Is my step-daughter mentally behind or just acting dumb for attention?

Question

ok well first of she's 7 years old but she acts like shes 2. she often asks me on saturdays "do we have school tomorrow". she gets a kick out of blues clues and she often asks me stupid questions. for example if its raining outside she'll say something like "its raining outside is it"? that is exactly how she words it. she gets on my last nerve because i cant have a basic easy conversation with her about any topic because all she ever seems to want to talk about are boys or cheerleading. she steals then when she is caught redhanded she lies and lies. her bio-mom is royally messed up and they look and act the same way. i am with her 24/7 and she drives me nuts i feel like my IQ is dropping. i know i need to get out every now and then but no one will watch her, not even her own grandparents. for instance mothers day is coming up and i want a day with no kids. i dont know. they are my step kids i could just leave. lol kdding only kidding. anyway let me know your thoughts. i appreciate it

Answer 1

She is seven years old and all kids not just seven year olds ask some odd questions from time to time. That doesn't make any child dumb though. Maybe she is slow, or ask odd things to get a conversation going. Maybe she is wanting attention or she could have a learning disability or she could just be curious. Regardless you should talk to her teacher to find out how she does in school. Is she at the level she needs to be at? If not the school could test her for a learning disability. If you still have concerns talk to her doctor. Take a deep breath, she is a kid and you probably need a little alone time. Let your husband know you need a couple of hours or so all to your self. Go shopping or whatever you would enjoy that you can just relax. Every mom needs a break sometimes. Try to be a good example/ role model to your step daughter because if her mom is really messed up what other woman is your step daughter going to learn from? All kids need love & nurturing and all adults need mental breaks sometimes. Give your step daughter a hug then take a break. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Well, she might just want attention. How many stepchildren do you have? It's surprising how many kids just want attention so they act out. Try and talk to her the next time she says something like that.

Answer 3

Could be a couple of things. Maybe she's trying to make conversation ("It's raining, isn't it?") because she wants attention, or she could have a learning disability (or, yes, she could just be stupid). Most 7yo's can't really carry on a conversation, so their efforts can seem a bit clumsy and irritating.

My boy says some things like that that really irk me too, like, "What time does the school bell ring?" ('Same time as it has every other school morning for the last 4 years, honey'). I have to take a breath though and not give the sarcastic response that wants to come out, and be patient and tell him the time AGAIN. I think this not knowing, or not being sure of the answer is just a manifestation of a learning disability.

Have you tried directing a conversation with your stepdaughter? Instead of boys and cheerleading (isn't she young to be focussed on these topics anyway?), something more interesting to you maybe? How about fashion? Animals? Nature? What's she learning in school? Go to the library and find a book that looks good that you can read together. Expand her knowledge, build on her conversation abilities by engaging with her.

Your husband should be working with and supporting you on changing some of her less pleasant behaviour traits (lying, stealing, etc.), with consistent consequences if rules are broken.

I know exactly how it feels (I was a stepmom before), and some days are easier than others. Why can't she go to her bio-mother's house for Mothers Day? Sounds like you could use a break. Even if your husband could take her away for a day, that might help. All I can say is, 'Patience!' and keep practicing consistency, and wish you all the best. This, too, will pass!

Answer 4

She is seven, she is not dumb nor is she acting dumb, she is acting like any normal seven year old. It will pass, just sit back and take a deep breathe. Maybe your husband could take over so you can go do some non-child involving things, everyone needs a break. I think you need one too. Good luck :  )

Answer 5

I honestly beleive it is a ploy for attention.  My stepdaughter acts the same way and she is 7.  However her biological mother encourages her babyfied behavior on account she cannot have any more children.  Luckily I only deal with it every other weekend lol.  Good luck on mothers day and I completely understand how you must feel.