Is my mom just getting old or am I a really a bad parent?

Question

My mom really does help me out a lot. My grandma owns a preschool that my mom runs and my husband takes my daughter (3yrs) to school every morning and my mom drops her off at home around 10 am everyday. I run a home daycare and last year my daughter was diagnosed with Autism so I have the perfect job for her (& my son (2) is in therapy too total 6 hours a day) therapy. Once or twice a month (Friday or Saturday) my husband and I will pay my sister to come over after the kids have gone to sleep to babysit while we go out to dinner or see friends. We stopped asking mom to babysit because she started to complain that she was doing too much for us. Now she is saying that we are doing too much and should spend more time with the kids. I am home with the kids all day and night, weekends we are at the park, Disneyland, beach, swimming with the kids. Are we bad parents for getting a night to take a deep breath here and there or does she just need someone to criticize?

Answer 1

Personally, I would need a break every once in a while too if I had a daycare.  You are home all day with you child, while other people are working away from the home, so even there you are home more then alot of mothers, me included.  I see nothing wrong with going out to spend time with your husband and friends. This gives you a bit of a reboot for the week.  And you are waiting till your children are asleep, what are you supposed to do to spend more time with your children while they are sleeping. Stand over them and stare?

So I don't think you are bad parents, everybody needs grown up time. Enjoy and don't worry so much.

Answer 2

Well I agree that you need to be with your children because kids spell love TIME but at the same time you also have to spend time to nurture your marriage.  When the kids are gone to college are you and your husband going to still be close?  I think there needs to be a balance but going out on dates is a VERY good thing to do.  GOD BLESS!

Answer 3

You should spend time with your kids, and it sounds like you do. Parents need a night off, and that's okay. I think that your mother is just stressed out, and needs someone to take it out on. Having a baby with autism is hard, and it's okay to just relax and let someone else take care of them for a while. You're not a bad parent, your a normal parent who needs a break, just like every other mother and father out there.

Answer 4

my mum and dad have always said to me "a happy parent makes happy children" and I believe this I have a 6 month old and have been going to the gym 3 times a week once he is with my husband after he comes home from work one morning with his nana and one more at the creche. I need my alone time and when I get back I am a much better mummy and we have loads more fun. also husband and wife need time together so they don't forget why they fell in love. I think you are doing great!!

being a mum now IS Different from 20 - 30 -40 years ago.  

My mum looks after my niece two days a week and she tells me how proud she is on me and my sister in law as mums and my hubby and brother as dads!!!

good luck I hope she understand were you are coming from and stops passing judgement