Is there a rememdy for someone who just wants to be left alone or around certain people but not others?

Question

I have discovered I have been using illness as an excuse to avoid people. I am happy by myself. I love being with certain people but I like to feel joy & peace & progress. I have become inpatient with people I feel are negative. Is this healthy or is there a balch rememdy or something for it?..I am so happy being left alone. I am supposed to be at a family reunion today & a wedding next week & I don't even call & let people know I am not showing up. I was not like this years ago. I put everyone first & I am burnt out now.

Answer 1

I totally identify with what you are saying. I had some major life threatening issues over the past seven years, and I have gone from outgoing and servant-like to isolated and reflective by myself. I think it is a temporary season of life and you should use it to rest and renew from your illness. Do you like to write, or other solitary activities? Use this time. I think of all the "hermits" in history, writers, and poets like Emily Dickenson, and I feel "closer" to them now, and realize that they weren't weird, but needed that isolation for some reason.

You might want to force yourself to be polite, even if it is a simple, to the point, kind note that you RSVP, but let someone in your family closest to you in on what you are doing and then trust yourself.

P. S. You may get more answers to this if you ask on a weekday during work hours. Try again if you want.

Answer 2

I feel similar because most times I enjoy being alone.  It gives me time to think & unwind.  

So I don't view spending time alone as being unhealthy.  Especially if you are feeling joyful, peaceful & progressing in some way.  It becomes a problem when you are depressed, sad & feel lonely.  Maybe it is nature's way of telling you that you need to spend some time taking care of you.  Try to balance the time you spend giving to others and givbing to yourself.  

Either way, you shouldn't be lying to people.  If you don't want to be around them because they are negative - tell them in a nice way.  Or just be around the more positive people in the group that way you don't have to isolate yourself from everyone.

Answer 3

Lynne, you sound like you may be suffering from anger & depression, perhaps due to the loss of your son at such a young age. You need to go to bereavement or grief counseling & share your feelings & experience with others that have gone through the same. Most churches & hospices offer this at no charge. Make the effort & soon you'll be feeling better. Don't wait any longer, do it now.

Answer 4

I am a direct person and sometimes I know I have outgrown a friendship or relationship. Sometimes I just say listen my life is in a new direction and I don't have room for a relationship right now, sorry! Sometimes I tell the truth as tactfully as possible.

Favorite remedies:

1. walking away

2. hooking my arm through theirs and escorting them out!sometimes I add a don't come back!!!!!

3. don't call me I'll call you

4. do not return phones calls, texts, or invitations:)

I have adopted a "Live and Let Live" policy. One of my friends is a heavy smoker. I love her but I said listen I care about my health and I chose not to smoke or to be around smokers. Call me when you quit. She called the other day and I said wow you quit smoking. Well, umm no. CLICK! I hung up. Learning to put myself first has been a  true struggle, and I claim victory today through the "Grace of God" and because being a victim,  or unhappy is really just a bad choice I am responsible for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...