Is there a better way to explain to a 4yo that our 18yo golden retriever is dying of cancer?

Question

I've been trying to explain death and heaven, but she's so young that it's hard for her to understand. She thinks dog heaven is on the moon, (she also calls heaven "the sky") and she thinks she can build a rocket ship to see her whenever she wants. My daughter thinks our dog will be happy in "the sky", playing, running through trees, and eating moon cheese. She also thinks she can go with our dog when she goes to "the sky." -via rocket ship

As you can see, I have a problem. So what's a better way to explain death to her?

Answer 1

I agree with Katie.  I think she has a very comforting way of picturing her dog's heaven, and that works for her.  Young children have very abstract and vivid imaginations, and so therefore their reasoning tends to stay in the abstract realm of thinking.

Answer 2

It's OK for her to think she can do that. Let her use her imagination it will help her get through her grieving for the dog.

Give it time she'll figure it out sooner or later.

Answer 3

I don't see a problem with her thinking that. If she misses the dog then she can pretend to build a rocket ship and go visit it. I don't think that's a bad thing. It's good for her to think the dog will be happy in her vision of heaven.

Answer 4

Keep it simple.  She's too young to grasp the concept of death and the location of heaven.  It doesn't matter where she thinks heaven is, whatever makes her comfortable at this age is appropriate.  Just let her know that her dog will be happy and safe when he/she dies.  There's plenty of time for her to realize that fantasy and reality are different and that the moon isn't made of cheese, so to speak.

I'm so sorry about your dog.  Our Golden is 15, with cancer, too.

Answer 5

You can tell her that the Dog is going on vacation. Its easy to tell young kids that until they can fully understand death.

Answer 6

maybe in her mind thats her way of dealing with death she is still too young to understand the whole grasp of death and that once their gone you can never see them again. I would just explain to her that heaven is a place you cant visit and that your dog will be very happy there in the doggy park and playing with other doggies. And here on earth she is in pain and that once she goes to heaven her booboo's dont hurt anymore. Well good luck and sorry to hear about your dog.