Is there a point when too much discipline can be given???

Question

I have a six year old daughter that is not listening and being too chatty and sometimes lying about situations in school. I need some advice on how to approach her father on how he's handling things in his home. He makes her sit at the table writing the letters of the the alphabet for days at a time and when she finally has a green day ( which is a great day at school) he still makes her sit at the table writing the alphabet. He says he is doing this to make her earn back the things she likes. This is not how I handle things at home. We have quiet time and she has to tell me what she did at school. We then talk about what she needs to do to have a better day the next day. Of course sometimes the punishment is no TV or snacks that she likes for that evening. for every good day she gets a star sticker and a dollar and at the end of the week if she has had all good days she gets to go to the store. I am trying to be open minded about how she is treated at his home. Is he going over board?

Answer 1

six is very young, seems that the steps you are taking would be very effective and maybe dad should come up with something along the same lines.  I have 2 kids around the same age (5 and 7)  They have the same kind of charts at school with the green, yellow and red. There was 1 parent this year doing the same thing, his girl was on red all the time until he started giving her a dollar a day if she was on green and she would have to give him one back if she was on red and then he would take her shopping, she is ALWAYS well behaved now at school!

Answer 2

First of all, having her sit down and write the alphabet doesn't address the behavior that he is trying to "discipline". All it does is get her out of his hair for a while. It doesn't make sense. Also, if this is going on for days on end, she will lose sight of what she is being disciplined FOR. She's only six, and probably doesn't have that kind of attention span. She will just know what he wants her to do, at best, not why.

It would be much more effective to sit her down, explain to her what she is being diciplined for and why is was wrong. Find out what's on her mind. Then, if further discipline is needed, find something that makes sense. (ie, if he prefers to have her write, and she is in trouble for lying, or being disrespectful, have her write an apology to the person she offended).

Much respect on the rewards system BTW. Positive reinforcement is great, and sometimes it is much more effective to make a really big deal about when she does WELL, and address it but don't obsess on it when she doesn't.

I hope this helps.

Answer 3

yes you can give too much discipline. shes being all chatty and stuff with you because she knows she will get away with it, and she cant do it with her dad. you cant force a child to be still constantly they have to get out and about(within reason) to develop properly, being silent all the time is not a good thing language skills wont develop right. btw punishment is not a good teacher check up psych research. the dad needs to learn that while pretty much everything is a privilege she has to have some privileges. also tell him hes a prat having her write the alphabet if hes going to make her work at least make it fun or somthing diffrent

Answer 4

My 2nd grader lied about no homework for 3 weeks, come to find out it was all in his desk. I made him sit for 3 days until it was done.  He also lost priveleges over that one. He hasnt done it since. I do think he needs to give her praise when she has a good day. He needs to find something else that will impact her.