Is the dowry just symbolic?

Question

What do people give as a dowry? Is it symbolic? How do they present it? Do they just give a little something symbolically or is it an actual sum that the woman is supposed to invest wisely.

Answer 1

the dowry can be anything.  It does not have to be money.  It can be money, or anything else.  Really it is something for the couple to decide and it varies also by culture.  From an islamic point of view, The prophet saws said "The best woman is the one whose mahr is the easiest to pay." (Reported by al-Haythami) and Allah swt said “And give unto the women, (whom ye marry) free gift of their marriage portions…” (An-Nisa’: 4)  so it is a serious matter and required for an islamic marriage.  And Allah swt knows best

Answer 2

Usually a virgin girl can ask for $10,000-30,000 for a dowry if it's arranged by parents. She should invest it. This is her security in case the marriage doesn't work out or he dies. If he has no money she should ask him to put the house in her name. She can make him buy her a car. Whatever will make her secure in her new life. Now's the time to ask, while he's still trying to impress her. Some western women, who are not used to the concept of dowry, and some eastern women, who don't know their rights, do not make use of this right. In Malaysia or Indonesia often women get nothing but a prayer rug. But the result is that on some level your husband might think you are a cheap woman. In fact some Muslim guys marry western women just because they can get away with not giving her a meaningful dowry. For most men, making a financial investment in the marriage up front will help them be serious about the relationship.

In terms of making the marriage halal, however, a big dowry is not necessary. He can give her a fruit, and if she accepts it, they are married in the eyes of God.  However Allah's Messenger (pbuh) said: If she asks you for a pile of gold, you should give it to her." Aisha asked for a list of about twenty items to help her run her household (utensiles and such).

Answer 3

Mahr is not a bride price. It is a woman's right and it signifies a husband's love and appreciation for his wife. In the Qur'an it is called "sadaqah" which means a token of friendship. It is also called "nihlah" which means "a nice gift or present." Mahr also signifies a husband's commitment to take care of his wife's financial needs (nafaqah).

“Mahr is a wife's right, which becomes binding upon the husband once the marriage is contracted. It is fully payable after the consummation of marriage but if divorce occurs before the consummation of marriage then half of the Mahr is required to be paid unless the wife or her guardians waive it. Allah says: “And give unto the women, (whom ye marry) free gift of their marriage portions…” (An-Nisa’: 4)

He Almighty also says: “And those of whom ye seek content (by marrying them), give unto them their portions as a duty…” (An-Nisa': 24)

Answer 4

Assalamwalaikum,

I dont think the dowry is just symbolic, it is stressed far too much and emphazized and practiced too greatly to be only a symbol. I think the dowry represents something deep, what it is i am still studying atm, inshallah i can get back to you when i do figure out what it truly is.

Salam  

Answer 5

actually dowry is illegal

in the quran it is stated that the man should pay the dower to the women

in places like pakistan and india it is a cultural tradition so it is no harm in not following it

Answer 6

1. dowry is a pre-requisite for a marriage,

   2. is to be paid by husband to his wife,

   3. should be equitable,

   4. the husband and wife can mutually make any adjustment to the dowry,

   5. forfeiting of the dowry does not apply to believers.

http://www.ezsoftech.com/Islamic/wedding...

Read this article of Imam Ali (as) giving the dowry to Bibi Fatima (as), daughter of Rasoolullah (Saww).

You shall give the women their due dowries, equitably. If they willingly forfeit anything, then you may accept it; it is rightfully yours.  - Quran 4:4

Answer 7

No they actually give amount of $ for the bride.

here in the US for my brothers wedding, they asked from us $10,000 for dowry. and PLUS he was paying for the wedding, so thats another 10 grand.

Answer 8

Praise be to Allaah.

In Islam the mahr (dowry) is one of the rights of the wife, which is hers to take in total and is lawful for her, in contrast to the widespread practice in some countries, where the wife is given no dowry. Evidence that the wife must be given her dowry is found in many places, for example the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “And give to the women (whom you marry) their mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4] Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “This refers to the mahr (dowry).”

It was narrated from Qataadah: “And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” i.e., it is obligatory. And it was narrated from Ibn Jurayj: “And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart”: he said: it is obligatory and the amount is to be named. It was narrated from Ibn Zayd concerning the verse “And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart”: the Arabic word nihlah (translated here as “with a good heart”) means: obligatory.

Tafseer al-Tabari, 4/241

Allaah has made the mahr obligatory for the man, who must give it to the woman, and not vice versa. This is what is indicated by the texts of the Qur’aan and also by the texts of the Sunnah. For example, al-Bukhaari narrated from Sahl ibn Sa’d that a woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I offer myself to you (in marriage). She stood there for a long time, then a man said: O Messenger of Allaah, marry her to me if you have no need of her. He said: “Do you have anything that you could give to her as a dowry?” He said: “I have nothing but this izaar of mine.” He said: “Look for something, even if it is a ring of iron.” So he looked but he could not find anything. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you know anything of the Qur’aan?” He said: “Yes, Soorah such and such, and Soorah such and such.” He said: “I give her to you in marriage in return for what you know of the Qur’aan.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4741; Muslim, 1325.  

Answer 9

it is the the man who pays Mahr(dower) to the woman . The following verses in the Qur’an proves that it is the man who is obligated to pay the Mahr (dower) to the woman unless the woman chooses not to take it.

"And give women (on marriage) their dower (Mahr) as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer." (Al-Qur'an : Al-Nisa' :4)

It can be anything money etc

Answer 10

ofcourse not.  It is from the groom to the bride as gift.  If he is capable the sum should be more, if he isn't, then the sum can be whatever the groom can afford.  

From the sunnah, the mahr can be sum of money, property (garden, house), or even just a small gift like dress, ring etc.  it can also be part of the Qur'aan the husband knows, so he will teach it to her (when he can't afford anything else).

It is whatever the bride is happy with and the groom is capable of.  It is not proper to give a dowry the bride isn't happy with, neither if the groom cannot afford it and has to use his credit card and pay interest, or a promise that he can never fulfil.  MUST NOT DO THIS... many people do this.  

They hold the amount may be $25 000 and then forgive it the next day, so they show off to people, or try to keep up with what others are doing but this is not correct.  The mahr doesn't need to be announced even.

And give to the women (whom you marry) their mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allâh has made it lawful). (An-Nisa 4:4)

O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allâh brings through it a great deal of good. (An-Nisa 4:19)

O Prophet (Muhammad SAW)! Verily, We have made lawful to you your wives, to whom you have paid their mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)....(Al-Ahzab 33:50)

Answer 11

The Dowry is given to the Bride-to-Be...This gift can be of monetary value or a physical item. The item should be decent and according to the Social class...nothing exquisite,but anything of value..The woman may ask for something in particular!!