Please review my work! I'm desperate! It looks long but it's really not!
Sorry for my other post, which somehow got messed up. Here is the new, good one. Please give each piece a _/10 rating please!
Storm over the Sea
Rain sprinkled into the ocean like salt from a salt shaker. Waves charged at the shore like ranks of an army, bellowing savage war cries. The hordes of ocean battalions hurled themselves onto the sand, then receded and prepared for their next assault. The pulses of water plowed over a small ebony island in the distance.
The curve of the Earth and the gray sky blended to form a melancholy azure. The clouds that reigned over the water were dull as iron, yet sullen and formidable. As time wore on, rain descended in torrents, bombing the ocean with miniscule seeds of water.
Flocks of seagulls swarmed the shallows, scoping out prey for their young. They snared their targets and ascended to the heavens, until they vanished into the heavens. The sky appeared to be one, colossal cloud.
When the wind’s whistle degraded to not but a placid sigh, the waves serened themselves. The clouds parted and brilliant radiance streamed upon the ocean. Now the waves were tame ripples that licked the shores of the land. The dandelion-yellow sun smiled its jubilee upon the sea, which had changed moods in minimal time.
More gulls soared above the ocean water, admiring its endless expanse and conquering beauty. At last the ocean gleamed lustrously, emanating an air of peace and joy. It has completed Nature’s cycle, and prepared to repeat the process of weather alternations once again.
Rain Storm’s Dominance
The glowing orb of effulgence suspended in the ocean-blue sky, which was also occupied by cumulus clouds. The white clouds sluggishly swam in the sky, paying no mind to the sweeping grasslands below them. But Nature’s hand was not idle: the cycle of weather was repeating again.
In the distance loomed ominous clouds, which patrolled the heavens gradually. The paved their way through the sky, demolishing clouds that rebelled their presence. As the two forces battled, the dark clouds unleashed a bellow: a roar that chilled the blood and clenched the heart for a split second.
The dark clouds effortlessly consumed the others, and the presence dominated the whole of the sky. With no white clouds to resist them, they traversed the sky and veiled the sun’s luster.
Now that the dark clouds tyrannized the terrain, they mustered their forces. They were silent, although they occasionally released a rumbling growl. The clouds initiated their assault by peppering the shadowed grasslands with rain. Its strength grew, and soon curtains of rain showered down.
The clouds unleashed their constructed rage by thrusting bolts of blinding electricity downwards. The strikes abruptly pinched the ground, which ignited crackling flames. The clouds seemed to defeat their own purpose though, for the rain swept down and extinguished the fire.
As more lightning crashed, strings of reports rang throughout the land. The thunder rolled and smashed, shattering the sky with a boom! and another snap of lightning. The land and sky endured hours of commotion, until the dark clouds grew weary. Their downfall was steady.
First, the rain slowed and eventually ceased. The lightning no longer exited, and the clouds shouted their weak and desperate cry of defeat. The clouds disintegrated, allowing the sun’s brilliance to prevail over sky and earth. The last wispy remnants of the clouds shrunk to nothing, subdued by Nature’s power.
Nature allowed the sun to gleam over the land, enjoying the happiness it brought. The rain clouds had been vanquished, their depressing forms replaced by puffy, white ones. But however much bliss the sun supplied the land, Nature had a responsibility to fulfill. She began working on the next step in her beautiful cycle.
Illusions of Happiness
We beings
can find happiness
in various places.
Some find it in wealth,
through expansive amounts
of money.
Some find it in power,
through the ability to
rule others,
and force them to do
their bidding.
Some find it in fame,
through others’ adoration
and devotion to them.
Some find it in beauty,
through health and
lovely physical appearance.
Although sometimes,
happiness, just like everything
else in the Universe,
is not but an illusion.
A simple illusion which
deceits most of us.
For greed snares opportunities
at pure happiness:
it forces our desire
for wealth, power, fame, and beauty
to escalate,
and twists it like a washrag.
Wealth conquers contentment,
and molds it into extensive lust.
And even when we are
satisfied,
greed deceives us,
and makes us unhappy,
until our sanity
is snuffed out.
Power becomes overwhelming,
and takes control of our
senses and awareness.
It is then that foolishness
forces us to become ignorant.
Fame is similar to power.
Power is similar to fame.
Either is obtained when
one is possessed.
And the consequences of fame
is equal to that of power.
And what does physical appearance
bring us?
Compliments? Smiles? Others’ devotion to
look like you?
These things will force you
to strive for
more, and more, and more,
until you destroy yourself
in your epic quest for
joy,
which was just an illusion.
Which of these best suits
you, dear friend?
Wealth, power, fame, or beauty?
Why not seek true happiness?
Look past the magician’s cunning tricks,
and search for happiness
that can only be found within
yourself and others.
True happiness
can be found by giving
elation to others.
To drop a quarter in a donation box,
to participate in a Walk for
Cancer, or Hunger, or other struggles.
But are these obstacles illusions as well?
Can someone who is starving,
or is pained by a disease
find true happiness also?
Anyone can find true pleasure,
but only if they wander
down the correct path.
Sometimes simple things are
where pure happiness is
found.
Like sitting ‘round a
crackling, welcoming fire,
surrounded by
brothers, sisters,
aunts, uncles,
grandmas, grandpas,
cousins,
mothers, and fathers.
Or a simple stroll down
a beach in the evening,
as the setting sun casts the clouds into
amalgamates of
orange, yellow, pink, and purple,
with the rippling waves
tickling your toes.
So I leave you with this
vague question:
Where will you find happiness?
Will you find it in
wealth,
power,
fame,
or appearance?
Or will you choose happiness through
bliss in unfortunate others,
family and friends,
or tranquil sanctuaries?
As said,
happiness is sometimes
an illusion,
and only the wise can truly
find inner bliss,
and elude the Illusions of Happiness.
Tags: