Is my mother-in-law right?

Question

My mother-in-law says I have to put my daughter down because she(my daughter) gets tired of being held. That she needs to lie down flat and not be bothered for a few hours. She says I need to let her lie down by herself because her body can't handle being held all the time. I keep having my doubts but I don't know. She's not the only one that says that. My daughter is 2 months old now.

Answer 1

Her body can handle it, but its good to let them have tummy time they do a lot of learning on their tummies.  They learn to hold themselves up and reach for things.  In the future it will be less stress on you because she wont be so attached.  You can put her down for a few minutes and do small things around the house with out her screaming for attention.  

Answer 2

I think your mother in law is wrong. Babies feel safe when they are being held, they are not like a toddler and just get tired of it and want their space. 2 short months ago she was cradled in your womb, that is what she is used to. Despite what everyone says, you can not spoil a baby and even if you can, you only have ONE chance to do it! Your daughter will only be a baby for a short time and then its over forever. She wont WANT to be held and all you will want to do is hold her. If she is not fussy and you are fine, hold your baby!

I have to throw this in too (I just read everyone else's comments)... I highly doubt you are holding her every second of every day. I am sure you put her down in her crib or bassinet or put her on the floor for tummy time. But what else are you going to do with the other 23 hours? Someone said something about they will get used to being rocked to sleep... I rocked my daughter to sleep every night till she was 15 months old and I loved it. It was our time alone, after a hard day, just to cuddle and bond. NOW She is a very independent 2.5 year old.

Answer 3

You really do need to put her down. Maybe like 30 mins at a time. She needs to know that she can do things for her self and not you help all the time. I know what you are going through. I hated to put my daughter down. All I wanted to do was hold her but the doc's told me that she needed her baby time. So I did.....She will be ok if you put her down.

Answer 4

babies do need alone time. they can be very easily over stimulated

Answer 5

You don't have to hold her all the time.  They need to lie flat and be allowed to develop their own muscles. They squirm and twist around and finally  manage to turn over, etc.  They learn to pull themselves up and strengthen their muscles.  If you are holding her all the time, you are impedeing her ability to do this.

Answer 6

I think thats a load of bull to be honest, If your daughter was annoyed with being held, Dont you think she would let you know about it. Babies love to be held, They feel secure, safe and loved, Mother-in-laws (and mothers) tend to push there opinions and parenting skills upon people, My mother does it. I just dont listen anymore, Do what you think is best for your child, You know your baby a million times better than she does.  

Answer 7

If your daughter wants down then put her down, those people are crazy.

Your daughter was carried in you for 9 months (give or take) and now shes in the outside world, of course it's ok to hold her as long as she's fine with it.

We held our daughter all the time until she learned to crawl.

Answer 8

Sorry to say it but i think your mother in law is right. It is good to let your baby lie down sometimes. its especially important for her to have 'tummy time'. it helps strengthen her muscles so she can hold up her head by herself and her arms and legs so she'll learn to roll over and crawl  

Answer 9

she wrong babies dont get tired of being held she will love being close to you because ur smell and ur heart beat , she sounds jealous, and is trying to be controlling dont let her start otherwise u'l get this all through raising your kids stick to your instincts a child cannot be spoiled at this age.

Answer 10

I personally don't know if that's true or not...but, I didn't listen to it and my daughter is fine.

Answer 11

its not very good to hold ur baby all the time but the ONLY reason is because ur baby can get spoiled... and there is NO phisical need for ur baby to not be held... thats just rediculous!! if u wanna still be close to ur baby (as i did) but her on her tummy for "tummy time" and sit/lay there w/ her... hope to have helped

Answer 12

well at first it is okay. but you can't pick your baby up every time it cries because then it will realize evertime it cries you will come to her and she will get what she wants. you definatly don't want a toddler that thinks you will give her whatever she wants. there is a big chance your daughter cna become bratty when she's older if you keep picking her up everytime she cries.

Answer 13

At that age you really cant hold them too much but it is good to allow them sometime to be alone and get used to doing things on their own in their own way and on their own time...they need to be able to learn to stimulate themselves...not to mention you need the break!!

Its ok to put your baby down - in fact its good for them and for you!!!

She is right - I dont know about a couple of hours I dont think I ever left my 2 month old for a couple of hours unless she was asleep, talk to your doctor about the length of time!

~D~

Answer 14

do what you think is right in your heart. if you want to hold your baby, then hold her. you cannopt listen to everything you hear-you WILL go crazy.

i personally, have never heard of that, and i had a very overbearing mother in law.

i just read an article in baby talk. it said that you should pick your child up anytime he/she cries, becuase right now, it is for a reason. she needs fed, diapered, or just plain needs held.

do you let her nap for 2-3 hours in your arms? that might be a little much, but for you, not her.if you put her in her crib/bassinet or your bed for naps you are putting her down.

the only thing i have heard is that this is a good time to introduce tummy time. 1-2 min per day about 2x a day. put her on her belly and hold a toy up so she can build her neck muscles. it is also good for her to sit in her bouncer or swing and look at colorful toys & music. -i have never heard of an adult knowing that a 2 month old baby knows that she is too tired of being held, or that it has anything to do with her body not being able to handle it.

i think mom-in law wants to control something. im on #3 and couldn't put my children down except for the things listed above. i just had to hold them. it made ME feel better.

btw- the magazine said also not to worry about spoiling the baby when they are this young (by holding) them, becuase the baby cannot differentiate between what he/she needs as opposed to im gonna cry because ill be picked up-they said that doesn't start until 5-6 months. it actually says that studies have shown that the child will be less clingy and more self-confident . the issue is from june 2008, it think. i just read it this morning. i was interested in this becuase i was extremely worried about my kids being spoiled. so i always asked my doc, and he said the same thing. i never had any problems.

Answer 15

that's a load of c**p.  in other countries people wear their babies 24 hrs a day.  trust your instincts.  is she acting crabby, restless, etc?  i personally wouldn't want to hold my baby all the time.  i needed breaks and put him to sleep in his crib for my own sanity but if you love holding your baby, keep it up.  they're only babies once.  

Answer 16

NO she is completely wrong becuase with my 2 boys i held them all the time and they had no problem actually i dont think i put them down until they were 6/7 months they are now 25 months and 13 months and it is just nice knowing how much i love them and i think holding them makes them feel loved so dont un love them!!

Answer 17

Hi ..i do not  know how true/false it is.

But .. its good not to keep holding the baby forever .. as then the babies develop a habit of  being rocked to sleep or always being in  arms of someone.

Your mom in law is experienced she might be correct.

Answer 18

I don't know about that but I do know that I needed a break and would put my daughter down for a bit. Especially at two months. It's good for her to learn to entertain herself. It'll also make it easier on you when she starts to get bigger. My baby's 20 pounds now and if she needed to be held all the time, I would need to see a chiropractor every day. But it's your baby. Do what you think is best.

Answer 19

You should lay her down. They call it tummy time, this is how she will develope strength in her neck and start picking her head up and looking around.