Is my mother manipulative?

Question

i am a 29 years old woman living away from my 59 years old abusive mother, she was physically and verbally abusvie all my life (putting me down on a daily basis). 5 years ago my dad died (due to stress of living with her), she wanted me and my sister do everything for her yet she is never happy. 3 months ago i have got a new job and I called her to tell her the good news, to my surprise, she wasn't happy for me, she told me that 'there is nothing to be happy about', after that i stopped calling her, now she asks everyone to ask me to call her, yet she wouldn't call me, only waiting me to call first. My questions is why did she wait for me to call first? whats the big deal about this?

Answer 1

Simple. She wants you and your sister waiting on her hand and foot. She can't be happy that you have your own life, and are doing your own thing, and are happy despite her.

Don't call her. Let her stew in her own misery for a bit longer. It might force her to get professional help for her issues, rather than take them out on her children.  

Answer 2

your mom just thinks that the world revolves around her. I think it's about time you give her a reality check.

Answer 3

My mother is jst like that n done them things to me

its all about control i find! she makin a big deal out of it prob coz she wants a reaction people like that feed off ur pain/confusion/ect

Answer 4

she needs to grow up

Answer 5

my problem is quite similar to yours

ithink ur mom is either very homely or just opposite of it.

She wants attraction towards her.

Just ax her to b mature.

Answer 6

She's just putting you on a big guilt trip - I bet when you do phone, all you get are "Oh, it's been so quiet here / I've not heard from anyone in ages / not been out for days", that kind of thing.

Sometimes even though these people are family, there comes a point when enough is enough.  Do the obligatory once a week phone call but I wouldn't stress myself beyond that.  If she does make a comment about the lack of phonecalls, say that "Phonelines do work both ways y'know".  

Answer 7

your mom is a s!ut. she takes it in the butt.

Answer 8

I hate to say this but your doing the right thing in staying away from her. You've decided not to let her control you anymore, and control freaks don't like that. Do what your doing. Stay clear. If shes misrable, that has nothing to do with you. She probally wants to blame everything and everyone on her being misrable, when it's up to her and nobody else to fix it. It's not up to you and your other siblings to make her happy. I would stay away. And if you do end up talking, then let her know you won't have anymore dealings with her until she gets some help. STAY STRONG!!!!!!!!!