Is there a genetic predisposition we have in having your own child and do you agree about adoption?

Question

I was discussing with my friend the other day about adoption. I told him I want to adopt maybe two kids and take care of them. He kinda got funny and said I should have my own child before I adopt. I got angry with him and told him biological or not a child is a child and I will love that child equally. When we brought this to his father he also said the same thing. I should have my own before adopting. I got really angry at this point because I found their remakes selfish. I don't see how having my own child will help me raise an adopted one. My questions are is there a genetic predisposition we have in having your own child? Can you give some sources if you can. (I want to adopt because I believe there alot of children out there who needs family and rather have my own child, I can adopt one.)

Thank to those who will answer.

Answer 1

To most there is no difference in the love and nurturing to their children being adopted or not..

Like your friend and your friend's father some people act like adopted children are not blood, so its not a good idea .. at least until you have your own.. maybe thinking after you do you won't want an adopted child..

I. like you find this kind of thinking hard to digest..

Children become part of us, our love, nurturing and teaching become theirs, no matter if they are blood or not..

I myself find there is no difference in whether you adopt or have your own..

If there is love in your heart, there is love for any child..

That is my opinion..

Answer 2

Most species have some kind of drive to reproduce.  Individual organisms are born, mature, spread their genetic material, and die, leaving behind their offspring who complete the same cycle.  The individuals who have a drive to reproduce are the ones who pass on their genes, which usually include a drive to reproduce.  The individuals who do not have a drive to reproduce are less likely to pass on their genes, including their lack of reproductive drive.  You'll observe this whether you're looking at humans or hamsters.

I, for one, have a desire to be a parent but am very apathetic about passing on my DNA to the next generation.  For some reason, I've always felt "kids are kids" and even that it would be inefficient for me to have biological children when there are already so many children in the world.  "There's no shortage of babies, so why do we keep making more?" I'd wonder.  

Now, though, I've come to understand and accept that some people do feel a biological need to reproduce.  It's not 100% about having children -- it's also about passing on their legacy, literally producing a new person who is a 50-50 combination of themself and their mate, resurrecting grandpa's blue eyes and the Germanic forehead that your family has carried since before the discovery of America, etc.

As for me, I'll adopt.  Sure, I'm quite fond of my own DNA, and I think it would be really neat to have a child made of bits and pieces of everyone else that I love... but just because it's "neat" isn't enough of a reason for me in a world full of babies already.  My parents and I have the same DNA, but we don't enjoy the same things and have very different personalities... and we love each other anyway.  I could love a child as my own even if they didn't act like me or look like me or enjoy what I enjoy.  I believe, though, that many people really couldn't love an adopted child as much as a biological child.  Those are the people who say hurtful things like "Wouldn't you rather have your own child?"

Answer 3

My husband is among those who wants his "own" child- whereas I have always wanted to adopt (at age18 I found out that conception could be difficult to impossible... we're ttc- it's been just shy of a year now). My thought is that a child is a child is a child... I would love him or her no matter what.  I think the issue at hand is more sociological or anthropological in nature rather than clinical. We live in a culture that rewards individuals who have children and casts a curious eye on those who don't.  Love is born of the heart not of DNA.

Answer 4

I think it has more to do with being familiar with adoption at an early age. None of my friends would even consider adoption as an option, but, none of them were raised around foster kids. My parents fostered when I was young and I had friends that were adopted. Even my husbands younger sister is adopted. Adoption feels more natural to me then having my own would feel. Though, if we're lucky, I'd like to do both. I also see absolutely no problem with inter-racial adoption. Just about everyone I know would be against that too.

Answer 5

A child is a child weather its your bio kid or your adopted child. It also depends on your state of mind too. It might be different for you as you could have bio kids and just chose to adopt. That might make it better for you. Instead of not being able to have bio kids and your only option being adoption. I think the way you think is amazing and I wish more people would do so. There are so many kids who need a good home .

Answer 6

I don't think there are any difference if you adopted an infant. There are major difference if you adopting an older child. I watched an documentary the other day, it described the life of adopted teenager, how he led a life of disappointments and had to be escorted away by police. I think if you already have certain values in you when you're growing up, it's kind of hard to change your behavior, but I'm not saying you shouldn't try to adopt an older child

Answer 7

I've been told there's no difference, and I've heard there's a difference, and I guess in the end it's the people involved.  I do know that watching a baby grow week by week is magical, and there are millions of ways to interact with a fetus (and hey, you get to pick the names!)  Adoption is great, too, but it can have restrictive guidelines.

Answer 8

i honestly believe there is a predispositon to reproducing. we have all heard of that biological clock ticking away. mother nature works her ways i guess and having children is just the cycle of life. but as to whether or not adoption falls in to the catatgory of completing that "circle" is entirely up to the parents involved. i honestly cannot imagine adopting right now, though i have two children of my own. it is because of people like you that so many children out there get the good home they need and deserve. now if your way to "reproduce" is adoption, go for it! and i thank you in the name of all those nameless and faceless children out there who otherwise woudn't stand a chance! i honestly can't tell you where to go about it but i would get in touch with the local child welfare center and get informed there. starting off as a foster parent could be a way to go before you settle down with a child of "your own". and even if you didn't name the kid yourself.. you raised that child and that makes you mama regardless! the best of luck to you and gods blessings!

Answer 9

what does predisposition mean?

Answer 10

my byfrnd pitched a fit when i mentioned adoption. he is set on wanting only biological kids. i am for it.

some ppl just don't want to raise a child that is not biologicaly theirs. to each their own.

Answer 11

Yes, l think for SOME people they are genetically pre-disposed to parenting when it comes to biological children.  There are some people who could never feel the same about a child that wasn't biologically theirs.  lMO, that's fine for them, it would be a poor world if we were all the same.  However, l also feel that some people (myself included), can parent a child who is adopted the same way, and experience exactly the same maternal/paternal feelings.  Bottom line, do what feels right to you, and love your children as much as you can, regardless of how they come into your life!  Good luck!

Answer 12

I think adoption is great and there are so many babies in need, but where I live, adoption is a very long and tedious procedure that doesnt always end up with a happy ending.

I do believe that you can love an adopted child like your own, I have 5 of my own, but have fostered children off and on in emergency cases, and when you have a child for a period of time, you do come to love it, (even for me, when I know its not mine and its leaving)  

goodluck with everything.

Answer 13

You just do not have enough information.  Having a child -- through biology or adoption -- is most definitely having a child of your own.

Genetic predisposition?  Well, maybe at the same rate as those who want a girl child, or a boy child, or those who want no children, or those who want 10.  Biology (nature) is just one part of who we are.  Environment (nurture) plays a huge role as well.  And then, our own being, who we become, who we are as a whole, through our choices or experiences or circumstances -- that contributes greatly to who we are as well.

How much is each part?  Varies from person to person!  Humans follow NO  PATTERN!!!

It does not surprise me at all that these two comments about having a bio child "first" came from males!  Only a woman knows what is is really like to be a mother.  And a mother, a real mother, can love any child with whom she is entrusted.

Diversity!  Choices!  Free-choice!!  That is what makes the world go round!

Answer 14

Adopting isn't for everyone.  Certainly not for your friend!  But, it sounds like you'd be a good candidate for adopting!

We have 3 children.  One is adopted.  They are ALL "our own".  There is absolutely no difference in the way we feel about any of them at all!

Answer 15

I think its a male/female thing, maybe coz women have the nurturing and mothering instinct.

My boyfriend and I already have 1 child but just recently I was telling him how I would like to adopt, preferably overseas from a poor country.

But he said 'why do you want to adopt when you can have your own kids?'

I found this remark to be thoughtless and selfish. So we just agreed to disagree.

I'm hoping to convince him about adopting in the near future.