Is parenting as hard as i think it is?

Question

Me and my boyfriend are teens. Hes 19 and proposed that we should have a kid. Hes telling me that everything will be okay, that money wont be an issue but its not the money im worried about. I want to finish my college education but he is certian i will be able to do both. I love kids but he says its my choice. what do you think? feel free to email me.

Answer 1

yes parenting is hard work and yuo have to dod it for 18 years

i say wait until you feel your ready after all you will be the on caring the child for  9 months in you

Answer 2

finish school and it is hard if you have more than 1 child

Answer 3

Ok, I'm going to be totally honest....it's hard!  I had my first baby right after my 21st b-day, and just had my second little girl a few weeks ago at 23 yrs old.  I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way because I absolutely LOVE my kids, but your life changes dramatically!  When my husband and I got married we were going out, having fun, spending time with friends, camping, and so on...then we had our first kid and our lives completely changed!  It's no longer about you, it's about the baby.  As far as it not costing much like the first person said, I disagree.  Yeah, maybe at first it's not too bad, but they'll want toys and games and clothes and you'll spend a ton of money on your babies!  I'm just saying, enjoy your teen years and early 20's while you can because after a baby comes along everything changes and you'll be in charge of your little baby for the next 18 years!!!  Oh and forget about sleeping in for the next at least 5 or 6 years, lol!

One last thing, I'm not saying if you had a baby now you would be miserable, I'm just saying from experience I would wait, but if it does happen, you'll manage and everything will be fine.  Good luck on your decision.

Answer 4

I am a mum of two, my children are wonderful, well behaved and just a joy to have BUT this took and is still taking a lot of hard work to maintain. Children need rules, boundaries, guidance, love, stability, finance, strong role models and did I mention LOVE?

It is a difficult job to be a parent, you don't get time off it's a 24/7 job once a parent ALWAYS a parent, you will have to be responsible for another human being for the best part of 20yrs you will have to juggle college and work and find time for your children inbetween yes it can and has been done but with great difficulty and much sacrifice. Yes a parent always has to sacrifice but if you were older more financially stable and have more life experience the sacrifice will be less and you will have so much more to give to your child.

I can't make this decision for you, no one can but bare in mind all that it involves. You won't be able to do all the things your free and single friends will be experiencing, like travelling the world on a gap year, do some work experience in a fantastic job, going to parties, buying what you want when you want. Your child will always have to come first and rightly so, but do you really want to deal with this sort of responsibility at 19?

Good luck what ever you choose.

Answer 5

Yes it can be very hard.

Juggling your studies with having to provide constant care for a baby won't be easy.

I think finishing your education should take top priority so that you can be a better parent later if you want and be more prepared for it.

Why does he want a kid right now anyway?  I mean what would be the rush?

Answer 6

Finish school, what's the rush?  Life is a lot less stressful with some money in the bank versus paycheck to  paycheck.  

No parenting isn't as hard as you think, it is 10 times harder than you can possibly imagine.  It's not the work, it's the worry.

Answer 7

Yes, it is very hard.  No matter how many children you have.  The best thing you can do for yourself is finish your education and then settle down and start your family.  People are having children later in life these days for a reason.

And as far as your boyfriend is concerned, him saying 'Everything will be Okay and money won't be an issue' is truly spoken by someone who has absolutely no clue what they are in for.

Just think about it.  Good luck.

Answer 8

It is hard, it has great moments but learning to be a parent and not a friend to your child is very hard.  They test the limits and you have to really pay attention to them and learn to balance things out.  New babies require lots of care and it is easy to end up worrying about them when they are at SIDS age.  Then toddlers test every limit there is to test and you have to teach the right from wrong, you are the most important teacher in their life.  Some kids don't test as much as others just depends on each individual personality.  I would say finish college first and go from there.  Yes you can learn to balance college and a baby at the same time woman do it all the time but it is hard and takes attention away from your child while you are going to college so sometimes it is just better to wait.  Just sit down and weigh the pros and cons of both and see how you feel.

Answer 9

Take it from someone who knows: you cannot parent, and study at the same time.

Finish your studies first, get savings behind you, and then think about children.  They are a full-time job (that you *never* get a break from).

good luck!

Answer 10

Children are a full-time job.  They are EXPENSIVE.  A 19-year old boyfriend father?  Where do you think he'll be for the next 18-21 years; chances are, not with you and your kid.  If you have a kid, a college degree is probably out, as is a good new car, clubbing, travel, any life of your own.  Better start thinking diapers, no sleep, food stamps, welfare, low-income job, ruined life.  Don't let a 19-year-old, no matter how currently charming, con you into making a decision that will mess you up.

Answer 11

Wait. Wait. WAIT! You have plenty of time for reproducing. The impact of children on education and career is ENORMOUS and should not be underestimated; if you rush into it you'll miss out on the freedom to study, and you also won't be able to give your best attention to your child.  

Answer 12

no you are way too young. It makes me so mad when people talk about having a child as if it's like getting a pet. It's a lifetime commitment and it's a lot of work. Didn't you see "the baby borrowers"? Wait until yuo are older and married and stable and done with school...think about the child you will bring into the world and do what is right for them. Be fair, don't have a kid for selfish reasons. If you plan on bringing a baby into the world, you have to be prepared to put that baby first always. It isn't about you anymore once you have a child. You need to be good and ready for that and plan for it.

Moogy is full of c**p too. $200. a month to have a baby, who is she kidding? not me. Do you have good medical insurance? it cost a LOT more than that to care for a baby and if you are going to school you will to pay for childcare as well and that alone can be $200.00 a week, nevermind a month. Moogy talks about a baby as if it's a pet.

Answer 13

Yes, but it's worth it if you wait until you're ready. The time and money you spend on kids are significant - but it's the emotional energy you have to expend that can be overwhelming at times. It's hard to have anything else going on at the same time that requires so much of your heart and your mind.   Whatever else you're doing, whether it's college or a job or your relationships, will take second priority.

I've raised 3 kids, earned a Ph.D., and have a professional career. Parenting is the both the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. My husband and I waited a long time to start a family.  We finished our education, got settled in careers, played and traveled around, and just lived a lot. Even so, we both still gave up professional opportunities and most of our leisure time when the kids came. It was not a sacrifice, because we had been there and done that and were ready to devote ourselves to our family.  It has been the best part of our lives.

My sister had a child at 19. She still feels like she gave up most of her youth.  She never got to go to college or earn a good income. She was always struggling to pay the bills - even though she married soon after having her baby.  She did a wonderful job raising her kids and was glad to be home with them when they were little - but it was another 23 years before she was able to go back to school and develop some career opportunities.  

I teach college. I've had 19 and 20 year old students who have young children. I see how hard it is for them to manage school and parenthood at the same time. They write their term papers in the middle of the night and then get up at 6 a.m. when the baby wakes up. They miss exams because the babysitter didn't show up and can't meet with their study groups because they don't have child care at 7 p.m.  Most of them do graduate, but college is a chore rather than an opportunity to explore their interests and talents, develop an extensive social network,  and figure out who they are.  You can do it, but you won't get as much out of college that way.  And college is pretty pricey these days!

There are different paths in life. One is not necessarily better than the other. It may help to ask yourself what would be in your future child's best interest?  What kind of parent do you want to be? What do want the experience of raising children to be like?    Good luck with your decision.