Is my mother getting old?

Question

Her 'up' time is when my older bro was 16. Now I'm 18 and its been eight years. She's 51, but acts 72. She's been very tired lately. I can feel it. Really - for real. She still has my 13 bro and divorced alone always working as RN. What can I do? I get scholarships for school and am independent. It's just me moving out next year- we're all really tired. Plus my grandmother has cancer and going to die - her mother.

Answer 1

First of all she needs to kick her oldest son out of the house.  He is a bum.  Partying and has no job and no money and not contributing or making a contribution to the family.   If you can see how tired your mother is surely he should be able to.

Your mother needs to go have a check up and see why she is so tired.  Maybe she just need to take some good vitamins but there could be something else wrong.  51 is not old.  Nursing is hard work for you are on your feet so much.

She needs to have tough love on your oldest brother and tell him if he is not contributing to the well fare of the family then he has to go.  And make him leave.  Don't let him talk her out of it.  It will be for his own good and may be a wake up call as to how he has messed his life up and will get back on the right track.  Blessings  

Answer 2

Of course shes getting older every day.Your bro needs to MOVE out and take care of his self!!  

Jeeze help her! Tell your bros to HELP!

Answer 3

Your mom is probably starting menopause and that is not a really great time for any woman. You start realizing that you are not young anymore and may feel that what you have at this very moment is as good as it is going to get in this life. She may feel that she is used up and wondering if she has been successful at any of the important things in life ie: marriage, raising independent children,her career, and the thought of caring for one more needy person who is not going to get well is overwhelming for anyone.

. You could do laundry and dishes. The focus should be about taking some of the load off this woman. It is time to have a sit down with your brothers and begin handling some of the load on a reliable basis. That means that if your older brother has not yet found a job, it is his responsibility to help clean up the house and to have dinner prepared when mom gets home. Little brother can take out trash and feed pets, and do yard work and all of you can schedual at least one evening a week where no other activity takes place other than "family time" That might have to revolve around some good T.V. shows at first and as time goes on around scrabble or other things . Try to talk about funny things you have seen at school or even talk about something you remember from when you were a kid. Get her talking about her own childhood and how she met her first boyfriend. The focus should be on this woman who is always listening to other peoples complaints. Write those stories down so you have a written record of what she told you and so there is a natural flow to the story. Ask her about her favorite color, where she went to elementary school, if she had a favorite book growing up. She will feel like her value is bigger in your lives and she will feel better about herself. You will know that you are doing something for her and for yourself. The weight of life is heavy. and all of us are fighting a battle, every day. Your brother who is now an adult should also be contributing to his own living expenses and paying for his own food and the costs of being an adult. Everyone is going to need to work on this together because your mother is going to crumble if you don't and then you will all be in serious trouble.  

Answer 4

Your up time is sooooooo sweet. Your concern for your family is to be treasured.  Sounds like you work hard to help, but your brother is a free-loader and shouldn't even be able to 'use' the house (& i'LL bet he eats what he wants to too.)  You didn't say who pays the rent/mortgage..? Whoever doesn't pay (contribute to it) shouldn't be allowed to sleep or eat there.

Your mom SHOULD be tired...my God! But, sweetie, she can recoup.  I did from a terrible family tragedy. It only took 2 weeks.  Falling in love helped speed the process up, but without it, it might have taken a month!! ;o)  

For now, you could treat your mom to something silly but nice.  Like having her nails done and given a Pedicure.  Treat her. She's a "Caregiver"...and so are you it seems.  God will Bless you both!  Always remember to say this, "THIS TOO,SHALL PASS"...because it will, sooner than you thought it would too!