Is that evil of us?

Question

I had a son, he's asian, statically shown that asian guys here in U.S don't have a chance of getting married. SO my sis is going to China next year to adopt a girl from an orphanage. Hoping that she will be come my daugher inlaw one day, is that awful?

Answer 1

I'm not sure of the legality I mean technically they'd be cousins.  It does seem a little disturbed, not to mention the Chinese have their own problem with male to female ratios so your just hurting someone else's chance.

Answer 2

Why can't asian guys get married? I think that race doesn't matter when it comes to things like that. I don't think it's evil. You are looking out for your sons interests. But, even if it doesn't work out with his adopted cousin, I'm sure he will have lots of girlfriends, despite the fact he's Asian. Be proud of your son. I'm sure he's handsome enough to when the heart of many females.

Answer 3

Your son is an individual, not a statistic!  I am more concerned about your attitude as his mother, than I am about his not finding an Asian woman to marry.

Look at it this way, if you're lucky, maybe he'll be g*y!

Answer 4

Wierd.....Don't put that kind of stigma on your son!  I know many many asian boys that are fairing just fine in the American dating world.  Statistics show a lot of things and if you live by them you better be doing more than flying to china for your future daughter in law.

Answer 5

huh.  that is a strange statistic.  my husband is Korean and Irish and i think he is the sexiest man i have ever met!  when we met he took my breath away!  well  that is a little, um strange to plan a marriage so to speak.  if your sister is going to adopt a girl, wouldn't they be cousins?  this is strange, indeed.

Answer 6

I don't even know where to start with this one! If I were you I would take a good hard long look in the mirror and figure out where it all started going wrong! Oh and while you're at it why dont you try to plan the rest of your family and friends' lives?! NOT!

Answer 7

no thats looking out for your son. but there is still better possibility for him to find a girl here in the u.s.a.

Answer 8

i thank that it is sick and odd.it is just a statically. it is not caved in stone. you are being very silly and your sis is just plan mean to bring some one into her heart and family to marry your son. how old is he? how do you know that he will want to get married?he may even turn to out be g*y

Answer 9

Doesn't that make you her aunt?  Blood doesn't make a family, just because they are adopted doesnt mean they are not related.

Answer 10

Why don't asian guys have a chance at getting married?  Perhaps if you're thinking of guys like that VA shooter guy then no he won't get married and for good reason.  

It's really sad to hear people's ignorant ideas about adoption and race.  I sincerely hope you don't have an adopted asian son.

Answer 11

You abdicate you son marrying his cousin? Don't you see anything wrong with that?

Answer 12

I'm confused by your 'statistic.'  I know plenty of married asian-american men, my husband is one of them.  I hope you have the patience and open mind to support your son's choice in partners if and when he is ready to marry.  I hope that your sister has other reasons for adopting from China besides arranging a marriage for her nephew.  I also hope that you welcome your new niece into the family without expecting her to fall for your son.

PS - In most states, it's illegal for cousins to marry.  Once an adoption is final, the law recognizes them as cousins.

Answer 13

It's very strange and twisted. Let nature run its course please!

He will get married if it's right for him when he is old enough!

Answer 14

Would have to see those statistics, because it sounds like BS. And yes, adopting a child for the sole purpose of marriage later is morally repulsive to me.

Answer 15

very weird

Answer 16

I've never heard of such a statistic.... Nature will have to run it's course - obviously. If they grow up together and fall in love, great - but don't push them together or they will resent each other.

BTW - your sister is adopting and you want YOUR son to have a chance with HER daughter? That's twisted - you're teaching him to keep it in the family or something crazy like that. Think of the moral involved in that....it's kind of weird, to say the least. :(

Answer 17

some coutries bethrothe but this is not a typical practice in US. I dont know were you get your data from but Asian guys are not always single. Many of them by choice do not marry. I have a few Asian guy friends that choose to be single.

Answer 18

Not evil, but ridiculous.  Of course Asian men get married.  And men rarely marry their cousins, adopted or not.  Both children will probably resent it later if they learn your silly plans.

Answer 19

It's not evil as long as you NEVER share these thoughts with your son. He and the adopted girl should never know. If they do, she will feel that she was only adopted to fulfill the purpose of marrying your son and he will feel pressured to marry her.

Answer 20

Asian guys have no chance of getting married...... where'd you get that statistic, uncycleopedia.org (spelling) Give him a chance, there's no gaurantee he will even like the other orphan, although she will be better off here than in China.

Answer 21

thers nuthing wrong with hoping, but if u decide to give ur wish a helping hand --------YES!!

Answer 22

It may not be awful, but he would be marring his cousin. thats gross. And many Asians are married in the US

Answer 23

Yes it is.  Its like in the old days when marriages where arranged.

Answer 24

Nope, its not evil at all, i think its cute but why dont you just let nature take its course, he'll get married when hes old enough. I've got friends who are asian and it wasnt hard for them to get married. Good Luck!

Answer 25

you mean marry an asian girl. thats a little too close to incest for me. once the adoption is done you will be the little girls aunt.

Answer 26

It's not evil or awful, but is certainly not ethical. Unless your sister *wants* a daughter, she should not adopt. Adoption should not be the purchase of a future bride.

Also, what happens if the adopted girl finds a boyfriend? Will she be denied  a boyfriend of her own choice? Will you deny your son a girlfriend if he finds one? I think forcing two individuals into marriage is not quite ethical.

You son will find his mate... he is so young, put him in a good school, make sure he is well adjusted in society (not just Asian society but American multicultural society) and make sure he is a *good* kid who grows up into a good, mature, productive adult. How can he not find a mate then?

BTW, do the stats tell you whether the chance is lower for boys who grew up in Asia and then came over or is it for all Asians? Stats are not always clear...

Answer 27

Not awful, just most likely not realisitic. My best friend and I dream that my son will fall in love with her daughter and vice versa, so we could always have holidays together - but most likely one or the other will think the other is a dork.

Answer 28

THAT'S HORRIBLE!

Answer 29

why don't she buy a brain while shes out there

Answer 30

Yes it is!!!!! YOu shouldnt force people to get married. If your son doesnt adopt then so be it, there are more important things in life. Dont use a Chinese girl just to marry your son, this girl has feelings too.

Leave him alone and let him make his own decisions in life. He may be your son but you dont own him

Answer 31

If that is the only reason to adopt yes it is evil, Children need a loving home were they are allowed to be happy. What if they grow up and hate each other will your sister still love the child? Do you think it is okay to do this to someone? It sounds like you already know the answer.