Is something wrong, and how can we help this?

Question

I was a virgin until I got married a couple of months ago. My husband and I have only had s*x about 10 times because it is so uncomfortable for me. He is well-endowed, and it hurts going in, and after that it just puts pressure on me, and sometimes I feel like I have to pee really badly. What can we do to help with the pain, and does it get more comfortable? We use a lubricant, and it does help some. Please only serious answers.

Answer 1

Yes, nervousness and stress especially in young women may result in tight vaginal muscles. It appears to me that the tightness the guys associate with a virgin is due more to the lady being nervous and stressed by the new experience more than size or lack of use. Solution is for the guy to take extra time with foreplay and to observe the first rule of male technique or ICS principle: "It's the clitoris stupid." He must take time gently moving from one level of foreplay to the next from your lips, to your neck, to your b*****s: explain to him the touches that excite you. Finally, he or you will have to involve the stroking of the clitoris (again you may have to teach him) and if possible, he would be wise to let his tongue work a little for him and you. Only after you have climaxed at least once, will your v****a have relaxed and expanded enough to make intercourse possible and and enjoyable.

The above assumes that you both are reasonably compatible in size: that is, if his p***s is large and your v****a is in the average to small range as far a size goes, then even extra foreplay may be required. And it assumes, that you are not mad at him or have some other reason to be uptight with him.

More on size. The partners should match in size for good results and nature that set it up so that most guys are a reasonable match for most women but not all. You have indicated your boy friend is "very large": not just the length (average is 5-7") but also girth (average is 4"-5.5): any thing bigger is big to very big. Vaginas also come in various sizes like penises. Unexcited the average v****a is 2.5-3" across and 4" deep: excited it expands about 50% plus or minus. While a average v****a may expand to accommodate a large p***s there can be difficulty especially with the first attempts. It can feel wonderful at first just sitting in there. But certainly a smallish v****a is going to have a difficult time dealing with a large p***s: in some cases, the large guy will never be able to engage in hard or fast pounding without hurting the cervix and in some cases both partners become sore if it goes on for even a regular length of time. In one case the guy had to wear a donut around the shaft of his p***s so that his p***s did not enter too deeply into his partner and hurt her. These are things that are not good about being a larger guy.

Now there may be the case of a large male who mates with an average to small female. In this case, he and the lady are going to have to learn what will work for them what will not. What s*x positions allow for less penetration than others. He will have to learn to go slow and be more careful than average, accommodations such as these and others can go a long way to making less than compatible bodies more compatible.

Live and learn and soon pleasure may come

Answer 2

Hi Jennifer, congrats on your marriage. It's unfortunate that something that you have waited so long for is not yet living up to it's reputation. Did you have a "well woman checkup" prior to your marriage? That would be a basic gynecological examination that would include a pap smear, breast exam, and any information that you may want for birth control. During the visit the Dr. would perform an internal examination ( the Dr. would use a piece of equipment to gently open your v****a enough to visualize your cervix) and then do a manual exam (use his hand to make sure that your hymen would not be a problem for s*x). If you did have a well woman check and you are still having problems, it might be worth another visit to explain the problem to the Doc and have him take another look.  

It may also help to prepare yourself for s*x mentally and physically. Make sure that your bladder is empty and that you don't need to have a bowel movement. Take a relaxing shower. Think about how much you want your husband and use lots of lubricant. And tell him no penetration until he has kissed and loved on you for at least 10 minutes. In the future, after this is all worked out, continue to tell him what you like and what you want...and ask him, too. That is all part of a healthy marital relationship...and that's when the fun begins.

Answer 3

You need to relax girl.  It's ok, you are married now.  Hopefully he is turning you on first?  Like about a half an hour of foreplay?  If so, then you might want to see a dr.  Gynecologist exactly.

Answer 4

do you have to pee during or after the s*x? did you make sure you talked to him about last s*x relationships? (or made him take any s*x infection test, to see if his clean?) there is an infection that makes females always wants to pee a lot, or real badly. (i don't remember the name of it) maybe that's not it. i had to do it more then 10 times to get used to it. so relax, cause most women at their first time, they're never relax, i know i didn't, so next time try relaxing, or make it fun, if you know what i men ;-). good luck!