Is my new home haunted?

Question

The missus and I recently moved into our new home about a month ago.

When I woke up this morning I noticed a pen that had been on my desk was now across the floor, as if thrown.

I knew it couldn't have been my wife, as we were together all night.

I checked with the cats.

I asked "Mr. Sniffles" (not his real name) if he had noticed anything out of the ordinary. I trusted his mature judgement as he is eight. His reply: "Nope, the kitten (eight weeks) was surfing the web all night, and I...look man, when you get the phone bill, just pay it and don't ask questions...A cat has needs."

I asked "Miss Stink Pickle" (she has flatulence issues) and she told me; "Hey look, I'm trying to play Halo3 here. Anyway, how the f**k am I supposed to throw anything? I don't have opposable thumbs?"

I started to ask how she managed to use the controller, but that was a can of worms I didn't want to open.

So, do you think my house is haunted?

Answer 1

I agree with 'Nuff Said, it's those d**n cats, and not ghosts.

A friend of mine used to suffer from severe hemorrhoid problems.

He was feeding his gerbils one day, when he noticed that they were covered in fecal matter.

He questioned them about anal escapades, but of course they denied everything.

Not surprisingly, his hemorrhoids cleared up soon after he fed the gerbils to his neighbors snake.

I feeding the cats to a local dog. Try covering them in BBQ sauce first, sometimes the fur will get stuck in a dogs throat.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

Your house haunted? By whom? There exists nothing like ghosts or demon. All are imaginations in your mind so strong that you feel them as really existing. Your house is ill-ventilated and full of polluting dirt. Get it cleaned and it will be no more haunted.

Answer 3

3 months ago you said you lived alone in a haunted house, now you moved and have a missus in a haunted house.

Isn't that odd.

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Answer 4

Line your cats up and take away their cat nip til one of them confesses. If that does not work then make them watch dog shows all day.

BB

Answer 5

I think the cats are plotting an over throw,  they are just testing you to see were your weak points are. It's time to hold their catnip hostage  and put down this insurrection before they get the upper paw!

Answer 6

It sounds to me as if entities/spirits have been channeling through your felines; of course your house is haunted

Answer 7

This sounds more like poltergeist activity (recurrent spontaneous psychokinesis) that is being brought on by your unexpressed and unresolved emotional conflict.

I would suggest getting the cats declawed so you won't have the love/hate confusion the next time they puncture the vinyl and cause your "wife" to lose air.

Answer 8

i dont know about you but i will say one thing

DAVE S...... your good at bringing them undone with the balonies...LOL

denie ... there you are

Answer 9

I don't know about your house, buddy, but I'd say your cats could definitely stand a visit from an exorcist.

Answer 10

cats are known to be liars and very mysterious. They are sneaky and while denying everything, in fact are playing a prank.I would say they have probably been in cahoots with the local witches to bring demons into your home. if you really want the truth, get a dog. the dog will run off the untruthful cats. Unlike cats, dogs cannot lie. They are a truth loving creature. And if anything is in your home, a dog will let you know by barking and scratching. And kick those cats outside, your cat box not only stinks, but it attracts flies that have been known to associate with demonic episodes in homes. Besides you may not be able to smell it yourself, but anybody walking into your home can, they are unsanitary. Your cats are probably giving you a disease right now and you don't even know it.

Answer 11

I think those cats need to start pulling their weight.  Sitting around playing games and surfing the web!  Fancy Feast doesn't grow on trees you know.

Answer 12

Ask a silly question...get a bunch of silly answers!! I guess you've been bored all day since Y/A has been on their coffee break all day. I imagine at some time of the day or night..your wife had to use the bathroom (without you). She probably threw the pen across the room just to liven up the day. You should take her out dancing so she won't have to resort to throwing pens around the house.

Answer 13

What do I think?

I think she puts the controller on the floor and presses the buttons with her paws very quickly.

Of course she cant grip the controls like we would, but if you have a fancy controller with auto-features, then I think that its feasible for a cat to play fairly well.

I get beaten regularly at halo by cats, so I know they are pretty good at the game.

..... Oh yeah, the pen, I dont know. Maybe its haunted.