are the sorts of things your losing respect for, NOT the fact that hes earning less than you, relationships only get materialistic when theres a deeper problem.

if it keeps up, you  should keep bringing it up and make him come to terms with how unfair it is, and that you feel you deserve better, and consider pulling the plug. it will only get worse of he doesnt click and start acting more grown up..

so there you are, a nutshell of the action you should consider. =] COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO ANY GOOD RELATIONSHIP.

too many people are jumping into serious relationships whilst disregarding gut feelings or knowing when somethings wrong and ignoring it.

whoops forgot to submit.. anyway, just dont let him walk all over you, it is a serious issue and its taken to lightly in our society, dont be settle with what you know could be so much better. try to make him change, or try to make him see you tried but now youve had it

goodluck ^^