Is the battle breathtaking enough?

Question

Trial of Sight

Part Eighteen

“Tonight I will taste sweet blood,”

tha dark voice whispered

Cara froze

but only for an instant

before she brought her hand down

upon the weapon aimed to slay her

“You have taken blood without consent

FAR too many times before,”

Her words came shocking

even to her own ears

The blade, in her hand, rose up

Her blind-sight gift from a witch

aiding in her aim

piercing flesh of Demon Wolf

“Taste your own d**n blood”

she spat and drove her knife further…

-This is STILL not the end… but there are very few left to go… the repetition at the beginning is simply for clarification of the identity of the voice from the previous poem… I would like to know your thoughts on how this one works in the series. Usually, my endings are week… I hope this one is better than my others…

Blessed Be in Justice and Love and Light, Siren

Answer 1

See, this has the feel of something I would write, only not as good as you, of course. There I go, stroking the ego. To answer the question, yes, the battle is breathtaking enough. People don't realize it, especially in the action movies, but the words said should be minimal, and there should be no monologuing. You brought this out quite well.

Answer 2

Breathtaking is the right word.  I read it quickly at first to find out what would happen, then again slowly to savor the words you use. This series is your best yet.  Your storytelling skill is developing with each new one and this story is captivating and intense. Thank you.

Answer 3

Cara is showing great courage - in the face of her adversary - while having a handicap of blindness.  Shows great strength of character. Question: where did she put her hand on the weapon? not on the blade (I hope). If it was aimed to slay her - how did she get a hold - of the hilt - in order to drive the knife in? ♥