Is there a cure to loneliness?

Question

Ever wake up wondering how in the world am i going to pass this day by? It seems I'm fighting a battle with myself everyday. One half of me wants to do absolutely nothing, talk to no one, just be in my own company.

This is because, how can I talk to others when I'm so miserable. What use will I be? Ill just be dragging the other persons mood down as well. If someone is upset, how can I cheer them when I dont feel happy. Also, I feel selfish because hearing other people happy, makes me jealous. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them but jealous that why can't I be happy too. The other half is fearful of what will happen if I continue down this path of isolation. I also don't want to be a constant annoyance to anyone by always being the person who is down.

I'm not athletic. I dont have any skills like most people. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go to therapy, I'm a psych student. Being a student leaves me in tight financial situations. Gas prices are ridiculous therefore I go nowhere. I do need some advice. I'm not happy. I feel I can't trust anyone with my happiness either, because experience has shown that whoever I trust.. leaves me, and takes part of me with them. Please help

Answer 1

You've got SERIOUS depression issues, my friend:(  

Answer 2

Don't feel lonely because your not alone. Depression affects many many people some times it just a faze and other times it can last years. It is your own brain that makes you feel that way. I have a problem with that too. Right now I am reading 2 books one called stumbling upon happiness and Change your brain change your life-I hope they work . As for you I hope you find a way to change your negative attitude into a positive one, and find a way to lift your spirits good luck.

Answer 3

I know you hate hearing this...but the first bit of good news is that you are not alone.  Unfortunately, tons of people wake up feeling the same way every day and walk through life as you do.

Please do not take that as an intention to diminish the importance of your situation.  Believe me, how you feel is the most important thing in the world, and what you're going through is of significant and tangible importance.  Never forget that.

It sounds like you observe a lot about others and see things in them that you want for yourself (athletics, popularity, personality type, happiness, etc.)  Do you want those things because you truly want them, or just because it seems like everybody else has them, why shouldn't you?  Do you ever take any time to just be happy and appreciate who you are as a person and what you like to do?

Sorry, I know, you're rolling your eyes right now since you've probably heard the above a million times.  So let's change gears.

Unfortunately it sounds like you need to steel your resolve and do a very difficult thing...step outside your comfort zones.  If you want to socially interact with people, then do it.  Start small, few people you know in your class having a dinner somewhere cheap/close then go to a study session together.  Invite a few people over to wherever you live to do whatever it is you like (play games, watch TV, watch a movie, sit around and just talk, listen to music).

Sound like too much too soon?  Then go out in the world and start by "finding smiles from strangers".  Put a smile on someone else's face, and see if one shows up on yours.  When you go to the supermarket or convenience store, hold the door for a stranger.  If they thank you, look them in the eye and say "You're welcome".  Thank the kid who bags your groceries.  Tell a clerk to "Have a good day".  So few people hear those things anymore that you'll get some thank yous and some smiles.  Go home and think about how your day resonated throughout the world.  Maybe you made someone's day, maybe somebody got home from a long day of work and was nicer to their spouse and children because they smiled, maybe someone who was going to be late got where they needed to be on time, etc.  Congratulations, you were a part of making somebody's day better, and hopefully it made your day better.  Plus, you had social (yes, limited) interaction that brings your skills and confidence back to the surface.

Now for therapy.  If you don't believe in it, then why are you bothering to be a psych student?  If others don't believe in it, how do you expect to get a job or make a dollar after school?  Your job isn't to diagnose yourself, that's somebody else's.  You know as well as I do that therapists have their own therapists they go and see.

I'm sure you're also smart enough to realize you're suffering from depression.  I'm sure you've studied it plenty, its causes, its symptoms, and its remedies.

You're only going to get better if you want it for yourself.  You have to muster up a little bit of passion for it.  Just like your grades and your degree, if you're going to get it, you have to want it first.  It's obvious to me that you want to, because despite your aversion to therapy, you came to an open forum to ask complete strangers.

Finally, start with small things like not overly associating yourself with your condition.  Sometimes I'm sure the misery feels good...but does it really?  I noticed your nickname here began with "desolate".  If you refer to yourself that way, how do you expect to get better?

Start yourself on the path, take little steps at first, and the big ones ahead will get easier (or even disappear).  You obviously want to get better, so make it your goal above all things.  You obviously believe you can get better, so keep that belief in yourself strong.

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel. The only difference between you and me is that you are a psych student and i'm struggling to pass year 10 in school.

You sum it up... Exactly how i'm feeling, sorry if this is no help and i'm just going on about myself.

I feel a little brighter knowing that someone out there feels the same.

Go to a doctor, i did. He told me I wasn't depressed. If you ever get that answer - Persist. Get a second opinion. I am going to get one soon.

I hope you find the light.

- Lily  

Answer 5

It sounds like you are depressed.  Talk to your doctor so he or she can put you on something.  Please get some help.  I got depressed after I found out my dad has cancer.  I was on antidepressant for about two years.  I am off now and I feel much better.

Answer 6

Well for one you cant let someone make you happy. I used to make that mistake too. Second if your lonely and not putting yourself in situations to make new friends and have fun you will always be lonely. I'm a college student too broke as a joke so i know how you must feel. the whole "i go no where" can be fixed, take a bus carpool walk. Another thing sounds like you've given up on yourself  well i've done that too. give it time and if you want to be happy you will be.

1. set yourself up in situations where you can meet people and make friends.

2. trust yourself with your happiness no one else.

3. go to the bar and take advantage of drunk women!

Answer 7

If you are a student, there must be a free clinic on campus for students.  You need professional help.  Get it before your mood gets worse, as it certainly will if you do nothing.  

That said, the best thing I can think of is for you to do some volunteer work.  Try nursing homes, tutoring, anything close enough to walk, bike or take the bus.  Stop making excuses and DO something.

Answer 8

you are down in the dumps ha you just have to find your feet well you just have to cheer yourself by thinking off where you will be when the long hard road is over when your all cashed up with that new car and a full tank off gas and then when its time to look back it would have all looked so easy and as for the trust you have to trust as that's a part off learning and to make us aware off what to look for and how to read people I'm 48 and still learning so i hope you cheer up soon as its a long road when your sad  

Answer 9

Get moving! Volunteer to help others (hospitals, nursing homes, tutor another student, etc.) Take a bus & go out to a stable & ask if you can groom someone's horse (eventually, they may even let you ride!), or go to your zoo & ask to become a 'docent' [learn about an animal & then you'll talk to visitors, telling them all about the wonderful world of animals. A horse or any animal is a great sounding-board & a wonderful friend who will listen to you faithfully.

Exercise 20 minutes everyday; WALK, if nothing else. See the sun rise, listen to birds, stop & smell the roses. Watch the magic of the moonrise, talk to Nature. Stand by a waterfall & pour out your heart (the ions of the waterfall are energizing, too). Just do it! Good luck. :)

Answer 10

There is a cure for lonliness.You have to decide each day to be happy ,regardless of your circumstances.You say you are on a tight budget,and cant afford gas.You are probably frustrated because of your finances.Even if you cant go to far, happiness can come from doing for others even if it is smiling at them.Look around your area here you are.Is there any aged persons who can be helped by a visit from you.Do something today and begin

Answer 11

Don't let the others scare you into a real depression.

I've been the same way before, I don't really have any friends, maybe two at most and they live across the country. I'm usually by myself and I'm overweight and have horrible social skills. So basically I'm a pretty bad-lookin' guy who couldn't use his words correctly if it would save his life. But I still move through loving life and everything it has to offer.

But if this really is depression, you have to make the commitment to change, you have to take up arms and fight the good fight. Don't give in to depression and just give up, you sit there and you tell yourself every day that you don't want to be depressed and you work towards fixing it.

If need be, see what a psychologists opinion is, it doesn't mean something is wrong with you or you're 'depressed' but, if you tell them the way you feel, they can understand it and find good tips and tricks to help you change your outlook on everything.

I only hope the best for you my friend in the journey.