Is there a group for gf of recovering alcoholics?

Question

My friend is with a guy who has been sober for almost 5 years now. She goes to open AA meetings with him some times but would like a place where she can go to talk with other girlfriends of recovering alcoholics. She has never seen him active so she can't relate to any horror stories so she doesn't really want to go to Alanon...because she thinks that is all she will hear. Can anyone give me some advice for her? She lives in NY. Thanks!

Answer 1

There is a lot more to Alanon than the horror stories, I'd suggest she try a few different meeting, preferably in different areas so she doesn't get the same people, and go from there.  Since an alcoholic can never be truly cured, there are some aspects of his disease that she, not being an alcoholic herself,  might need help understanding, and the people in Alanon are good group of brains to pick.

Answer 2

Why does your friend think she needs to talk to other girlfriends of "recovering" alcoholics?  I wonder if she thinks that they will help her understand the bizarre behavior of a fully indoctrinated AA member who tells her that she cannot understand him because she isn't an alcoholic.

In any case, she's right, Al-Anon won't help.  Al-Anon dogma is exactly the same as AA's and teaches that the family and friends of alcoholics also have a "disease" requiring a "spiritual solution."  

My advice to her is to realize that the whole notion that only an alcoholic can understand another alcoholic is complete c**p.  The only thing they really "get" that others can't is the compulsion to drink...other than that, alcoholics are human beings, and can be understood perfectly well by others.

Answer 3

  All I know about Alanon is from a friend who grew up in an alcoholic environment but wasn't one herself.  As I read your message, she has and an impression of Alanon but hasn't gone to one yet.  Suggest she try or at least talk to the leadership of the group about her concerns.

Answer 4

wrong section.