Is their any research about the benefits of talking to young children during divorce.?

Question

is any one aware of any research about the benefits of sharing with young children ,whats going on between their parents during divorce ,or any research against talking to the children.

Answer 1

I am not sure about research but there are many books, children's books on divorce and different approaches parents should take while going through it.  Never talk bad about the other to or in front of the child.  Let the child know that it is not their fault and that mommy and daddy still loves him or her.  Let the child know that mommy and daddy still loves each other (hopefully) but they are just unable to live together anymore.  Always be opened with the child and answer questions as truthfully as possible but don't disrespect each other in front of the child.  That will cause the child to stress and worry.  Reassure the child by spending time with them, reading, singing, art, etc, always reminding them that you love them.  Again, be honest.  The child may not completely understand but try not to get frustrated with his or her questions.  I hope this is helpful

Answer 2

As an adult survivor of a separation, I can attest to the fact that talking to your kids is tantamount to ensuring they have the best chances at successful relationships in their future.

My mom separated from our family when I was 7, just for a summer. To this day, I've been going through life with nagging fear that women leave me, so in all of my relationships, I've acted with an intent to control the woman I'm with so she won't leave. I've never been physically abusive or stalker-ish, but I have engaged in emotional abuse.

I've only just learned this about myself. At the age of 37.

Do yourself and your kids a favor and talk about life with them. They're alive too, after all.

Answer 3

Do an inet search.  The more they know about a situation, the better they usually do.  

Answer 4

From what I've read, the more they know, within reason, the better because it is always the fear of the unknown that scares children re divorce; once they are reassured and know that it is not their fault and that their lives will have minimal change, they will be OK. Also the parents should never fight or raise their voices in anger around the kids.

Answer 5

The ongoing research suggests that children, even very young ones, have good instincts when things are not all rosy and loving. So you do need to say soemthing to them, to help prepare them for the painful and disruptive changes going on around them.  What you say depends so much on you, them, their age, the other parent, the circumstances, etc., but the best advice I ever heard was NOT to let the children become messengers or allies in the divorce.  They should be treated as neutral (as far a taking sides) and allowed to love both parents.

And for supporting evidence, I recommend you consult with a family therapist.  

Answer 6

the whole problem is your looking for research on whats best for your child. use your common sense. yes, being age appropriate honest w/ your children is always best.  Yes, talk to your children together if possible.  encourage them to ask questions.

you dont need some smuck to tell you how to raise your kids.  trust your instinct

Answer 7

I was very open with my kids and I have a great bond with them. Yhey live with me full time and see dad everyother weekend. They know how I feel and what I went thru and what their dad did. But I also make them feel that those are my feelings and they can love their dad that their relationship with him is different than mine and it is ok. They are 14 and 9 now and that was 6 years ago. They dont feel torn in any way. I am also open about many things  that others may not agree with but I will tell you what ,they have respect for me and I have 0 issues with them. People always comment on what great solid kids they are.

Answer 8

There's a ton of information out there about talking to your children about divorce. A simple Google search on "children divorce" will bring up a lot of results. Here's one link for you;

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/children...

Children should absolutely be talked to about divorce - but spare them the gory details. Tell them that mommy and daddy will always love them, but they don't want to be married anymore. And then make sure you never badmouth each other in front of the kids, don't pit one parent against each other, and be sure to keep the children's routine as normal as possible during the divorce process.

Good luck!