Is staring at people bad?

Question

I have this problem where I always look at people directly when they are talking to me. As in, I never turn away and rarely blink. Now this frightens a lot of people, especially girls and people get all mute around me. Although friends who know me get used to it.

I dunno why it is, but I can't really turn away if someone is talking to me.

So, uh, how could I still listen to people without looking at them? Whenever I turn away it's as if the person was just background noise.

Answer 1

yes.

look at them, not too close.

every once in a while, look down like you are listening and meditating on what they say, look back up.

blink, nod when you are looking down, insert a comment that shows you are listening when they talk like yes, uh huh, oh yeah, or laugh if something is funny when you are looking down.

look up from looking down with that  shy smile and look..

gets the girls EVERY time. ;)

nice that you are asking.

Answer 2

it does get disconcerting.

Answer 3

I think if someone is talking to you .it is important to have eye contact and personally i would think it quite rude if someone were to look away whilst i was speaking to them.

Answer 4

youre right...guys that stare at you unwavering are kind of creepy. i would follow everyone elses advice.

Answer 5

If you know it scares people and turns them off, you are going to have to make an effort to increase their comfort level. You don't have to turn away, but try looking down from time to time to break the stare. I think artificial blinking would not help.

Answer 6

It is polite to look at people while they talk. maybe just try to blink more so that people won't think you are crazy or something.

Answer 7

Yes, its odd for someone to have unmoving eye contact. Its good you realize that makes others uneasy.

The correct way to show people you are listening is to be an active listener. While someone is talking, make eye contact (bc it is necessary at some point of the conversation) then look away. Say things like "Right" and "Uh-huh", to show them that you are listening but arent staring them down. You can use you words to show you are listening, you dont have to stare.

Just try to look away more when your having a convo, but keep your body angled toward them so they feel like you are enganged in the conversation. Just blink and look away, say things like "Uh-huh", then look make eye contact for a couple seconds, then look away again.

It takes practice to be a good listener, but its worth it if you want to seem approachable.