Is there a diagnosis for this??

Question

My son has started laughing at me when I punish him. (He just turned 3) I mean, I can be madder than all get out, and he just laughs. I think he's doing it to really push my buttons. For example, today, I was yelling at him and I know my eyes were all bugged out and I was red in the face screaming, and he looked up at me and poked me in the eye. I know, sounds funny, but I wanted to beat him! If I put him in time out, he thinks it's funny. I've gotten to where I have to buckle him into his booster seat and put him in his room. Its the only way I can get him to understand that it's punishment. If I spank him, he could care less! He'll continue doing crazy things. He's been evaluated by a behavioral therapist who has called his "normal" behavior, but I'm about ready to get a second opinion. He's just started pre school...should I ask them about it? Any other parents have kids like this?! And now my second baby (he's 21 months) is starting to do the same things. I need a drink...

Answer 1

Can I have a drink too?  I would ask his teachers if he does this at school too or if it is just with you.  And try a different punishment like taking away toys or putting him in a place that he doesn't like.  The trick to a punishment is that it has to be something not harmful but something that the child will not like.  I take away my son's light sabers and it is the END of the world.

Answer 2

He could be scared because it sounds like you're freakin out. Laughter can come from fear as well as fun. You're not in control. He could just find it funny but I'd be willing to bet it's fear.

He needs re-assurance that you are in control. Avoid the booster seat it shows that you've lost it and he might get hurt.

If he is laughing, ignore him, put him on time out (a toddler chair, bottom stair away from toys and distractions) if he gets up, put him back. Say nothing and make no eye contact. You're going to have to do this A LOT of times so be prepared. I would advise saying nothing because if you do, you will get mad. Once he is sitting he needs 3 minutes (max.) Ignore all screams and cries and don't get into any conversations with him.

When he finally does his 3 minutes you need to tell him why you put him there and he needs to make eye contact with you and say sorry.

Eventually you will only have to warn him about time out and he will change his behaviour. Plus you won't be knocking years off your life by going bug eyed and screaming. You're right that is pretty funny ;)

I meant to say the key to all discipline is tone of voice and eye contact. Always state clearly when something is not acceptable. You never need to ask them to behave, you need to tell them to behave. Do this firmly with confidence in yourself, you can state it many times without shouting, it is 100% more effective in the long run.

Answer 3

This is normal but its not them and they do not have a disorder.  Children NEED consequences for thier actions.  Its not all about timeouts.  Tell him if he does not stop this behavior you will take something away (such as a favorite toy)  and stick to your guns!!!  He is laughing at you because he disrespecting you.  Earn his respect by stop screaming and lay down the rules.  If someone screams in your face what is your first reaction???   You would be mad right??? You would scream back???   That is how he is feeling too.  Give him control of the situation by giving him a choice of bad behavior or a consequence.  Also give him good consequences for his actions.  Give him responsibilities... if you clean your room we will take a walk to the park.  The main thing is stick to one dicipline and follow through!   My daughter is 3 and she tests my husband horribly because he doesnt follow through.  She knows when mommy is around she better behave.  You just have to show them who is boss not by screaming and making empty threats.  Find out what he is most threatened by (taking toys/privlidges away etc.)  and follow through.  Good luck!

Answer 4

My daughter is 11 months and laughs at me when I scold her. My niece is two and does that same thing when her mother scolds her. Best thing I can tell you is to ignore the behavior. If they stopped doing whatever they weren't supposed to be doing and are now just laughing at you, then ignore them. They are just trying to get a rise out of you and the angrier you get, the funnier it will be to them. Don't let them get a reaction out of you and they'll get bored with it. I wouldn't recommend buckling him in his booster seat as a punishment. If anything, send him to his room with no toys for a few minutes.  

Answer 5

This is not funny, and will get worse if you don't install some firm discipline.  There is nothing wrong with your child other than out of control behaviour.  Stop screaming!  It doesn't work. I suggest that you watch "Super Nanny" on T.V. and get some tips.She deals with kids like this all the time.

Answer 6

some kids are mild and wont test you like he is.... but its still normal.. my suggestion is this:  number one DO NOT scream at the top of your lungs and get all red in the face (your upsetting yourself more than you are him) instead speak in a raised stern tone but not a yell keep your voice clear and let him know you mean business and are upset at his actions but not to the point where he knows that he has got you frustrated (which probably excites him to know he has this control over you) #2 dont beat him (this does work with some kids) but yours i can see wont, he'll probably only laugh at that too... keep doing the buckle in chair (if thats unpleasurable) make sure he doesnt like the punishment... and then stay consistant you may have to keep putting him in the room in the chair over and over.. i think the problem is he does not dis-like his punishment enough.. so he continues the behavior cause the punishment is NOT bothering him much (he figures "oh well").... so maybe try to put him in the chchairuckled with the light off (if this is something he will really dis-like?) i think you should also try that "123" counting this worked great with my son gave him a chance to know he was doing wrong and time to change the behavior before a punishment was given.... the off light too might help him to calm down.. (if hes left in the dark quiet environment