Is putting Tobasco on everything the best way to get into heaven?

Question

Is putting Tobasco on everything the best way to get into heaven?

Answer 1

No but it causes sphincter burn

Answer 2

It would probably help if you spelled it correctly, it's Tabasco.  But, if you use enough of it, your blood will be too hot for h**l so you will have to go to heaven.

Answer 3

I'm not sure about that, but a lot of it will give you a good taste of h**l!

Answer 4

It's certainly in the top five for sure . . .

Answer 5

d**n I hope so! I love that stuff!

Answer 6

I doubt it, there's only one way to get to heaven, and thats excepting jesus into your heart. Dieing is something completely different

Answer 7

No no, remember? Whipped cream is the best way to get into Heaven.

Cos it looks like clouds.

But don't eat it, it tastes like horrible yuck.

Answer 8

I have been trying this method for years.  I also use it in my personal hygiene as a way of gathering Karma.

Answer 9

Good question... It all depends on the net welfare you are providing to others around you, in function of your religion: if you are a Christian, by putting tobasco on everything you are increasing the company's net profit, and therefore helping your neighbours, and as Jesus said, Loveth thy neighbor as thy love thyself. If you are a Muslim, Allah will grant you entry to heaven and you shall be accompanied by 27 virgins (albeit it is not referenced anywhere that they will be all of the opposite s*x as you) if you pour tobasco on the foods of the infidels, and make them bleed to death through hemorrhoids. If you are a Buddhist, tobasco can help you get into heaven (nirvana) if you can't stand tobasco - i.e., it will diminish your desire from food, an earthly possession, and therefore free you from your wishes and earthly needs. If you are a Hindu, and you can get to put tobasco on everything people around you eat (though they will have to like it in order to work) for free, then it will contribute for good karma, and needless to say, you will get into your widely defined concept of Heaven. I'm not actually sure of the Jewish representation of Heaven, but I have a notion it has something to do with the Old Testment, so, steer away from apple inciting reptiles (not sure how tobasco will help there).

There are a million ways tobasco can grant you access to heaven - here's one more: send a crate of tobasco to God, and pray to God that he's a fan of spicy food - granted that many of these beliefs are true and held consistent by some proof. As there is none, save for crazy stories from deluded people (I'm supreised at how no one started a religion from vampires and Bigfoot...), the most likely outcome of your experiment will be spend a whole lot of money on tobasco, increase their stock values and dividends and make me rich, while your plans to get to heaven will have been worthless,as you will pass into dust when you die.

Answer 10

No, but it might get you out of Gym class.