Is there a reason for this? 10pts best answer.?

Question

Me and my mother fight A LOT, not just like bicker, like all out rage, sometimes she doesn't even do anything and i just want to like kill her( not litterly ) but, yeah, she's done things in the past, that she wishes she could take back, and i will NEVER forget, and when i tell her, i don't trust her and never will, she says " i don't really care "

is this just teen hormones and will stop, or is it something much deeper than that, because i can honestly say right now, that as much as we get along sometimes, and associate, i just can't stand her and i don't quite know why, i have such a strong loathe.

Answer 1

I don't think it has much to do with teenage hormones.  But, my mom and sister (17 years old) go at it a lot too.  From a third party perspective, it's not worth it.  Sometimes I get emotional about it and cry because I see how it tears my family apart.  The  main problem is personality conflict.  You're both stubborn, so yelling at each other is a losing battle.  And, I think those yelling bouts conflict with your real relationship.  I'm sure you have a good home life and there are times when you realize in your heart that you love her.  My family is Italian, so we bottle things inside, then all yell psychotically at each other, then everything is fine and we go back to normal.  Personally, that would be my ideal way to go about it.  Go ahead and have a fit, but once it's over, let it go and appreciate her.

Answer 2

you are going through a teenage faze. If you don't like her or trust her leave if you can.

get counseling.

Answer 3

Oh behave! We all say things we don't mean and frankly you sound a bit of a drama queen. Who else has done as much for you as your mum?

Answer 4

Sounds like its a mix of teen hormones and something way deeper combined. I don't know the situation that has happen before, but when a parent does untrustful things to a child/teen, it often leads to the child growing up and resenting the parent. It's pretty much a bad image of the parent that was branded in the child's mind. It's often harder for teens/kids to cope with such situations, as well as forgiving and forgetting. Until one becomes an adult and learns how to rationalize, is when the tension can fully go away, and still then that doesn't always happen.

Just remember your mother is the only mother you will ever have. The past is the past and all should be let go, maybe not forgotten, but you can't keep holding on to what ever happen and use it against them. It's only going to make matters worse. Be an adult about it (or when the time comes) let it go and move forward for the sake of a possible future family, wouldn't you want your kids to have a grandmother? Well unless she is still buried in what ever negative issues that this all came from.

Answer 5

If you had respect for yourself then you would have the respect you owe her as your mother, period.

Answer 6

This could just be a teen hormone thing, as well as on your mother's side a "phase" for her as she gets older and she experiences some body changes and a new outlook on life. As both the daughter and mother change, so does the relationship between the two (only temporarily). I know so many people who have had the same type of hostility towards each other (bickering mother and daughter relationship), and after time, it all worked out. It was only a phase.

However, it could be something deeper, if your mother really meant it when she said "i don't really care". If a mother rejects the need for trust from her own daughter, that is a pretty strong statement. You both could have hostile feelings for each other at the moment, but if you two are okay/indifferent about your bickering (if you are completely comfortable and apathetic) then something deeper is in the works.  

Answer 7

I think it is a combination of the past you two have and also teenage hormones.  I HATED my Dad when I was in High School, so I moved out and lived with my Mom when I was 16.  Now, I'm not nearly as angry at my Dad, I actually want to spend time with him.

A lot of it will go away once you've moved out and get a little older.  Being a teenage girl sucks..and all the unexplainable anger sucks.  I would just avoid her and since she wants to be immature and say she doesn't care how her behavior effected you, then you can be the adult in that situation.  Don't let her have control over your happiness, just avoid her and if you think you need counseling talk to a counselor at school about it, they may offer some great help.

Answer 8

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You know that thing with the magnets it works for people to. If you and your mom have the same stubborn points you will rub each other the wrong way. The good news is when you grow up and move out, you'll probably be good friends. Mean time living together everyday, all I can say is, try to keep cutting each other slack.

Answer 9

god this sounds like me and my dad when i was a teenager! i used to argue with him to the point where i could of gladly killed him. Obviously i didn't! We get on so well now i have moved out and live away from him. Sometimes moving out is the way forward. You can't just move out if your   to young though! These feelings are normal and this feeling of hate is normal to feel as a teenager to. Its hard to know what to do...i didn;t feel as if he listened to me and he didn't understand me. Sometimes i did back down though cus lookin back i was wrong sometimes.

I don't know what you and your mum have been through but it can't be that bad that you both can't put it behind you and go forwards can it? at the end of the day you will only ever have one mum. and when shes gone that it. make the most of her...even if she does her head in! x

Answer 10

When I was a teen, My mom and I had the worst relationship. We would fight and argue about EVERYTHING.  I would never talk to her and a part of me even hated her.

Eventually, we got over all that. She finally realized that once I turned 18 she couldn't rule my life anymore. I finally grew up a little bit and realized that she is my mother and she deserves respect. I think its a phase us girls go through. Especially if your mom is a single parent. I think that has lots to do with not getting along for some reason.

You will one day get past all this. Just think that life is too short to be angry all of the time. Even if you disagree on everything, suck it up because most of the time your mom is probably right. I only wish I would have listened to my mom back when I was a teen. It would have saved me from lots of regret. Now My mom and I are really close.  It takes time, but I think you should work on appreciating your mom and she will sense that. Things might get better.

Hope I helped a little.

Answer 11

Has it always been like this? If it has then I doubt your feelings will change. If it is something that just started lately then yes you can have a good relationship with her. You just need talk ot her without fighting and yelling at each other. Believe me one day you are going to miss being with her and you will look back at all the time you spent fighting with her and wonder why you did.  

Answer 12

There is an old joke that goes like this: When I was 15 my dad was an idiot, when I turned 25 it is amazing how much he learned in ten years.

You have hormonal changes going on, you are dealing with self-image issuses and believe it or not you are growing into a young lady. You are asserting yourself and your independence in the only way that you know how.

Deep down you know you are not ready to leave butyou long for freedom. With freedom comes a lot of responsibility. Responsibility you know you are not ready to handle. So make the best of what is now a difficult situation. As Dr. Phil often says, "If what you are doing isn't working, try something else."

Step back, think of the nice things your mother has done or a day when the two of you just simply had a good time.

Boys express rage more readily than girls. Girls are usually subtle about their rebellious nature.

Try catching your mom in a good mood or just a quiet moment , plan out what you want to say, and calmly approach her. If she reacts with temper, KEEP YOUR COOL, and say I do not want to fight with you I want to discuss with you, can we do that please.

I can not guarentee that this will work but holding onto anger over past incidents only eats at you. Not her. Resolve don't react.