Is the money dance really

Question

necessary? I just feel like that is just another way to get money out of the guests..especially since I know this couple that is doing it even though the parents are paying for the whole wedding. What do you think?

Answer 1

I think it's optional and up to the bride and groom, nobody else. It depends on how you feel about it.

Answer 2

As a guest, I've always thought it was fun.  Especially when I was younger (10 yrs. old or so).  I remember making sure I robbed my piggy bank for a few $ before leaving for a reception.  At my own wedding, I actually felt a little awkward doing it.  Most people seem to enjoy it though.  Of course it's not necessary; it is just one more decision the bride and groom have to make.

Answer 3

First of all, money dances are very tacky. As well as is anything else that suggests the guests spend more on the groom than they already have.

That having been said, the guests should not be expected to spend even more on the bride and groom when they get to the wedding. Not only is there the cost of the gift(s), but there's also an outfit to wear, and gas to get to the wedding. *Anything* done at a wedding reception that suggests the guests spend more on the bride and groom than they already have is highly rude and very tacky.

Answer 4

i personally feel its a really tacky way to beg for more gifts. your guests have already bought a present, and have made the effort to share your day with you, just let them have fun! however, on the flip side, i have been to weddings where the money dance was done, and i just didn't partake. i say to each his own... if your guests share my opinion they just won't participate....  

Answer 5

I felt the same way.  My sister got married two weeks ago and I am getting married in 8 weeks.  My whole family loves the dance.  When they heard I wasn't going to do it, they were very upset.  My opinion it's a pain in the butt too, but since my family wants it, I am going to do it.  

Answer 6

I personally think it's tasteless, but either way it's custom from very specific cultures not a norm.  

Answer 7

In my husband's family its a tradition.  Every wedding has it in their family.  Its not about the money really.  Its just for fun.  I got some of my best memories from my wedding during that dance.  

Answer 8

It is suppose to really just be for fun. We had dance with the bride for a $1, but I didn't really make anyone pay.  

Answer 9

money dance can be optioal

Answer 10

The money dance originated in Europe as a way to help the couple out with money. They didn't give gifts, so the money was the gift.

I think lots of people like it because they get a chance to dance with their guests. It is definitely a regional, cultural thing.

Answer 11

The money dance is absolutely NOT necessary ... most of the time.

Alas, few etiquette questions are black-and-white. Think about where you first learned of the money dance. Was it in a wedding magazine or website or talking to other girls about planning your wedding? Or was it at the first family wedding you ever attended as a pre-schooler and every family wedding since?

If the former, then probably a money dance is not only not necessary, but actually not proper. In mainstream western culture, any overt exchange of cash is offensive in a social situation. Any activity that involves taking money from your guests -- except, oddly enough, zero-sum gambling -- is considered a breach of hospitality.

HOWEVER, if every family wedding you've ever been to has had a money dance, then you have cultural roots that are outside the mainstream. In that case, refusing to follow tradition in favour of trying to follow the rules of the mainstream culture, looks like social climbing and self-hatred. If the custom is important in your family's culture, then out of respect for your family you should preserve it, if only with a minimal observance.

Answer 12

I think that it is a lot of fun!  Guests that want to give you money will, I don't think they will feel like you are begging for money.

Answer 13

Actually the money dance is very tacky.  It's akin to asking for money or gifts.  Etiquette says the dollar dance is a no-no.  

However, it's very common in many traditions.  Such as Italian.  They don't give gifts at all, but slip an envelope full of money into the bride's money purse as they are dancing.  In this case, it's not tacky but tradition.  But generally for those other, with the gift table right there and the guests who have already given their gifts, it's tacky to have a dollar dance to squeeze cash out of the guests.

Answer 14

It isn't necessary and not always expected.  We weren't going to do it and our guests actually requested that we do it.  In the end, I guess they wanted to give us cash and felt it was more personal than sticking it in a card.  Who am I to complain? We collected over $900!!!