Is my son a typical three year old?

Question

My three year old son seems to be a little overactive. I know that boys tend to be pretty 'busy' but when do you know that it is more than just that? I'm always told that he is just a boy. But I have seen other little boys his age, and while they may be active they don't tend to be as active as he is at times. He also has begun to throw tantrums, or get mad, at the least little things. For instance, this afternoon our cat wanted to come back in the house because he was hot. My son wanted him to stay outside, I told him he was too hot, and my son just grunted his famous grunt and started throwing his toys in the backyard. Is that normal for a child to do? I mean I know some of the things he does are normal, but when do you know it is more than that? We spank, we time-out, we take things away, but nothing seems to phase him. Also, when you are trying to talk with him he doesn't act like he understands what you are talking about. I really don't know what I need to do. Thank u!

Answer 1

sometimes you just have to sit in front of them and look them in the eyes and talk to them. i have found getting down on their level really helps. i think your son is normal. be patient soon he will be 4 and then 5 and things just keep getting easier.

remember he is expressing his feelings. you can coach him and help him understand the correct ways of expressing himself.

parenting takes a lot of patients and explaining

Answer 2

Welcome to the terrible 3's!!!  Everyone warns you about the so-called terrible 2's, when the truth is age 3 is the hardest.  My older 2 are girls.  They were very easy at that age.  My son is now 3 1/2.  HOLY COW!!  Boys DO have a ton of energy.  My son is non stop, does things that just baffle me and is the KING of temper tantrums and sassiness.  Just breathe, be patient and be consistent.  You will be surprised at the difference when he turns 4!

Answer 3

He is a 3 year old and thats what some of them do.  No child is the same as the other.  It is a phase and no need to be alarmed right now.  Any good pediatrician will tell you that.  Its too soon to know if he has a psychiatric issue.  I wouldnt even worry.  Sometimes spanking isnt always the answer.  Maybe you should give him more positive attention because it looks to me as if he is just trying to get any attention he can, unfortunately, its negative attention and thats what you are giving him.  Try being more proactive than reactive with him.

Answer 4

U need to take him to a doctor.It may be possible he has adhd or something else.

Answer 5

Well my cousin was a crack addict and her son was acting outrageously hyperactive sometimes, he is only 3 as well but he has been to a lot of therapists and doctors. You cannot tell by the ages of 0-6 if your child has problems developing or hyperactive defficiencys. it just sounds like you need to chang eyour ways of dicipline. I mean my moms best friends kid they thought she had ADHD but she suffers from psycho syndrome haha she just craves attention. It seems like a normal thing to do but really there is nothing you can tell for another couple years. But he sounds like a normal little boy! temper tantrums are a part a life:)

Answer 6

Although many children that age tend to be oppositional and hyper, you might want to consult with your son's pediatrician. S/he can direct you to the right professionals (i.e., child psychologist) in order to determine whether or not your son might have some type of hyperactivity disorder or other impairment.

I work in a preschool (3-5 year-old kids) and experience these behaviors incessantly.  

What I do suggest is that you continue to be consistent in your discipline and reprimands. Also, continue to set limits and don't give in.  

If he generally understands you during normal communicative exchanges, then his manifestation of 'not understanding' is purely behavioral. However, if he has issues following directions even when he's in a good mood, you might want to note that , as they are indicative of comprehension/receptive language difficulties.

Answer 7

I have 3 children - all are totally different in terms of behavior and all have the same parents.

Tantrums are difficult but not impossible.  Just try not to go out that often with him so that you have more control of the situation and other parents don't make you feel like you are an idiolt because their child never did this.

Different things work but from my experience with a tantrum spanking doesn't work.   The child wants your attention, so basically don't give it when he has a tantrum.  My daughter would throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming and the more I tried the worse she got.  Finally I started to ignor her when she was in that state, and that's what started to work.  Once she calmed down I would pick her up, wipe away the tears and proceed to the bedroom to read her a book.  When she would start being herself I would talk to her about her actions.

Now she is 10 years old and although she can get emotional about things she is a great child.  Out of my 3 children she is the one that tells me everything and the one that is the most mature.

As a parent we learn everyday, and everyday we think we are bad parents - but we are not bad it's just a hard job, and an unapprecaited job.  Just be patient, remember that the child is just testing us, that's what we did to our parents (although my mom swears I never throw tantrums).  They the children have nothing better to do than study us, that's how they figured out how to call us when they were infants.

Don't listen to the ADHD c**p - the more the child is active now the less wild he will be as an adult.  All of europe is laughing at America because of this "illness", our children today have computers and othe sitting games- they need to move around and run and be a little wild - be children.

LOL

Answer 8

Sounds like a pretty normal 3 year old boy to me!

Answer 9

Unfortunately tantrums are very typical for this age.  However you could be sensing that his happen more often or for more trivial things than you notice what sets off other kids.  I can relate to that.  My son, now a few years older than yours, sounds very similar and its frustrating talking to other parents about it.  They relate to the tantrum thing and say, yes that's normal. But they aren't with him everyday to see that the amount and triggers aren't "normal".  

First try to see things through his eyes, oversensitive as he may seem.(for example does the cat bother him when he plays? Does the cat make him itchy?  Do you pick up the cat and give it attention when your son wants attention?  After you think it through for a minute choose your reaction to the situation. I can tell you from experience (regretfully) that spanking and the punitive forms of time out do not work. (use time out only for a cooling off period for everyone involved)

Think about it this way, if you were angry about something, perhaps your spouse ran over your favorite garden pot. And  you pursed your lips, and squinted your eyes and told your husband how much you liked it and how mad you were (equivalent to an adult tantrum)  What if he then... scolded you to calm down, that you are over reacting that it was only an accident and then, Hit you and told you to sit in the corner?  How would you feel?  What would you learn from it?  

Good luck, keep searching for answers, books, and better feelings.  I understand your situation.  It doesn't always feel great to be a parent of an overly sensitive child.  I learned the hard way, that most of my "crunchy" granola friends were parenting the right way.  I tried to go conventional for too many years and I regret it.

Answer 10

three year olds are little busy ones. My daughter is 3 and she starts running around from the time she gets up at 9 a.m. til she goes to bed at 9 p.m. She will only sit down for about 2 hours to watch tv in that time. i dont give her candy or much sugar at all. I even water down her juice. She just started the temper stuff and when she gets mad, she hits herself. we started to punish her for it and its helping. We sit her on the couch for 4 minutes cause shes almost that old. if she gets off the couch, the time starts over. if she whines while she is sitting, then more time gets added. Active kids hate to have to sit down so its working great for me.

Answer 11

this is pretty typical at this age... i work at baby store (we go up to 5 so i see tons of 3 yr. olds) and at this stage wanting things like the cat to stay outside is sort of a wanting to controll the enviornment and they get very frustrated when you dont let them i mean im sure the poor cat was dying but in his mind he just wanted his way kids rearange my store all the time and if anyone trimes to change things all h**l breaks loose!!!

Answer 12

He is pretty typical, in my opinion. Tantrums or getting mad is just a basic thing that every kid goes through. But throwing toys in the backyard seems a little too... Much for a three year old. Maybe you should try to talk with him, MAKE him understand, MAKE him listen. Good luck.

Answer 13

Well at that age they are great at pretending that they don't know what your talking about of saying to them, it's as if your talking to a brick wall. But they do hear and understand, it's just a trick they enjoy playing. And he sounds like he has control and anger issues, does that run in your family, it could be part of his personality and not a disorder

Answer 14

You definitely should discuss this with your ped, who may refer you to a psychologist. That cat incident is definitely not normal, but don't worry, it's probably just a phase he is going through, and with proper discipline, it will go away. I would think what you are doing would work, but the ways you mentioned you discipline him might just not be the way to reach him personally, and a child psychologist will give you guidelines on where to go from there.

Answer 15

My oldest son did that. I got really worried till I heard hm complaining about what I had told him ten minutes later. If he can grouch to himself because Mommy was mean and wouldn't let him play on the computer (at age three, this was), then he must understand! The tantrums are normal for all kids. Now you've just got to find a way to teach him to control his temper better than throwing toys.

Good luck!

Answer 16

yes he's normal. little kids are just brats. time to call in the super nanny!