Is my poetry dark?

Question

So, I showed this poem to my best friend, and she called me, reprimanding me about being dark. The truth is, I don't think my poetry is dark, I think it is truthful... Is this too dark?

I feel my world changing all around me.

In many ways I rather hate what I see.

I look into a mirror, I look at in in spite.

My life is now darkness, I cannot find a light.

The wind is blowing violently in the cloudless night.

I close my eyes and listen, so tired of the fight.

It barely even notice, I do not feel the pain.

Now that all is lost, there is nothing I can gain.

If this is the end, I am not afraid.

All thats left is thinking of mistakes that I have made.

I feel the darkness closeing in, one last breath I take.

I see a face approaching, it knows what is at stake.

Though I do not know it, his eyes are filled with tears.

He rushes me away, like it was one of his worst fears.

I know it is a lie, a good impression to be made.

As I drift in and out, to life farewell I bade.

Answer 1

Excellent poem you could feel her fear from pain,thats why your poetry is great...............He"s one i wrote of a girl i know,maybe some people also know this girl ?

A mouse scampers away

Anita stares down at the table

In dim light

Eyes damp

Tears rolling from her cheeks

she grows weary

Wonders in summation

What happened to her life?

Contemplation

As she stares at the bottle

Of pills

On the shelf

Should I take them?

Or use the switch blade knife ?

In the bathroom

To stop her rain

Outside her window

A crow stares

Down at her from a tower

in the pale light

Rustling leaves are whispering

To themselves

How helpless they feel

if her life

Will disappear this afternoon

In vain

Fourth of July

Maybe down the drain?

Someone tore her paper heart

Broke it in two

Left her in the gutter

With a needle spoon

Now she finds it

So very hard to laugh

No umbrella

From acid rain

All she carries now

Are the scars

Like a trapped starling

In a cage

Her tears have now filled

This room of hers

As she writes her aching story

In a page

Answer 2

wow i luv it

your really good

i dont think its dark

title could be:

other side

cuz all the things happining to the person:)

Answer 3

It sounds emo.

Answer 4

Listen, i get told that a lot because mine always seem to be down or darker because i write them when i am upset or confused or just bored. They seem dark to some. Some are dark, but no different than others. They are just me being blunt and truthful. You can't really get her to understand, but just know that it isn't dark...it is the truth.

The name could be: My sight or My life or My fright...Just read it and think about it. You'll figure something out. Just molt it over.

Oh, and i loved it.

Answer 5

how did you die. I like it I dont think its very dark. Its deeply emotioned to me but that is all.Good job!!!!!