Is the abolition of marriage a necessary step for true gender equality?or other way around?

Question

By marriage I mean a state licensed mutual access to possessions and social benefits such as pensions health insurance etc. I don't mean a personal emotional commitment, just to be clear. In my opinion marriage is fundamentally in conflict with female empowerment: is allows for an easy access to wealth instead of focusing energy on on achieving something yourself.

Think work ideally should allow for self actualization of individuals and should not be only a source of income. If women "made themselves" there would be no need to marry rich husbands! But the question is: are ready to give up this cushion of security?

Answer 1

This question is posted in the assumption that all people get married for financial stability.

Getting married for me has nothing to do with money.  Either does being in a relationship.  Money plays no part in my emotional life.  Getting married is about love, commitment, choice, friendship, and the hopes to be together for the rest of your lives.  Not money.  

If I want to get something I can get it myself.  It's nice if my s/o gets something for me.  He gets me gifts all the time.  But I don't have to depend on him.

Answer 2

This is presupposing that women can't feel empowered by a commitment.  Women (and men) should feel confident in who they are as individuals, even when they have chosen to join together with another in a marriage.  Marriage is stating that" I feel so strongly about this other person that I'm willing to make a legal commitment to them.  That's what traditional marriage is anyway.  The bastardization of it by g**s and gold diggers and what have you has really watered it down.  As for it allowing easy access to wealth...?  I work 60 hours a week and my wife works 37 1/2, and she make much more than I do.  But even if the reverse were true, she would be not one iota less an empowered person.

If you want to make it on your own in the workforce with a significant other by your side, then by all means, have at it and good luck to you.  But if you want to get married, with all the legal ramifications and caveats that accompany it, then I still wish you the best of luck.  Each life is a solo journey regardless of who we travel with.  Make of yourself what you will and let others do the same.

Answer 3

Big difference between marriage and the marrying of rich men.  Why do you feel that marrying somehow eliminates a woman's desire or ability to 'make something of herself'?

Answer 4

No need to "abolish" marriage. It was abandoned a long time ago...and abandoned for a variety of reasons besides financial concerns.

People have been giving up this "cushion" for at least 40 years now.  During the sexual revolution of the '60s and '70s, more and more people began to eschew marriage. They were opting to cohabit instead...or to forge out happy and functional lives on their own as unmarried adults.

This in turn was viewed as a threat to traditionalists, which is the reason why 15 or so years ago, they began pulling out all the stops to try to convince society that marriage is the ONLY legitimate way to be in a relationship.  Rutgers University with their barely concealed conservative agenda launched the so-called Marriage Project as a way to abuse the academic system to promote marriage over all other forms of relationships.

but is it working? NO!

It makes me laugh the way some people are trying to turn marriage into some Holy Grail. As if wearing a wedding band means you are better than someone else.  Even g**s are pushing to be married now...as if that somehow will make them seem more legitimate to their detractors.

but despite all the efforts of conservatives to push matrimony as "superior"  even MORE people are choosing not to marry, and if they do choose marriage, they are marrying at later ages than people did 50 years ago.  

Statistically, the number of never married adults is higher than those who are married, divoced or widowed.  According to the census bureau, more than half of Americans (50.3%) are unmarried. Most of them are unmarried BY CHOICE!

At least 70% of black women are unmarried, according what was shown on the Oprah show.  

Even if a person does gets married, they will spend most of their life in an unmarried state than in a partnered state...and if you're a woman, that's even more of a fact since women tend to live longer than men.

It was true in the past, and it's true now...you don't need a piece of paper to prove you love someone and that they love you back.

and as for some of those "hippies" with their "free love" experiments? I know personally of a number of those couples who are now celebrating 20, 25 30, 35, 40, 45 years of being "Happily UNMARRIED to each other" and their celebrations are just as joyful and meaningful as the ones who walked down the aisle all those years ago.

Answer 5

if two people love each other and wish to be married then they should be allowed to do so, i never understood why some feminists feel that it is any of their business, after all no one's forcing women to marry, it's a personal choice between two people. Moreover marriage is not exclusively used as a cushion, but appearantly some poeple feel it is, there are bad people and good people some people marry for the right reasons and some people don't but ultimately it is their business not yours.

Answer 6

SAVE THE MALES!!!!

"Save the Males is a shrewd, amusing, and sure-to-be-controversial look at how men, maleness, and fatherhood have been under siege in American culture for decades. Kathleen Parker argues that the feminist movement veered off course from it’s original aim of helping women achieve equality and ended up making enemies of men. With piercing wit, this nationally syndicated columnist shows us how the pendulum has swung from the reasonable middle to a place where men have been ridiculed in the public square and the importance of fatherhood has been diminished–all to the detriment of women, who ultimately suffer most.

The real losers, should we continue on our present course, are not just grown men and women but our children. Young people involuntarily drafted into the squabbles of their parents’ generation and raised in a climate of sexual hostility–also known as the “hookup culture”–may be fluent in p**n, but their vocabulary is painfully limited when it comes to relationships. While Parker gleefully skewers the silly side of the human experiment–like men in dresses and sperm shopping–she offers sobering statistics on the impact of the anti-male culture on the institution of the family and on relationships.

Exploring our burgeoning “slut culture” and the vividly narcissistic prevalence ofvagina worship, Save the Males softens no edges. Parker tackles some of the more taboo subjects in today’s sexual politics and culture wars with perceptive analysis and a stinging sense of humor that will have America talking–and chuckling–about saving the males. "

Answer 7

correct spelling helps the reader understand what's being read.  gender equality should have nothing to do with marriage.  men have to accept that women can do whatever men can do probably better.  human equality comes when all people are seen for their true worth and not by gender or color or nationality.

Answer 8

AGREE.

Marriage should be done away with. That would be the biggest step in human progression. Marriage is straight out of the dark ages. You can commit without a piece of paper (but it requires A LOT more trust)

EDIT: Don't apologize about spelling mistakes. Only douche bags point out spelling errors. TRUTH.

Answer 9

Hey! I was going to post a question just like this last night (early morning here in Aus) <yawn>

Absolutely! My partner and I have struggled with the concept of marriage for a while now. I have been in 2 minds about it. But I have never liked what it 'represents' in terms of the origin of marriage and how it has always represented a males 'property rights' over a female. If anyone ever called me MRS 'HUSBANDS NAMES' I would hate that! I have my own name and identity thanks!

Do women also realise that the significance of your father walking you down the isle is about one man 'giving' over a woman to another man. I disagree very much with what this symbolises. It's almost humiliating!

So, yes, great question. I doubt howver it will ever be abolished, but we can make our own decisions not to do it.

:-)

Answer 10

I have not the slightest interest in being 'empowered' in the sense that you mean, that is I have no wish to be obliged to go out to work when I would rather be at home with my children, so I hope if marriage ever is abolished it will be after I am dead.  I have no wish to have to indulge in the exhuasting and unpleasant practice of 'juggling'.

Answer 11

I find this question very anti-feminist actually. You are assuming that women enter into marriages for money or financial security. And some do... That is their choice. But there are also single income marriages where the woman is the one working. Also, the percentage of dual-income marriages has been steadily climbing for a while now, meaning that both partners are contributing.

Also, marriage does not guarantee joint access to funds. If two people get married, they still have to either merge their bank accounts, or have their partner added to their account for them to gain access.

Finally, you seem to make this assumption that material or monetary wealth is the only way to make "achieve something yourself". I find this viewpoint very narrow minded. What is wrong with the wife who spends her day with her children instead of out working a job? She is not worthless!

Answer 12

hmmm, i so remember that question..

i believe marriage should be done away with, for practical reasons:

1.men and women do alright in a relationship prior to marriage and should be able to go on without it.

2.child care should be assumed by women, since they do have the choice to get pregnant, or otherwise.

3.eliminating marriage also does away with divorce, child-support and custody issues, and

4.only actual experience will disprove feminists' belief that women are oppressed inside marriage.. eventually, this move alone would kill feminism, for good.