Is the 1st paragragh of my comparitive essay bad?

Question

Power, influence, role model, strength, dominance. Power can be explained in as many ways as it can be used. Which is shown well in the books “Lord Of The Flies” By William Golding and “A Separate Peace” By John Knowles. “Lord of the Flies” Takes place on an island at an unknown year, “A Separate peace” takes place at Devon School in New Hampshire during World War II.

Answer 1

its alright  i dont think your third sentence is actually a sentence

answer my question

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Answer 2

sorry, but it's actually quite badly written.

sentence 1 as well as sentence 3 are fragments. if you are writing an entire paragraph you should begin with a topic sentence (the one sentence that lets the reader know what the paragraph will be about. but don't announce it like 'this first paragraph will be about..." no, that's the biggest mistake you can make).

then, decide what comparisons you will make in the paragraph (you should actually think of this when writing ur topic sentence). make sure you use transitions that compare (on the other hand, however, unlike, etc.). support your claims with examples and valid reasons. and end with a concluding sentence. you really need to add more details to this paragraph.

Answer 3

I'm sorry but it looks like one big run on sentence even with the periods.

Answer 4

It should read as follows, including spelling and punctuation:

Power, influence, leadership, strength, and dominance are themes that are evident in both "The Lord of the Flies" bu William Golding, and "A Separate Place" by John Knowles. Power, being the most obvious theme, can be explained in as many ways as it is used in both novels.

Answer 5

your third sentence should be a thesis statement, your third sentence as of now sounds more like your second paragrapg opening sentence. best answer please

Answer 6

Is that your whole first paragraph? You may need to add more.

You should maybe be more specific with your question. So far that looks like part of a paragraph, but not a full one.