Is she just leading me on?

Question

I met this girl at work about 2 years ago. At first it wasn't anything at all. We began to get closer as time went on. Last November we actually started dating. In December her mother passed away, I knew this was difficult for her. Her birthday is in January so, I wanted to take her away for that weekend. She had already been through so much. We did go and we had a good time, considering the situation. After that we got alot closer. I was involved in some other commitments at the time, business related. So my time with her was limited cause I was traveling alot. We spoke everyday and saw each other every week. My feelings grew for her. I then realized that I wanted to spend more time with her, instead of work so much. So I changed my schedule for her, and for me I realized that I wanted to be in a committed relationship with her. When I was going to tell her about my feelings, I noticed she was pulling away from me. I asked her about it, she said she was feeling different about us. I of course was surprised. I didn't know what to say. I left her alone for a few days. She started texting me how she felt a few days later. It was hard to read those messages. I felt like I lost her. I still wanted to tell her how I felt, so a couple days later I did. I called her and told her I loved her. For me this was difficult, I felt that she was already gone, that she drifted away. When I told her how I felt she was surprised. She didn't realize I felt this way for her, I told her exactly what she meant to me, how I valued her friendship and her compassion for me. Her exact words were "WOW". After that we started to see eachother more often cause I now have more time. When we hang out it's always something simple like getting dessert or going to a movie, but, we always manage to stay with eachother very late no matter what we do. We can get together around 9pm, but, we stay hanging out til 3am. Every time. So it's been a month and a half since I told her how I feel. We still text and talk. I see her atleast once a week. I told her last weekend that I wanted a relationship with her. She said one thing is that she is scared, but, she would think about it. I still have'nt heard anything about it from her. We talk but, I don't bring it up. I know she cares, but, how long do I wait?

Answer 1

My mom and I are expecially close but I know that when my dad passes I'm gonna be very closed off and guarded for a while.  Give her time and stick around to show her you have no intentions of leaving.  Right now she needs security.  If you want to know how she's feeling about a relationship then ask her.  Tell her you want her to be honest, and not to be scared of how you'll react.  Tell her your willing to wait and help her get through whats blocking her from complelty allowing you into her heart.  

Answer 2

Its hard to say but I would guard against getting too emotionally attached to her until she can make up her friggin mind.

If it was me after a few weeks of uncertainty I would be gone.

Answer 3

she wants you to be a good friend to her. i agree w/ the other guy. i would continue dating others. believe it or not, even though she spends time w/ you, her feelings could be different from yours. dont worry about it. sometimes you just have to play it cool & ignore her for a while. when she comes around, talk to her, but dont make her feel as special b/c it just doesnt work for some women. i know you would hate to do this b/c you only want to show her your love, but i know some   women that view this behavior as a weakness. certain women, dont appreciate someone who will spoil them & instead prefer  someone posing a bit of a challenge continuously. gd lck!

Answer 4

Dude way too much going on, bottom line, if your not sure don't put all your eggs in 1 basket.

Answer 5

If you genuinely care for her and it sounds like you do, you will be patient. Because it sounds to me like she is scared and confused! Give her a little time and space

and if she doesn't bring up the issue within say a couple more weeks then you take matters into your own hands by asking her for a response.  

Answer 6

It sounds like she must like you or she wouldn't spend time with you at all. So she's a little undecided is all and realisticly speaking who isn't. If you really like her be patient and enjoy every moment you have with her and see what develops. Love grows slower in some than others so show her what your made of and be understanding. Just because she isn't into your relationship as much as you would like her to be yet doesent mean she's not into it with everything she's got.