Is she jealous or just thinks she is smarter?

Question

Ok I am REALLY getting peeved now. My hasband and I met in Dec. of 07. We got married 07/06/08. My brother and his gf (also my best friend) are the only ones that said anything negative. That I was taking this too fast, I might be making a mistake, I might regret it, I barely know him, BLAH BLAH BLAH. What matters is how I feel. I love him and it's deeper than anything I have ever felt. I am not going to explain our love, just know that it real! Anyways, no we haven't been married long and I am young, 22. He is 25. We are now trying for a baby. Financially, we are stable. Emotionally, we are stable. We are also moving into a new house within the next month. Anyways, I told my best friend about the ttc and she says I am too young, I may not know what I am doing, I am rushing, she doesn't want to see me s***w myself. whatever. I am tired of defending not only myself but my actions. She thinks we should wait. So what if I wait to have a baby till we own a house and my husband makes good money and as soon as I get prego my husband gets injured, loses his job, bank forcloses on house, and now I am prego, homeless, and I waited all that time for nothing! The way I see it, I am an adult, and I am living my life how I want. These are the decisions my husband and I made together because this is how we want our life and this will make us happy. I don't know why I care what she thinks or my brother but I do. I am so frusterated with them constantly telling me I am in the wrong with what I am doing. It hurts my feelings and I feel like they do not trust my judgement. How can I possibly explain to her so she'll understand? I don't see a big deal in being happy and living a productive life!!! My brother tried to throw this line at me saying well you've always wanted to get married and have a baby. Ok??? So I found someone to do that with that shares my dream and best of all we love eachother! Why can't they just be happy???!!!

Answer 1

I understand the concern of your friends and family.  To marry someone seven months after meeting does indicate immaturity and fantasy living.  He is as guilty as you.

You will wish you had waited when the fantasies turn to realities.

Over 50% of marriages now end in divorce.  You are not immune.

A baby deserves a stable family.  Stability comes with time.

In a few years you will thank those people for their geniuine concern and love for you.

Answer 2

I don't agree with Replace! I believe that if your friend was really your friend she would be happy for you and support you. My husband and I got married 11 months after we started seeing each other. We are now seen as the "cutest couple" or "so good for each other". We are happy and in love, and you're right, that's what matters. We are now pregnant (after 1 year of marriage, but trying for 7 months) with our first child. We both work full-time, squeeze on money from time to time, but you know how the saying goes "the more you make the more you spend"? Well, there ya go! No matter how "stable" you are in life throwing a baby in the mix throws things of kilter. I think you're doing the right thing if it makes you happy, and if you're friends and your friends, they'll be happy and supportive. Keep your head high, good luck on the baby, and stay happy! You deserve your happiness!! (Oh, did I mention that I was only 20 when I got married? ... )

Good Luck Honey!!

hmmm ... a few other things to think about. Your brother and his GIRLFRIEND?! how long have they been together? they're not married yet? that could be her problem ... that your married and she's not?!?!

Answer 3

this looks like a clear case of jealousy to me.  before baby gets here, have 2 things in order.  a savings account for unforeseen emergencies, [they say 8 months of your income]  and insurance for health and life.  you may have it through an employer already.  if not, put baby on hold til these things are taken care of.  you will have a wonderful life.  maybe your brother would like to place a bet on your good judgment.  like a dinner out on your 5th anniversary, he pays!  put it in writing, then tell him 'hush, no more doubts.'  have a nice life.