Is my relationship going to end soon?

Question

I am engaged, but I am not 100% happy. I don't know if engaged couples are supposed to be. I never felt the way I feel about him for anyone else. I also feel a good chemistry with him. The reason is that I am not completely happy is because early in the relationship he talked excessively about his ex. He said that he loved her a lot and that the relationship was important. It hurt me to hear that, because I didn't have any relationship that was more important than this one and I don't like to be compared like that. Everyone says that he is really in love with me. But lately he has been acting differently. Normally he treats me very well and is very nice to me. But recently he blew me off on the phone once saying that he was "kind of watching tv with his sister." Another time was when he added some attractive girl on Facebook that he didn't know well at all claiming that they went to elementary school and high school together. They didn't go to high school together and I pointed that out and he said "oh I thought she did". When we were arguing he said "f you" which he never did before and threw his ring on the ground. He said that he did it because I did it before and he wanted to show me what it feels like and also because he just lost it. Is he just acting that way because he's stressed out because he has to move soon or does he just not love me? He claims that he loves me like crazy.

Answer 1

Your never going to be 100% happy unless you choose to be, it seems as if you are expecting him to be able to make you happy.  Here is a secret that you should know, happiness comes from within yourself.  No one on this planet has the power to make you happy, except for you.

Get over it, he has a past, you do not.  Why make him miserable because he has?  No matter who you are with, they will always compare you against who they were with before, it's one of the ways people use to figure out if your going to make them as miserable as their ex did or not.  And hey, guess what, he stuck around so not only have you been compared to her, but you have beat her out and you are the better woman.

As far as the blowing you off for his sister, the facebook thing, and throwing his ring to the ground and cussing at you.  It's quite obvious that your being really needy and clingy, it even would appear that your being a bit manipulative and controlling and perhaps that is what is causing his behaviour.  

Learn to relax, and let go a little bit, your only going to make this poor blokes life miserable if you keep acting the way you are.  Once you change your ways there is a good chance he will change his.

Answer 2

I think you should talk to him about your feelings. If you 2 are planning on getting married you should make sure you have great communication. Without that you marriage is sure to fall apart. My husband( I am a newlywed) Had a relationship before that was very important to him. He would sometimes talk about it and once he told me that if that girl ever came back into his life she would be the only girl he would leave me for. I was crushed. I keep that to myself for a while and then finally in a fight i told him how I felt.( he told me this maybe 7 months into our relationship, I finally told him how I felt a little over a year together, we have been together 3 years) And he told me he said that because he wanted to seem like a tough guy. Like he was the man or something and when I told him how i felt he said that he didn't feel tough he felt like an ***. And that he would never leave me for him and i believe him. I think you should just talk to him. Maybe find some counseling before you get married! Best Of Luck!

Answer 3

his probably just stressed. In my opinion what guys do is deny deny deny, so what you have to do and trust me it sucks is let him dig his own grave. What I mean is you be a spy and see who's wall he writes on, what he says etc. It sucks but with guys these days trust is something that's earned. So if you confront him about something make sure you know the answer. Then depending on what he says you'll know if hes full of c**p or telling you the truth. There's tons of software that sends you what he websites he visits and all his passwords without him even knowing as long as you use the same computer. I know its really sneaky and kind of messed up but I rather you know if he's playing you or likely to cheat now then in five years when your married and have his kid? Just trying to avoid future drama.  

Answer 4

Guys are scared of commitment, so he may be acting this way because he is lost in his mind. blowing you off is a way for him to be by himself and not think about the engagement. Nor think about marriage. He will get over it.

My bf was always nice to me and then we decided that we were going to move in together, Then he started acting differently. However he worked out his problems in his mind and found that he is just confused.

Give it a little more time. Give him some more time. If he is still acting the same way, then sit him down and tell him about you concerns. Tell him about how he has changed and tell him that you do not like it.  

Also as for the talking about his ex all the time and comparing you to her... that is just plain wrong. He is just thinking about what he had and not what he has got. Tell him that this bothers you. Talking about your problems and getting them out in the open is the best thing that yu can do... I talk to my bf about every thing. Work them out amongst yourselves.

As for the girl that he added on facebook, it could just be an honest mistake.  If that particular girl is still ther, then you should ask him to remove her as they do not even know each other.

Good Luck

Answer 5

Sounds like you guys need some space.  I am not sure how long you have been with your bf or how long you have been engaged, but this is the time to figure out what you want out of your relationship and not just try to please your partner's requests.  Does he still talk to his ex and does he see her? I would also suggest pre marital counseling to try to get help dealing with these issues.  

Answer 6

stress can cause him to act that way, the watching tv with my sister part i don't get. Are you sure it was his sister? do you read his face-book? see if she left any comments on there he hasn't seen or erased yet.  

Answer 7

Sounds like he got caught, and is pissed about it.  I am not sure that you should marry this man until you are positive that you can trust him.  I don't think that nagging him will help, because he can always set up another Facebook account that you are unaware of, using a fake name.  If you and he can't talk things over now without someone throwing a ring, God help you when the real problems start after you are married.  Maybe you and he need some premarriage counseling.

Answer 8

Your guy is creeping out. He needs to get complete about his former relationship before you go jumping in bed together. If you hadn't received pre-marriage counseling, not just a one time sit down with the Minister, it is advised. He could really be having cold feet about commitment (not about you). Guys are weird.

Answer 9

After reading your article, I suggest you wait to get

married to him.  It is most disrespectful for a man

to say FYou to his fiance.  You might not know him

that well, remember it takes a life time to know a person.

Take your time.

Answer 10

i think you need to "cool off" so you could reasses your relationship..