Is she too young to just let her cry?!?

Question

My baby girl will be 8wks old tomorrow...I have to return to work in two weeks and my baby has grown acustom to me holding her at every wimper that she makes and she usually falls asleep in my arms and we co-sleep!! I have got to get her weened from these habits bc I wont be there to hold her nonstop when I return to work plus it is wearing me out!! I am living the life of a single mom bc my husband is deployed to Korea at the moment!!! Is she too young for me to let cry herself to sleep!! She is crying at the moment and its breaking my heart but I have to do something!! Any and all suggestions and opinions would be appreciated and thank you in advance!!!

Answer 1

No, I don't think so. My baby (now 4 months old) got into the same habit of me holding her until she fell asleep. I was returning to work when she was 12 weeks old and wanted to break her of the habit when she was around 9 weeks. My pediatrician said it was a good time to learn to fall asleep on her own. So, she suggested to put her into her crib awake but tired and let her cry for a little bit. She said if it went longer than 15 minutes to get her and calm her down and then try again. My baby never cried for more than 5  minutes until she was asleep, and now she falls asleep on her own like a pro.

Answer 2

try your best to soothe her! 8 wks is still soooo young!

Answer 3

You should have been holding her instead of asking this question.

Answer 4

Yes she's too young! She's only 8 weeks and crying is her only means of communication, even if she's simply saying "Mommy, hold me". The CIO method won't teach her anything except that you're ignoring her.

Besides, it's not like a daycare is going to put her in a crib all day and let her CIO. They can meet her basic needs and then some. She'll be fine. Keep holding her and loving on her, that's what she needs right now.

Answer 5

sweetie don't do your newborn baby girl that be there for her remember she's still small wanting the security of her mother therefore you shouldn't have her crying like that.pick up your baby and hold her bc when you go back out to work she would be 10 weeks and she would not give so much trouble to the sitter jus choose your sitter wisely so that your baby could get the same security that u have given her,but enjoy every minute wit your baby trust me you would miss it  

Answer 6

Hi there, I feel for you!! It is really difficult to have to leave such a young bub and you will no doubt be feeling very sensitive to her cries because you have to go back to work. I had to do some 'controlled crying' with my daughter when she was 6 months old, but i wouldnt want to do it with one so young. I think the best way to do this with her, as she is so young and wont understand what is happening, is to make sure she only cries for a few minutes before you go and comfort her. for example, let her cry for 5 minutes, go in and softly comfort her without picking her up, ie give her the dummy or a little pat on the tummy or rub her forehead - whatever works for her, leave her again, and then repeat the process. maybe you could try extending the time by a few minutes every day or so. But be sure to always be consistent so she feels safe and not abandoned. Good luck with it - and dont feel guilty even though I know it is tough.  

Answer 7

Cry it out method is not to be done until at least 6 months old.  She is way way to young to be crying it out.  She needs to be fed and held and changed.  At 8 wks it is perfectly normal for them to be fed every 2-3 hrs and need frequent diaper changes and rarely sleep through the night  

Answer 8

Ok, I have been exactly where you are right now.  Well, almost.  I was a live-in nanny for a newborn.  His mother left him with me through the night and day.  She wasn't there much at all, and I'm the one that bonded with the baby.  She didn't tend to him (she had issues) at all, but if she heard him cry, she would make me pick him up.  So it wasn't long before he cried every time he was put down, whether it was to sit in a swing for a few minutes, or to sleep at night.  I think he was about 2 months old when it started.  It got to the point at night that I was getting no sleep at all, because I slept with him next to me in a bassinet, and I didn't have time to fall asleep before he would cry to be  picked up and I'd spend 20 minutes rocking him to sleep again, only to have another 15 minute window before I had to start the whole process over again.  I think I went almost two weeks with out more than a  few winks of sleep ( I could sleep during the day, lying on the couch, for short periods of time if he slept on my chest).  So, it's no surprise that I was almost to the point of a nervous breakdown.  Then something miraculous happened.  His mother gave me the night off.  Then SHE had to deal with this, and by 7:00am when I returned, she had changed her  whole point of view.  She didn't last very long.  She and I talked about the situation, and she told me that she had read that babies this age couldn't be spoiled and that if they cried they needed something everytime.  We agreed that those people were obviously wrong, cause we had one very spoiled 2 1/2 month old on our hands.  I told her about the cry it out method, and she said she just couldn't do it.  She wouldn't be able to listen to him cry.  But she was going on a trip for three days, and if I could get it to work while she was gone, she would be ok with it.  Her only stipulation was that I didn't let him cry for longer than 10 minutes without checking on him.  So anyway, I did try it, the first night she was gone.  I put him down asleep, he woke up, I patted and gave him his pacifier back.  He promptly spit it out and howled.  I walked away.  Which was really hard for me, because even though I wasn't  his mother, I had bonded with this baby.  Ten minutes later, I went back into the room, covered, patted, and gave him his pacifier again.  I stayed with him until he was slightly calmer, then I left again.  He cried maybe 2 more minutes, and fell asleep.  I think that was the best sleep he had ever gotten, because he slept so long I started to worry about him.  But aparently he wasn't the only one missing out on sleep.  After that, once I had put him down, he might cry one or two minutes, but he was quick to figure out that he was supposed to go to sleep now.  I was even able to put him down during the day in a bouncer or swing when he was awake, so I could have my hands free for a little bit.  It was great! Let me tell you!  I felt like I had made a major accomplishment with him, and we were both a lot happier.  So try it out for yourself.  I'm sorry this story was so long, I just wanted to give my complete experience on this, so you can judge for yourself.  Hope I helped!

Answer 9

Yes she is too young to let her cry. Babies that age cant get to sleep by themselves and its normal for them to fall asleep whislt someone is holding them.

Co sleeping is a very effective way of coping with a newborn baby, lots of mothers do it. its natural, and why wake your baby up even more by getting her out of her bassinet when all you have to do is give her your breast.

My son had to be cuddled to sleep until he was 4 months old. Now he goes to sleep very easily by himself. Dont think you are spoiling her when you cuddle her to sleep. She will learn to sleep on her own when she is bigger.

Answer 10

I think its just as much about you as it is about her. Are YOU ready to let her cry it out? I was in the same situation but there was no way I was letting my little baby cry. Its not like I could sleep while he cried anyway. Do whatever you have to do to get through it together. If she sleeps with you, that's fine. One day, she'll get big enough she will sleep through the night.  

Answer 11

I believe yes she is too young for controlled crying. I waited til my daughter was 11 months but it could probably be suitable earlier, but not 8 weeks. Isn't there a way you can take longer off work? You are going to be so worn out

Answer 12

if you let her cry without comforting her, she may fret and not settle. She will feel isolated and frightened. This will effect your bond with her and her long term confidence.

the best you can do is try to do what works in your family. You feel it's too much for you to go to her every whimper and too difficult for you to continue to co-sleep... try comforting her without lifting her and see if that helps. Perhaps put her cot right next to your bed, so you can put your arm through and touch her as much as you like and pat her to comfort her.

You don't need to wean her off your comforting style just because you are returning to work. If she is going to a day care, they are trained professionals and they are not allowed to leave a baby unattended at any time that child is awake. And they have to check on the baby every 5 minutes that the baby is asleep. It's the law, and the will abide that law.

If your baby cries in the day care, she will be attended too, and her needs will be met as soon as the carers are physically able to do so. Sometimes she may need to wait a minute or two purely because there are other babies who's needs have to be met also.