Is something wrong with me that I don't want a boyfriend?

Question

I'm 28yo and I am really happy being single. For a long time I was single trying to "find myself" and discover who I was. Then I decided I was ready for a relationship and when I kept meeting guys, I wanted the ones who wanted to play games.

I ended up coming across 2 guys in the past 2 years who wanted to be with me. One I kind of took for granted, but things ended up not working out with us for other reasons and the other just totally wasn't the one for me so I ended things.

Now I think that I just don't want a man and feel I would be perfectly fine being single for the rest of my life because when I'm in a relationship, they eventually get on my nerves because they become needy. I do want a baby so I'll have to work that out somehow, but other than that, I'm great.

Is something wrong with that? A lot of women my age (especially my single friends) are panicking if they don't have a man or aren't engaged.

Answer 1

Don't crack under pressure. If you are happy with yourself being single at 28, there is nothing wrong with it.

When you are ready to share your life with someone, just do it.  

Answer 2

Nope perhaps you fear being hurt again.

Answer 3

It's so hard being in a relationship these days.  It's the player generation out there.  You meet so many potential s.o.'s, and after you see their true colors, you can't even imagine being with them.  There's so much d**n cheating, and unfaithfulness,  that it's very hard to hold on to someone.   I surely can't see anything wrong with your attitude on the subject.  You just wanna keep your heart in one piece.  

God wants us all to marry, and to procreate, keeping the species going.  I am sure your parents want you to give them some grandchildren someday, and even great-grandchildren.  It's your decision, ultimately.  Best wishes to you, in whatever happens in your life.

  

Answer 4

re: when I'm in a relationship, they eventually get on my nerves because they become needy.

.......so it's all about what's wrong with them, whereas, you are just fine!

Maybe you need to take the time to learn HOW to have a good relationship at:

http://www.google.com/search?client=oper...

Answer 5

Their is nothing wrong with it at all.  Their is nothing with wrong with being single and independent.  I do warn you though! You usually find true love when you don't even care if you find it or not.  Just have fun and no worries.

Answer 6

Marriage isn't for everyone. Some people are a lot happier when they are single.

When I was younger, I thought all I wanted to do was get married and have a couple of kids. So that's what I did, I got married and had one child and I was miserable and finally got a divorce. After being single for many years, I convinced myself that I just married the wrong man and got married again, had another child and was miserable again.

I realized the happiest years of my life was when I was single. To be quite honest, if I could go back and do my life over, I would never get married. I love my kids and would never want to go through life without children, so when I was ready to have children, I would just of had them on my own. That's why they have sperm banks. You can have children without dealing with a dead beat dad or fighting about visitation and child support. Who needs that in their life? Don't tell me that kids need to have a father. One of my children has a dead beat dad who can't be bothered with her and the other one has a father who makes her life miserable just like he made mine. The only role my own father played in my life was to apply punishment when I did something wrong. At least you can tell your children they don't have a father, because mom went to a sperm bank, instead of saying you have one, but he just can't be bothered with you.

If you don't want to get married or have a boyfriend and you find being single makes you happy then you shouldn't let people make you feel there is something wrong with you because you are happy without a man and they feel they need one to be happy.

You are 28 years old. If you have a good paying job and can afford to support a child and you want to have a child and you are prepared to raise it on your own, then do it.  

Answer 7

Yes...there is something wrong with you. You're the intelligent one out of all your friends...LOL. I understand the getting on my nerves thing that's for sure. For myself I hate it when I have to justify where I'm going...what I'm doing...when I'll be back...who I'm with and all that sillyness. I understand it's all part of being with someone and maybe that's why I'm not. The biggest reason though may be that with all the cheating and trust issues I'm happier by myself. All you have to do is come on here and read all the problems everyone has with relationships and it'll definitely make one want to stay single....it's a lot more peaceful...lol.

Answer 8

Honestly, I applaud you for realizing that you don't define yourself by having a boyfriend or husband.  You are you first and only.  Another person in your life is nice and can make some people whole, but for you, it's not necessary.

Don't worry about it, you're doing fine!

Answer 9

If you are truly happy with the decisions you've made, why are you here asking a bunch of faceless strangers you'll never meet what they think about your relationship status?

I find it interesting that you say all the men you get involved with turn out to be "needy". Why do you think that is? Do you believe that all men are needy? Or do you think that you have selected men who are needy? Do you think it's possible that you picked up on signals those men gave out before you got involved?

You also say that you've wanted men who turn out to be game-players. Is it possible that they were giving out signals too?

For the little it's worth, I think that women are generally very good at reading men and assessing very quickly their potential as mates. If you accept this, then it raises some interesting questions about why you've chosen the men you have.

For the little more it's worth, I think there's nothing at all wrong with being single. In fact, in practical terms, there are many positive things to be said for it. I don't look down on single people - men or women. I don't think they're pathetic or losers and I don't think they're selfish.

The people I do find pathetic are the women who start to panic as their 30th birthday approaches. I can understand the worries about the time for having kids passing, but it does seem that many women still feel they're not a complete human being unless they're married by 30. That suggests a lack of self-esteem which I find very sad.

Having said that, and for all the annoyances that can be caused by living with another imperfect human being, I find - on balance - that life is a lot more fun and interesting if you share it with someone special.

That's a personal decision made by me. You need to make your decision for yourself. You should not be worried about whether others think it's "wrong", all you should be concerned with is whether it's the right one for you.

Answer 10

Your bad relationships may be part of why you don't want a bf. But with patience everything will fall into place and the answers will come to you. The right guy will fall on your lap, you'll have a successful relationship, and you'll eventually have a baby. Just live your life, have fun, and try to achieve your goals in the meantime.