Is their anyone here who is in any of the armed forces that is married and has a child?

Question

Thinking a joining. I have a four year old and my wife is about a month and a half pregnant. I was wondering what it was like and if you could would you do it again.

Answer 1

It's really hard to get in with more then 1 dependent... my husband and I postponed our wedding until he graduated boot camp because he would've needed a waiver for me because we have a 2 yr old, it can be done but it's hard and there is a stack of paperwork the size of an encyclopedia Britannica... my advice is to talk to a recruiter and figure out you options

Answer 2

I would do it again, but our situation is a little different from the average military family.

My husband is in the Air Force.  We've been married almost 7 years and have a baby and a toddler.  My husband is a staff sergeant and works in the 9S100 job field.  His job is low-deploy.  He occasionally has to take one or two week trips to other bases in the US, but his job doesn't require any overseas travel.  We're very happy, but like I said, we're a little different.

Most Air Force jobs deploy an average of 180 days each year.  That doesn't always mean you'll be gone for 6 months out of 12.  It could mean that you'll be deployed overseas for 12 months and then be home for a year.  It depends on which job you choose.  Speak to a recuiter, but take everything he says with a grain of salt.  When he offers you job options, don't let him pressure you into making a decision on the spot.  Ask for some time to decide before you sign anything and do some research on the job.

I feel that my husband's decision to join was the best thing he could have done for us.  He was able to get an education, $20K worth of much-needed dental work and very valuable job experience.  I had two babies and didn't pay a penny for my prenatal care or hospital stay.  We live on base, which is very safe and within walking distance of the Base Exchange, doctor's office and my husband's workplace.

There are a lot of advantages to joining.  Just make sure they outweigh the disadvantages before you decide anything.

Answer 3

i joined at 24yrs old, married 4 yrs and has a five yr old daughter.  would i do it again? H E double L YES!!!

im a pretty dumb guy usaully (according to john kerry) and joining the ARMY has been my best decision ever.

oh and libspray is sorta right ... but not really. her information that was copied and pasted on here is about 1 1/2 yrs out of date for the ARMY.

Answer 4

Well my dad is. I'm 16 and my brothers are 14, 14, 12 and 8. We're all adopted but my Dad enjoys the work. He's in the Australian special air service. It's hard when he's away from home and we miss him. My mum struggles sometimes but we support each other. My dad is leaving in February because he says he's had enough of been away from home so much. He likes the job though it's just a conflict between time with the family and working. My mum doesn't work so he's the sole income provider in the house. He'd probably do it again and we are all proud of him. But it's so hard when he's away, especially if it's in a conflict zone. The worry gets us down a lot but it has a lot of benifits too.

Just something for you to think about (i'm not trying to put you off) What would it be like for your family if you were killed?

That's the constant worry i have about my dad been away from home, we wait every night for his phone call and then sometimes when it doesn't come for whatever reason we assume the worst. It's never been a serious reasons why he hasn't called it's usually because he's tied up or he isn't in a position to a phone but we still worry. Thankfully my dad is very rarely away home. He says he misses us like crazy when he is though. He misses the little things the most like our school events and reading my little brother a bedtime story. He misses my mother a lot as well, and she misses him.

Answer 5

In general, DOD prohibits the enlistment of any applicant who has more than two dependents under the age of 18. While the services are allowed to waive this policy, they often will not. In fact, most of the services are even more strict in their policies.

The Navy, for example requires a waiver for any applicant with more than one dependent (including the spouse). To receive a waiver, the applicant must show that they are financially responsible (which means the Navy will check their credit report).

In the Marine Corps, a waiver is required if an applicant has any dependent under the age of 18.

The Air Force will do a financial eligibility determination (see below) if the member has any dependents at all.

The Army requires a waiver if the applicant has two or more dependents (in addition to the spouse).

The Coast Guard requires a waiver if there is more than one dependent (other than spouse), unless the applicant is enlisting in the grade of E-4 or above, when the limit is two dependents (other than spouse).

For enlistment purposes, a "dependent" is defined as:

a. A spouse, to include a common law spouse if the state recognizes such; or

b. Any natural child (legitimate or illegitimate) or child adopted by the applicant, if the child is under 18 years of age and unmarried, regardless of whether or not the applicant has custody of the child. The term natural child includes any illegitimate child when: the applicant claims the child as theirs, or the applicant's name is listed on the birth certificate as the parent, or a court order establishes paternity; or if any person makes an allegation of paternity that has not been finally adjudicated by a court; or

c. A stepchild of the applicant who resides with the applicant if the stepchild is under 18 years of age; or

d. Any parent or other person(s) who is/are, in fact, dependent on the applicant for more than one-half of their support.

In general, for enlistment purposes, an applicant is considered to be without a spouse (unmarried), if:

a. Common law marriage has not been recognized by a civil court, or state law.

b. Spouse incarcerated.

c. Spouse deceased.

d. Spouse has deserted the applicant.

e. Spouse legally separated from the applicant. (For the Army, separation by "mutual consent" is sufficient.)

f. Applicant or spouse has filed for divorce. (Note: If the divorce action is "contested," the service may deny enlistment until after the dispute is resolved in family court).

______________

Basically, you may not be able to get in, it depends... talk to a Recruiter.

Yes, I would do it over again, except, I'm still doing it. Good Luck.

Answer 6

I was in the military (dual military) and now I am out with my husband still serving. We have a 4 year old as well and a 1 year old. Depending on which branch you are considering, there are certain things that you have to keep in mind. You will be separated...and it could be a long period of time. My husband is in Iraq right now...12 months down with 3 to go. And it is hard, but we are a strong family and we're doing fine. Other families don't do as well. You need to make sure you guys understand the potential for separation and if that is something you both think you can handle. Also, she will need to understand (and this is a hard thing to come to terms with sometimes) is that the military owns you and it will always have to come first...no matter what. There will be (on occasion) missed holidays and anniversaries and birthdays. There will be times when weekends are taken and long days when you may not be home at dinner. On the flip side though, it truly makes you appreciate the moments that you do have together and how precious your family really is. We would do it again b/c our life has made us who we are.

Answer 7

I'm married and have four kids and have been in the Army for 23 years.  You need to ask your wife how she would be separated from you for long periods of time - whenever we deploy anywhere or go to extended schooling our spouses become in effect single parents.  Some handle it well and others don't.  You also need to ask yourself can you spend extended periods of time away from your wife and kids for the same schools and deployments?  

The military provides great health care for you and dependents and a chance for your family to travel around the country again some like this semi nomadic life while others prefer to stay in one place.  I wouldn't change a thing but I do know others who would.

Answer 8

speaking from experience,marriage and the military are not that great of a combination.your kids need a present and accounted for dad,and it just aint gonna happen in the service