Is my mother psychotic, ptsd, or just cruel and abusive?

Question

Here are 2 emails she sent me after a very troubling fight with her. she was acting very crazy and really upset my sister. It was extremely intense. Abusive behavior we have been dealing with for many years. I think my sister and i have had enough and have decided to separate ourselves from our mother. It's very sad because she has been in therapy for many years and on medication. Apparently, she was abused when she was a child but became the abuser too. she has a hard time admitting to it and blames us for her problems. Apparently, she had never told her therapists about the abuse she inflicted on us or my father. My father divorced her many years ago and she flipped out and beat the **** out of my father and threatened to kill us kids to get back at him. We thought it was getting better but this last incident was one of the worse I have seen in quite some time. She acts extremely paranoid and makes up things almost delusional. She claims to have ptsd but does this cause a person to act so evil? Feel free to give me some feedback.

Well, as usual you came here to see what you could upset and how you could cause ill feelings. I'm used to it now. You have been this way most of your life. You spoke with Richard supposedly to find out more about PTSD. Actually all you wanted was to use the knowlege againt me and make me the big bad mommy. Atempt to make me have a dissociative rage by harrassing me into an argument. And taking the info to your father was a sure sign you aren't in my corner. He said it was something a 9 year old would do if he wants rewards. I think your "reward" was the thrill you get from emotional outbursts. But what does Daddy get out of it??????????? WHY would he listen to it???????? Because he CARES???????? No. It's to again brain wash all of you that Mommy caused all the problems.I'm not supposed to talk about the past and yet that's where you and kim go. Children who love and respect their parent don't attempt to terrorize them by telling them they are "evil, bad mothers." Well, you yanked my chain tonight and got a lot of pay dirt I had hidden inside and God, when it came out vile or not vile, it was the truth and it felt great. It's like my voice came back and I didn't cringe in the corner under your barrage this time. Nor will I ever again because that need, that almost desparate need I had to be "MOM" and make no mistakes so you would find me "good" and love me......well, it's dead. The PTSD IS better, even without the loving support of family. Well, now that I have been assured that this is indeed a sick scenerio I am ready to move on and quit mourning the loss. I was better off without being the MOM you thought I should be. So, c**p on, **** on some other people, use intimidation on Josh, your boss if there is to be one. Just don't ever call me whinning again about losing your aprtment and job. I am not responsible for you s******g up. I am done. Grow up. So long.

I have sent your email back to you without reading it. I do not wish to ever hear from you again. If anyone is evil it is you and I want nothing of you ever again. You both are out of the Will, Kim is legally nothing to me, she cannot act, speak or **** on behalf of me now or ever. And if either of you even try to contact my doctors again, my finance manager or anyone else I'll have you thrown in jail. As for your dad, he'll just have to use someone else to brainwash and use. He was a useless piece of c**p when I met him and he now has 2 adult "kids" all to himself that he didn't even want to be responsible for back then. In fact Tom tried to get him to take care of you 20 years ago and he told Tom he was "too young" to be a father" He didn't want you or Kim. He took you to avoid paying ME child support. SRS has proof I was there, trying to get you out of that fun house he put you in but was told it was too late. Yet KIM told me I ws the one not there for her. You see how he screwed you 2 up? He's the hero, the lieing a*****e. I asked Rich about what you said in your email about me being delusional, narcissistic, abusive and paranoid and he said ""No Edie, you are obviously the only one in your family who isn't and I refuse to see your son again."And the narcissistic is you, Jason. So if you don't get it I'll say it again. YOU AND HER ARE OUT OF MY LIFE. FOR THESE TWENTY YEARS I TRIED TO BE THE MOTHER I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED. Well, I'm done. I don't give a dam anymore what you think of me. I am just glad to know I did my best but knew some day I would have to tell you both to go to h**l if ever I would be at peace. That day has come. No more Mom. Now YOU live with because you and Kim pushed me to the point that I can honestly say, my god, it's a relief to have them out of my life. Oh, and if you think you can proove me incompetent based on your little trechery, let me tell you I called my friends and let them know I knew all to well in my gut you and Kim were up to something before I ever went in that house. You've pulled this enough, for years, that I just know it will happen. And all my doctors plus half the staff at Veridian will be glad to go to court in defense of my sanity. I will not accept another one of your abusive words. You are out.

Answer 1

Tell your mother :

"You are our mother and we love and care for you.Until you are able to come to grips with the c**p you have done to us your own family and the wrong you have inflicted on us, and be willing to own up to it, take responsibility for it,and be accountable for it then you will never get any better and we do not want you in our lives if you are going to continue to be abusive towards us".

She is selfish and self centered hon,she is alsounwilling to see herself as she really is but blames everyone else for HER choices and behaviors.

I am sure the abuse she went through had an impact on her and I could understand her behavior if she was in her teens or twenties.However she is old enought o know better.She needs to quit making her childhood the center of her life and reasonfor her behavior and get over it and become a decent human being.If she insists on continuing her bad behavior,cut off all contact.Tell her to get off the drugs they didn't help her and to start being honest with herself and GOD and HE will do more for her than all her doctors have ever done.The United Pentecostal church is a good one for her.

Answer 2

If you know your mom is mentally ill why do you post her emails on line like that? Is it to embarrass her and make you look better? It doesn't! You may be a victim of her abuse but you are no better acting than she is when you do something like this. Stop it now. Just leave her alone and get the help you need to heal yourself. Let her take care of her own problems. She doesn't want to talk to you.. she made that clear. When someone hurts you as badly as she has hurt you apparently.. the way to get back at them is not to show the world what an a$$ they are.. it also shows the world.. that you are one as well.  But the way to get back at them is to do better in your life than they have and not repeat their mistakes.  

Answer 3

I really didn't read all of your Mom's emails. Your Mom has a problem and she's broken. You have the accept the reality that all adult children eventually have to accept - we cannot fix Mommy or Daddy. We cannot heal other adults. So, you are an adult now and it's time to move on. Your Mother is sick and has issues. She needs help and its sad that she was abused. But who cares is she has PSTD or whatever. Whatever you label it, she's crazy. Also, you will need to get away from her. You and your sister need to start your own healing process and cut off communication with your Mother. This is hard, but must be done. Your Mother is not in any good mental place to have a positive, healthy relationship with you; she might never be. Also, your Mom sounds like she refuses to get the proper mental help. She wants labels for her abuse because it legitimizes it.

Who cares about a label - abuse is abuse! Yes, she's abusing you both. You and your sister have the be the bigger adults and say 'enough is enough'. Stop the emails back and forth; they do nothing! Stop the calls and visits. Try this - try a 30 day stay away. Try 30 days of NO contact w/ your Mom; you and your sister need 30 days to cool off. Then try 60 days. You Mother is hurt and uses you as a stomping stone. Your Mom may stay sick her entire life, but don't let her ruin your life. You are adults and you now have the POWER to make better choices than your Mom is doing. All these sick emails do nothing for anyone; start to heal and move on. Don't get to be 40 and look back and say 'wow, Mom ruined our life'. Make the change now - move on from your Mother; she's toxic and she's screwed up. Forget helping her to label herself, YOU START TO HEAL. Your entire life could be ruined by dealing with your Mother. She wants to play the 'victim' instead of taking charge of her own life and getting help. Let her ruin her own life. You have the power to save your own!  

Answer 4

Sounds to me like your mother needs to do the growing up, her e-mails look like something a teenager would write!  What kind of parent would say things like that to their child?  A real Mom has unconditional love and no matter what you do should never turn their back on you.  If all you are trying to do is help her why is she so resistant?  What can she have you thrown in jail for?  Trying to act in her best interest?  You do what you have to for you and your sister!  And don't be suprised if she is lying about doctors testifying on her behalf.

Answer 5

My husband has sort of the same relationship with his mother. One minute she is the greatest thing in the world and the next minute she is like the devil. this woman really hs issues. She is constantly saying bad things to my husband. She tells him that she wishes he was never born or that he is no son of hers. I feel really bad for him and even though he doesn't show his feelings i know he is hurt. My family is the only real family that he has. He will still call her every now and then to make sure that she is still alive. But my family is his real family and that is what keeps him happy and content. As much as it hurts the best thing to do is distance yourself from her as much as you can. it is not healthy for you especially as a man to be treated like that by your mother. As long as you put your self in her path she will continue to do the same thing. You wouldn't step our in from of an 18 wheeler on the interstate so ther for you shouldn't put you self in a path of distruction. Just cut off ties and move on. This will only cause stress in your relationship. Or you can do what we did and go to the county judge and have her commited